isn't retail floristry in the uk depressing this time of the year. after the buzz of christmas, all you get are expencive wholesale flowers and few customers!. We dont even get any funeral orders as we are in a village that only gives money to charity (how selfish is that) I know valentines and mothers day is just around the corner, but then what till christmas again, a few weddings (when villagers are doing them half the price from home) some garden plants (when villagers are selling their own cuttings in their front gardens) and some mixed bunches ( when the fruit and veg and paper shop have cottened on and selling them at half price) what about silks? (the womens guild now sell them at stupid prices) When we started 3 years ago we were new and exciting, now every farmers wife and his 100 year mother are selling OUR ideas at a fraction of the price privatley. We are tied to the premisis for another 5 years and I love my job. (awarded the best in the county) what can I do to stay here
Retail florist in January, WHY?
All businesses such as yours will have competition from enthusiastic amateurs so you will have to start and think "outside of the box"
If you rely on your local community for support it looks like you might be in trouble. What about the following?
I presume you are interflora so can count on customers other than local?
Do you have a website where you can offer your services to a wider audience?
Can you do any local marketing yourself (ie flyers) in neighbouring villages or towns?
Can you widen your range of services to include (say) flower arranging courses?
Can you identify any large companies within close proximity of your shop who you may be able to interest with contract work - this could be very lucrative for you.
Is your shop big enough to section off so that you could sell something else in part of it?
What other needs do the village have which are currently unfulfilled by existing shops?
If you do nothing you will not survive in business
Friday, November 18, 2011
What do you think of my story No. 2?
Philip the bee returns after a busy day's work at the florist's shop. "Hi honey, I'm home", he says happily.
"I want a divource", shouts his hairy battleaxe of a wife in return.
"Darling, has something been bugging you" he implores, his blurred eyesight compounded by the welling tears.
"You just bumble your way in here trailing pollen across my clean floor; that's it, I'll see the Queen tomorrow", Beryl droned waspishly through gnashing mandibles.
And so poor Philip's marriage came to an end; when word got out it caused quite a buzz around the hive. But it got worse; he was so badly stung by the legal costs that he had to sell his home and go live with dear old Ant Doris.
What do you think of my story No. 2?
Hi silkie, x
It's good, and has a happy ending, because --------------
Along came Alice with her waspish waist, and black lashes, who gets Philip out of a sticky situation.
Hive hot news for you says she, drone you worry anymore. Sting along with me and we'll pollinate galore, and bee happzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy
Yeah Yeah, I know, stick to Architecture!
Reply:I think it's a bit creepy - crawly back in to your hole and stop pestering us.
Seriously it's not bad - It must have given you a buzz to write something this funny.
Reply:Poor Philip - I'll look after him!
Reply:I liked this story better than the other one because it was so gritty %26amp; realistic. Don't worry about the spelling, we know it's hard to type with only three fingers on each hand.
Reply:Good i enjoyed this wee story well thought of. You might be onto something there. Keep up the good work.
Reply:It Bee a good one with a sting in the tail!!
Reply:if he,d cooked her a pollonaise sauce, he may have been able to keep her a bit longer. Never mind, marriages are usually fly by night these days. tell him to drink some red bull to give him wings and his hot line will be buzzing all summer long. xxxxx
Reply:we love em ! Keep em coming.
xx
Reply:learn to spell before you go back to writing
Reply:Very good! Hive been chuckling ever since I read it!
Reply:nice story, cant wait for another.
Reply:i like that story its cool keep them coming.
mens leather boots
"I want a divource", shouts his hairy battleaxe of a wife in return.
"Darling, has something been bugging you" he implores, his blurred eyesight compounded by the welling tears.
"You just bumble your way in here trailing pollen across my clean floor; that's it, I'll see the Queen tomorrow", Beryl droned waspishly through gnashing mandibles.
And so poor Philip's marriage came to an end; when word got out it caused quite a buzz around the hive. But it got worse; he was so badly stung by the legal costs that he had to sell his home and go live with dear old Ant Doris.
What do you think of my story No. 2?
Hi silkie, x
It's good, and has a happy ending, because --------------
Along came Alice with her waspish waist, and black lashes, who gets Philip out of a sticky situation.
Hive hot news for you says she, drone you worry anymore. Sting along with me and we'll pollinate galore, and bee happzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy
Yeah Yeah, I know, stick to Architecture!
