Which of these is funny?

Before I post...someone I blocked on here because he stated where is the ******* question you *******, contacted Yahoo. so Yahoo deleted 2 of my questions saying that they were not questions....so I may start each "Question" with a "Question"...





Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to


Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed


behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much.


The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser


of two weevils.





A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West


He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking


for the man who shot my paw."





Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his


dentist's Novocain during root canal work? He wanted


to transcend dental medication.





A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel


and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent


tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager


came out of the office and asked them to disperse.


"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.


"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting


in an open foyer."





There was a man who entered a local paper's pun


contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope


that at least one of the puns would win.


Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.





A woman had twins, and gave them up for adoption.


One of them went to a family in Egypt and was named


"Amal." The other went to a family in Spain, and they


named him "Juan." Years later, Juan sent a picture


of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she


told her husband that she wished she also had a


picture of Amal. Her husband responded, "But they are


twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."





And the worst of the bunch:





These friars were behind on their belfry


payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to


raise the money. Everyone liked to buy flowers from


the men of God, but the rival florist across town


thought the competition was unfair. He asked the


good fathers to close down, but they would not. He


went back and begged the friars to close. They


ignored him. He asked his mother to go and ask the


friars to get out of business. They ignored her too.


So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the


roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade"


them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed


their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close


their shop. Terrified, they did so - thereby proving


(are you ready for this?!)


that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.





**************************************...





The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the


older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a


couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the


confessional for a few suggestions.





The old priest suggests, "Cross you arms over your chest, and rub


your chin with one hand." The new priest tries this. The old priest


suggests, "Try saying things like, 'I see, yes, go on', and


"I understand. How did you feel about that?"





The new priest says those things. The old priest says, "Now,


don't you think that's a little better than slapping your


knee and saying 'No ****?!? What happened next

Which of these is funny?
I like all of your jokes and I think it's pitiful that some people have nothing better to do than report others for having a little innocent fun.
Reply:rotfl oh man thats bad
Reply:Eh. . .can you say lame-O. . .but I suppose it's because these jokes involve puns. . .the only one that gave me a chuckle was the florist friars one because it's so lame that it's actually funny
Reply:Good ones there!!


10/10


Star on its way!! *
Reply:hahahaha, those were pretty good!
Reply:they are all funny. i had a joke that got deleted yesterday for the same reason. i've changed the way i put it on here now. go to my questions and check it out!!
Reply:Thanks so much! I read these with my morning coffee and you have started my day very well. And to think that I was going to read the newspaper, full of sad and upsetting things. I am glad I came here first. I especially liked the "looking for the man who shot my paw", but they were all funny.


Thanks again,


Cheers
Reply:F*** the trolls! All they do is piss off people! :(





These jokes are great! xD


Have a star! *
Reply:LOL, they are all funny.


Thanks for posting.
Reply:idk ... i think im still tired i'll give u a star then come bac and read them later
Reply:Good clean humour is sometimes hard to find but never hard to enjoy. I appreciate your efforts and keep up the amusing work.
Reply:i loved them all !
Reply:well


There a tad pathetic


I didnt even laugh =/
Reply:Hahaha! the last one was ace!
Reply:Those are awesome!! Ha-ha! ...can..prevent...florist...friars!!! oh man I can't breathe!! LOL!!!


-Mel!
Reply:I like the last one best your jokes always make me smile thanks jake.
Reply:The last one was the best.
Reply:hahaha those are silly but very funny





I was reading a book...'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.





I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died.'"