Reply:I think it's a bit creepy - crawly back in to your hole and stop pestering us.
Seriously it's not bad - It must have given you a buzz to write something this funny.
Reply:Poor Philip - I'll look after him!
Reply:I liked this story better than the other one because it was so gritty %26amp; realistic. Don't worry about the spelling, we know it's hard to type with only three fingers on each hand.
Reply:Good i enjoyed this wee story well thought of. You might be onto something there. Keep up the good work.
Reply:It Bee a good one with a sting in the tail!!
Reply:if he,d cooked her a pollonaise sauce, he may have been able to keep her a bit longer. Never mind, marriages are usually fly by night these days. tell him to drink some red bull to give him wings and his hot line will be buzzing all summer long. xxxxx
Reply:we love em ! Keep em coming.
xx
Reply:learn to spell before you go back to writing
Reply:Very good! Hive been chuckling ever since I read it!
Reply:nice story, cant wait for another.
Reply:i like that story its cool keep them coming.
mens leather boots
Is this sentence right? i need 35 words description of my shop?
For one of the most memorable events in your life, Sunflower Florist makes your wedding day unforgettable by creating elegant looks for bouquets and flowers for ceremony, reception and bridal party
Is this sentence right? i need 35 words description of my shop?
Not quite switch it to
For one of the most memorable moments in your life Sunflower Florist makes your wedding day unforgettable by creating elegant looks for the bouquets and flowers for your ceremony, reception and bridal party.
It flows more
Is this sentence right? i need 35 words description of my shop?
Not quite switch it to
For one of the most memorable moments in your life Sunflower Florist makes your wedding day unforgettable by creating elegant looks for the bouquets and flowers for your ceremony, reception and bridal party.
It flows more
What would you do if an employer took advantage of you?
I have worked for several florists and have a associates degree in floriculture. When I came to town, I got a job as a florist. I was new %26amp; they wouldn't listen to any of my background training, opting to use the advice of girls that "learned on the job".
I was given a chance to move to another shop in town. The entire group of girls quit that florist and moved along with me. The nice thing, was that here, I was given more respect %26amp; was often the first consulted on problems. I was the wedding %26amp; funeral specialist %26amp; the only one that could tie a pretty bow (not trying to brag...just being realistic).
Well, I had problems with one of the women who I have found out was a back stabber, %26amp; I let the employer know that i was going to quit if it didn't stop. She gave everyone all of the ____ work to do %26amp; sat around talking on the phone. Come to find out, she was a long time friend of the employer. I quit. Now they are talking badly about me. How can I save my reputation?
What would you do if an employer took advantage of you?
If you found on your own that this woman is a back stabber, then I'm sure everyone else knows her true nature. It's always best to leave people like that alone because they ultimately hang themselves in the end. They are the products of their own undoing and they always get their just penalty.
Do not concern yourself about what this kind of trash says about you. You have moved on. Eventually, the owner may come to realize that her business has suffered due to the loss of your expertise and hopefully will assign the blame where it belongs. Just remember one thing, many long lasting friendships have died due to money. Don't be surprised if the employer gives the longtime friend the boot.
Reply:nothing cuz i was in my own personal h*ll at the time
Reply:If they've done this to you, they've done it to other people. Just get a job somewhere else and don't worry about what they say. If you're asked what happened, be honest. I'm sure you're not the only one who knows that this employer plays favorites with her lazy friend.
The next time a situation like this comes up, however, think twice about quitting...I did the same thing last summer and regret leaving that job now because the employee who was causing me grief isn't there anymore.
Reply:two words: straight razor.
I was given a chance to move to another shop in town. The entire group of girls quit that florist and moved along with me. The nice thing, was that here, I was given more respect %26amp; was often the first consulted on problems. I was the wedding %26amp; funeral specialist %26amp; the only one that could tie a pretty bow (not trying to brag...just being realistic).
Well, I had problems with one of the women who I have found out was a back stabber, %26amp; I let the employer know that i was going to quit if it didn't stop. She gave everyone all of the ____ work to do %26amp; sat around talking on the phone. Come to find out, she was a long time friend of the employer. I quit. Now they are talking badly about me. How can I save my reputation?
What would you do if an employer took advantage of you?
If you found on your own that this woman is a back stabber, then I'm sure everyone else knows her true nature. It's always best to leave people like that alone because they ultimately hang themselves in the end. They are the products of their own undoing and they always get their just penalty.
Do not concern yourself about what this kind of trash says about you. You have moved on. Eventually, the owner may come to realize that her business has suffered due to the loss of your expertise and hopefully will assign the blame where it belongs. Just remember one thing, many long lasting friendships have died due to money. Don't be surprised if the employer gives the longtime friend the boot.
Reply:nothing cuz i was in my own personal h*ll at the time
Reply:If they've done this to you, they've done it to other people. Just get a job somewhere else and don't worry about what they say. If you're asked what happened, be honest. I'm sure you're not the only one who knows that this employer plays favorites with her lazy friend.
The next time a situation like this comes up, however, think twice about quitting...I did the same thing last summer and regret leaving that job now because the employee who was causing me grief isn't there anymore.
Reply:two words: straight razor.
Home-based or retail shop?
I have a home-based florals business (i am the florist). Should i do retail to get more business? please give me your opinnion as a customer. Thanks
Home-based or retail shop?
If you get a lot of foot traffic, it is better to have a retail shop. But if most of your orders are coming via web (being part of syndicate), you do not need to spend money in renting a shop.
Another option is to expand your house (if possible) and that can be your retail shop, you will have one of the shortest commute.
Home-based or retail shop?
If you get a lot of foot traffic, it is better to have a retail shop. But if most of your orders are coming via web (being part of syndicate), you do not need to spend money in renting a shop.
Another option is to expand your house (if possible) and that can be your retail shop, you will have one of the shortest commute.
HELPPP!!!! Need Ideas For An SAE!!!?
OK.....I have an SAE due on May 16, 2008 and i change my idea twice and i dont have any more ideas for my Supervised Agricultual Experience(SAE)....please help me! I wanted to get a job at florist shop cuz i like flowers n stuff but if i get the job i wont be in my state May 3rd to the 10th n if i get the job i dont want to be asking to take off work wen i just started! so pleaseeee give me some answers....i dont kno what to do! = (
HELPPP!!!! Need Ideas For An SAE!!!?
you could work at a store in the dairy department or you could grow garden vegies and sell them somewhere.. work at a farm.. their are really lots of options, take the florist job, im sure they wouldnt mind you missing some days
coach fur boots
HELPPP!!!! Need Ideas For An SAE!!!?
you could work at a store in the dairy department or you could grow garden vegies and sell them somewhere.. work at a farm.. their are really lots of options, take the florist job, im sure they wouldnt mind you missing some days
coach fur boots
This story will make you cry Red Roses were her favorite.?
Roses for Rose
Red roses were her favorites; her name was also Rose,
And every year her husband sent them tied with pretty bows.
The year he died the roses were delivered to her door,
The card said "Be My Valentine" like all the years before.
Each year he sent her roses and the note would always say,
"I love you even more this year than last year on this day,
My love for you will always grow with every passing year,"
She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear.
She thought he ordered roses in advance before this day,
Her loving husband did not know that he would pass away.
He always liked to do things early way before the time,
Then if he got too busy everything would work out fine.
She trimmed the stems and placed them in a very special vase,
Then sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face.
She would sit for hours in her husband's favorite chair,
While staring at his picture and the roses sitting there.
A year went by and it was hard to live without her mate,
With loneliness and solitude that had become her fate.
Then the very hour as on Valentines before,
The doorbell rang and there were roses sitting by her door.
She brought the roses in and then just looked at them in shock,
Then went to get the telephone to call the florist shop.
The owner answered and she asked him if he would explain,
Why would someone do this to her causing her such pain?
"I know your husband passed away more than a year ago,"
The owner said, "I knew you'd call and you would want to know."
"The flowers you received today were paid for in advance,
Your husband always planned ahead he left nothing to chance."
"There is a standing order that I have on file down here,
And he has paid well in advance you'll get them every year."
"There also is another thing that I think you should know,
He wrote a special little card he did this years ago."
"Then should ever I find out that he's no longer here,
That's the card that should be sent to you the following year."
She thanked him and hung up the phone her tears now flowing hard,
Her fingers shaking as she slowly reached to get the card.
Inside the card she saw that he had written her a note,
Then as she stared in total silence this is what he wrote.
Hello my love I know it's been a year since I've been gone,
I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome.
I know it must be lonely and the pain is very real,
For if it was the other way I know how I would feel.
The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life,
I loved you more than words can say you were the perfect wife.
You were my friend and lover you fulfilled my every need,
I know it's only been a year but please try not to grieve.
I want you to be happy even when you shed your tears,
That is why the roses will be sent to you for years.
When you get these roses think of all the happiness,
That we had together and how both of us were blessed.
I have always loved you and I know I always will,
But my love you must go on you have some living still.
Please try to find happiness while living out your days,
I know it is not easy but I hope you find some ways.
The roses will come every year and they will only stop,
When your door's not answered when the florist stops to knock.
He will come five times that day in case you have gone out,
But after his last visit he will know without a doubt,
To take the roses to the place where I've instructed him,
And place the roses where we are together once again.
This story will make you cry Red Roses were her favorite.?
You are right...this did bring tears to my eyes. Thanks for sharing.
Reply:wonderful, touching, a gem. . I will file this away for future use.
Reply:In answering you, I didn't cry. I don't have to, I have a love like that, and I wish each of you out there the same. I never dreamed I could love and be loved is such a special way. We work at our love and it's why it has lasted. So those of you who are having doubts or problems don't give up roll up your sleeves and get to work.
Reply:Beautiful, I'm too teary to write
Reply:I had to wait till i could see to tell you this is a love like no other.Thank you for reminding me what i have.
Reply:Lovely.
Sniiiiiiiiffff @@ dabs eyes
Reply:I was lucky. I married once, for life. It hasn't always been easy, but it's always been worth the effort. We've been together 36yrs and , yes, I'd marry him again today!!!
Red roses were her favorites; her name was also Rose,
And every year her husband sent them tied with pretty bows.
The year he died the roses were delivered to her door,
The card said "Be My Valentine" like all the years before.
Each year he sent her roses and the note would always say,
"I love you even more this year than last year on this day,
My love for you will always grow with every passing year,"
She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear.
She thought he ordered roses in advance before this day,
Her loving husband did not know that he would pass away.
He always liked to do things early way before the time,
Then if he got too busy everything would work out fine.
She trimmed the stems and placed them in a very special vase,
Then sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face.
She would sit for hours in her husband's favorite chair,
While staring at his picture and the roses sitting there.
A year went by and it was hard to live without her mate,
With loneliness and solitude that had become her fate.
Then the very hour as on Valentines before,
The doorbell rang and there were roses sitting by her door.
She brought the roses in and then just looked at them in shock,
Then went to get the telephone to call the florist shop.
The owner answered and she asked him if he would explain,
Why would someone do this to her causing her such pain?
"I know your husband passed away more than a year ago,"
The owner said, "I knew you'd call and you would want to know."
"The flowers you received today were paid for in advance,
Your husband always planned ahead he left nothing to chance."
"There is a standing order that I have on file down here,
And he has paid well in advance you'll get them every year."
"There also is another thing that I think you should know,
He wrote a special little card he did this years ago."
"Then should ever I find out that he's no longer here,
That's the card that should be sent to you the following year."
She thanked him and hung up the phone her tears now flowing hard,
Her fingers shaking as she slowly reached to get the card.
Inside the card she saw that he had written her a note,
Then as she stared in total silence this is what he wrote.
Hello my love I know it's been a year since I've been gone,
I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome.
I know it must be lonely and the pain is very real,
For if it was the other way I know how I would feel.
The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life,
I loved you more than words can say you were the perfect wife.
You were my friend and lover you fulfilled my every need,
I know it's only been a year but please try not to grieve.
I want you to be happy even when you shed your tears,
That is why the roses will be sent to you for years.
When you get these roses think of all the happiness,
That we had together and how both of us were blessed.
I have always loved you and I know I always will,
But my love you must go on you have some living still.
Please try to find happiness while living out your days,
I know it is not easy but I hope you find some ways.
The roses will come every year and they will only stop,
When your door's not answered when the florist stops to knock.
He will come five times that day in case you have gone out,
But after his last visit he will know without a doubt,
To take the roses to the place where I've instructed him,
And place the roses where we are together once again.
This story will make you cry Red Roses were her favorite.?
You are right...this did bring tears to my eyes. Thanks for sharing.
Reply:wonderful, touching, a gem. . I will file this away for future use.
Reply:In answering you, I didn't cry. I don't have to, I have a love like that, and I wish each of you out there the same. I never dreamed I could love and be loved is such a special way. We work at our love and it's why it has lasted. So those of you who are having doubts or problems don't give up roll up your sleeves and get to work.
Reply:Beautiful, I'm too teary to write
Reply:I had to wait till i could see to tell you this is a love like no other.Thank you for reminding me what i have.
Reply:Lovely.
Sniiiiiiiiffff @@ dabs eyes
Reply:I was lucky. I married once, for life. It hasn't always been easy, but it's always been worth the effort. We've been together 36yrs and , yes, I'd marry him again today!!!
What do you think of Saudi Arabia banning the color red?
Saudi Arabia has asked florists and gift shops to remove all red items until after Valentine's Day, calling the celebration of such a holiday a sin, local media reported Monday.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/meast/02/1...
What do you think of Saudi Arabia banning the color red?
we had a very interesting question just on that today..!! i think its nuts and so unfair on the women...they should feel alittle pampered tooo for once....i dont think celebrating valentines would take or add to anyones culture or religion..its just a day to love and be loved...whats so wrong about that!!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...
Reply:The average Saudi Arabian has no say what so ever in their own country . They are too scared to do anything to get rid of the ruling Royal family . So they conform told when,where and what to do in their daily lives.How humiliating and boring life must be .
Reply:I think that this is not of your business.
Let me ask you a question
We have a holiday called "Aladha". In this holiday we usually bring sheep to our yards and slaughter the sheep.
Will Americans accept this?
NO!!
This is a cultural difference.
We don't celebrate Valentines day..
Reply:Honestly, I do not waste a thought of it. Valentine's day is an American thing. If Americans need a special day to show their love to somebody, well.................
I much more apreciate it if my husband shows his love to me every day.
Btw: in the West it is comon that boy- and girl friends exchange cards, flowers and gifts. These kind of relationships you will not find in a strict Islamic country. What is the purpose for intertrucing it?
If you would be a cosmopilitian person, you also would recognize that "Valentine" is also critizied in India (not by Muslims). Why did you pick KSA?
Salam.
edit oh, honey: since when Valentine's is a Christian holiday???????????
Bein an Expat working in KSA, are you not getting Islamic holidays off without being a Muslim?
Reply:yes, I actually asked a question about that myself this morning. it's so sad!
Reply:a little over board.
banning a colour,
ban the holiday not a colour,
and what about pink, shouldn't that be banned too,
and little stuffed bears and other animals, and candy and other such stuff.
the holiday itself should be what's banned not one colour assosiated with it. (not that i agree with the banning, but understand why)
i didn't get to read the artical, for what ever reason i couldn't get the site to come up, i really think it is just me, the computer i am using is weird.
Reply:I think it is a ridiculous waste of time and attention. The more they try to control people the more people will obsess on the forbidden.
It is a sad state of affairs. There are starving kids , health problems and all sorts of important issues and they focus on the moral effects of the color red.
Reply:When in Rome,
do as the Romans.
The same applies here.
Reply:Banning red is only until after Valentine's Day. It is to encourage Muslims everywhere to not participate in a pagan holiday.
~~
This is from a blog by Alan Stewart Carl, but it is a clip from a CNN report.
It’s an attempt to squash Valentine’s day celebrations. Sheikh Khaled Al-Dossari, a scholar in Islamic studies, told the Saudi Gazette, an English-language newspaper:
"As Muslims we shouldn't celebrate a non-Muslim celebration, especially this one that encourages immoral relations between unmarried men and women, ".
And don’t forget it encourages the consuming of nasty little candy hearts and stale chocolate. And flora-cide –- Valentine’s day is the leading cause of flower murder in the world. I don’t know why we all don’t ban it. In fact, I know a lot of American men who would be just fine with such a regulation.
~~~~
I think -- no big deal.
Reply:it is normal for a conservative islamic country not to allow celebrating a christian holy day.it is sad for the foreigners and also for the saudi women ,who just open their eyes and seen the western life,and they like it.......
the saudi shouldn't complain.they got use to it.as i said,is normal
banning all things red coloured,doesn't make a big difference,actually.ppl who are in love or,just like someone,will find a solution...other colour!the favorite,one!
btw :h ...i am not an expatriate.i don't care much about holydays.but i agree with the customs in saudi.i don't complain as a foreigner
http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/meast/02/1...
What do you think of Saudi Arabia banning the color red?
we had a very interesting question just on that today..!! i think its nuts and so unfair on the women...they should feel alittle pampered tooo for once....i dont think celebrating valentines would take or add to anyones culture or religion..its just a day to love and be loved...whats so wrong about that!!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...
Reply:The average Saudi Arabian has no say what so ever in their own country . They are too scared to do anything to get rid of the ruling Royal family . So they conform told when,where and what to do in their daily lives.How humiliating and boring life must be .
Reply:I think that this is not of your business.
Let me ask you a question
We have a holiday called "Aladha". In this holiday we usually bring sheep to our yards and slaughter the sheep.
Will Americans accept this?
NO!!
This is a cultural difference.
We don't celebrate Valentines day..
Reply:Honestly, I do not waste a thought of it. Valentine's day is an American thing. If Americans need a special day to show their love to somebody, well.................
I much more apreciate it if my husband shows his love to me every day.
Btw: in the West it is comon that boy- and girl friends exchange cards, flowers and gifts. These kind of relationships you will not find in a strict Islamic country. What is the purpose for intertrucing it?
If you would be a cosmopilitian person, you also would recognize that "Valentine" is also critizied in India (not by Muslims). Why did you pick KSA?
Salam.
edit oh, honey: since when Valentine's is a Christian holiday???????????
Bein an Expat working in KSA, are you not getting Islamic holidays off without being a Muslim?
Reply:yes, I actually asked a question about that myself this morning. it's so sad!
Reply:a little over board.
banning a colour,
ban the holiday not a colour,
and what about pink, shouldn't that be banned too,
and little stuffed bears and other animals, and candy and other such stuff.
the holiday itself should be what's banned not one colour assosiated with it. (not that i agree with the banning, but understand why)
i didn't get to read the artical, for what ever reason i couldn't get the site to come up, i really think it is just me, the computer i am using is weird.
Reply:I think it is a ridiculous waste of time and attention. The more they try to control people the more people will obsess on the forbidden.
It is a sad state of affairs. There are starving kids , health problems and all sorts of important issues and they focus on the moral effects of the color red.
Reply:When in Rome,
do as the Romans.
The same applies here.
Reply:Banning red is only until after Valentine's Day. It is to encourage Muslims everywhere to not participate in a pagan holiday.
~~
This is from a blog by Alan Stewart Carl, but it is a clip from a CNN report.
It’s an attempt to squash Valentine’s day celebrations. Sheikh Khaled Al-Dossari, a scholar in Islamic studies, told the Saudi Gazette, an English-language newspaper:
"As Muslims we shouldn't celebrate a non-Muslim celebration, especially this one that encourages immoral relations between unmarried men and women, ".
And don’t forget it encourages the consuming of nasty little candy hearts and stale chocolate. And flora-cide –- Valentine’s day is the leading cause of flower murder in the world. I don’t know why we all don’t ban it. In fact, I know a lot of American men who would be just fine with such a regulation.
~~~~
I think -- no big deal.
Reply:it is normal for a conservative islamic country not to allow celebrating a christian holy day.it is sad for the foreigners and also for the saudi women ,who just open their eyes and seen the western life,and they like it.......
the saudi shouldn't complain.they got use to it.as i said,is normal
banning all things red coloured,doesn't make a big difference,actually.ppl who are in love or,just like someone,will find a solution...other colour!the favorite,one!
btw :h ...i am not an expatriate.i don't care much about holydays.but i agree with the customs in saudi.i don't complain as a foreigner
You have to read this.. coz... it is absolutely beautiful......?
Each year he sent her roses,
and the note would always say,
I love you even more this year,
than last year on this day.
My love for you will always grow,
with every passing year."
She knew this was the last time
that the roses would appear.
She thought, he ordered roses
in advance before this day.
Her loving husband did not know,
that he would pass away.
He always liked to do things early,
way before the time.
Then, if he got too busy,
everything would work out fine.
She trimmed the stems and
placed them in a very special vase.
Then, sat the vase beside
the portrait of his smiling face.
She would sit for hours,
In her husband's favorite chair.
While staring at his picture,
and the roses sitting there.
A year went by, and it was
to live without her mate.
With loneliness and solitude,
that had become her fate.
Then, the very hour,
The doorbell rang, and there
were roses sitting by her door.
She brought the roses in,
and then just looked at them in shock.
Then, went to get the telephone,
to call the florist shop.
The owner answered, and she asked him,
if he would explain, Why would someone would
do this to her, causing her such pain?
"I know your husband passed away,
more than a year ago,"
The owner said,
"I knew you'd call, and you would want to know.
The flowers you received today,
were paid for in advance.
Your husband always planned ahead,
he left nothing to chance.
There is a standing order,
that I have on file down here,
And he has paid, well in advance,
you'll get them every year.
There also is another thing,
that I think you should know,
He wrote a special little card...he did this years ago.
Then, should ever I find out that he's no longer here, that's the card that should be sent to you
the following year."
She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard.
Her fingers shaking,
as she slowly reached to get the card.
Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note.
Then, as she stared in total silence,
this is what he wrote...
"Hello my love, I know it's been a year
since I've been gone.
I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome.
I know it must be lonely,
and the pain is very real.
Or if it was the other way,
I know how I would feel.
The love we shared made everything
so beautiful in life.
I loved you more than words can say,
you were the perfect wife.
You were my friend and lover,
you fulfilled my every need.
I know it's only been a year,
but please try not to grieve.
I want you to be happy,
even when you shed your tears.
That is why the roses will be sent to you for years.
When you get these roses,
think of all the happiness that we had together,
and how both of us were blessed.
I have always loved you and
I know I always will.
But, my love, you must go on,
you have some living still.
Please...try to find happiness,
while living out your days.
I know it is not easy,
but I hope you find some ways.
The roses will come every year,
and they will only stop,
When your door's not answered,
when the florist stops to knock.
He will come five times that day,
in case you have gone out.
But after his last visit,
he will know without a doubt!
To take the roses to the place,
where I've instructed him
and place the roses where we are,
together once again.
Sometimes in life, you find a special one...;
Someone who changes your life
just by being part of it.
Someone who makes you laugh
until you can't stop;
Someone who makes you believe
that there really is good in the world.
Someone who convinces you
that there really is an unlocked door
just waiting for 'you' to open it.
You have to read this.. coz... it is absolutely beautiful......?
*tear tear*
Reply:Very Beautiful this story is almost told in a form of poem called a couplet very wonderful story sad happy and a mixture of feelings that is so sweet what her husband does for her thank you for sharing it
Reply:It was too long to read so i just opted for the 2 points. xD
Reply:Absolutely beautiful. Thank you. X%26amp;O
Reply:this is sooooooo BEAUTIFUL
i love it
Reply:VERY BEAUTIFUL ..........can u wipe my trears......... :(
Reply:Omg that was so nice I got goose bumps!
Reply:let me dry my eyes so i can type. i wish i could find a love like that. wow how beautiful.
Reply:awsome
Reply:Yeah a tad long , but ok , not much rhyming or keeping it in sinc but ya did ok .
I'd trim it up a bit so next time we're not going cross eyed by the 5th paragraph , keep up the good work.
Reply:awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww how beautiful!!!!
Reply:I think its really happened to you, and you just want open the door wish someone will have a look inside...? GBU
and the note would always say,
I love you even more this year,
than last year on this day.
My love for you will always grow,
with every passing year."
She knew this was the last time
that the roses would appear.
She thought, he ordered roses
in advance before this day.
Her loving husband did not know,
that he would pass away.
He always liked to do things early,
way before the time.
Then, if he got too busy,
everything would work out fine.
She trimmed the stems and
placed them in a very special vase.
Then, sat the vase beside
the portrait of his smiling face.
She would sit for hours,
In her husband's favorite chair.
While staring at his picture,
and the roses sitting there.
A year went by, and it was
to live without her mate.
With loneliness and solitude,
that had become her fate.
Then, the very hour,
The doorbell rang, and there
were roses sitting by her door.
She brought the roses in,
and then just looked at them in shock.
Then, went to get the telephone,
to call the florist shop.
The owner answered, and she asked him,
if he would explain, Why would someone would
do this to her, causing her such pain?
"I know your husband passed away,
more than a year ago,"
The owner said,
"I knew you'd call, and you would want to know.
The flowers you received today,
were paid for in advance.
Your husband always planned ahead,
he left nothing to chance.
There is a standing order,
that I have on file down here,
And he has paid, well in advance,
you'll get them every year.
There also is another thing,
that I think you should know,
He wrote a special little card...he did this years ago.
Then, should ever I find out that he's no longer here, that's the card that should be sent to you
the following year."
She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard.
Her fingers shaking,
as she slowly reached to get the card.
Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note.
Then, as she stared in total silence,
this is what he wrote...
"Hello my love, I know it's been a year
since I've been gone.
I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome.
I know it must be lonely,
and the pain is very real.
Or if it was the other way,
I know how I would feel.
The love we shared made everything
so beautiful in life.
I loved you more than words can say,
you were the perfect wife.
You were my friend and lover,
you fulfilled my every need.
I know it's only been a year,
but please try not to grieve.
I want you to be happy,
even when you shed your tears.
That is why the roses will be sent to you for years.
When you get these roses,
think of all the happiness that we had together,
and how both of us were blessed.
I have always loved you and
I know I always will.
But, my love, you must go on,
you have some living still.
Please...try to find happiness,
while living out your days.
I know it is not easy,
but I hope you find some ways.
The roses will come every year,
and they will only stop,
When your door's not answered,
when the florist stops to knock.
He will come five times that day,
in case you have gone out.
But after his last visit,
he will know without a doubt!
To take the roses to the place,
where I've instructed him
and place the roses where we are,
together once again.
Sometimes in life, you find a special one...;
Someone who changes your life
just by being part of it.
Someone who makes you laugh
until you can't stop;
Someone who makes you believe
that there really is good in the world.
Someone who convinces you
that there really is an unlocked door
just waiting for 'you' to open it.
You have to read this.. coz... it is absolutely beautiful......?
*tear tear*
Reply:Very Beautiful this story is almost told in a form of poem called a couplet very wonderful story sad happy and a mixture of feelings that is so sweet what her husband does for her thank you for sharing it
Reply:It was too long to read so i just opted for the 2 points. xD
Reply:Absolutely beautiful. Thank you. X%26amp;O
Reply:this is sooooooo BEAUTIFUL
i love it
Reply:VERY BEAUTIFUL ..........can u wipe my trears......... :(
Reply:Omg that was so nice I got goose bumps!
Reply:let me dry my eyes so i can type. i wish i could find a love like that. wow how beautiful.
Reply:awsome
Reply:Yeah a tad long , but ok , not much rhyming or keeping it in sinc but ya did ok .
I'd trim it up a bit so next time we're not going cross eyed by the 5th paragraph , keep up the good work.
Reply:awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww how beautiful!!!!
Reply:I think its really happened to you, and you just want open the door wish someone will have a look inside...? GBU
Simple Interest PLEASE:)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
Jennifer Kerber borrows $10,450 from her bank to open a florist shop. She agrees to repay the money in 18 months with simple interest of 10.4%
(a) How much must she pay the bank in 18 months?
(b) How much of the amount in part (a) is interest?.
Simple Interest PLEASE:)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
She'll pay $629.52 a month, times 18 months, so that's $11,331.36 of which $881.36 is interest.... I think!!
wide children shoes
(a) How much must she pay the bank in 18 months?
(b) How much of the amount in part (a) is interest?.
Simple Interest PLEASE:)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
She'll pay $629.52 a month, times 18 months, so that's $11,331.36 of which $881.36 is interest.... I think!!
wide children shoes
Do you Love Flowers? Especially Roses? You'll enjoy this!?
This woman and her husband have this really bad fight. He goes off to work the next day without talking to her, but she doesn't care.
She's busy doing her thing around the house. All of the sudden, around 1:00 in the afternoon, the doorbell rings. She goes to the door and opens it and there is a young delivery guy from the local florist shop with an enormous, beautiful bouquet of long-stemmed red roses...the expensive ones...from her husband.
She says to the delivery guy with disgust, "Oh CRAP!"
The delivery guy says, "What's a matter lady? You don't like roses?"
She replies, "Yeah, I like roses, but do you know what this means?"
He says, "No, Lady, what does this mean?"
She answers, "It means for the next two weeks I'll be laying on my back with my legs in the air."
He replies, "Geez, Lady, don't you have a vase?"
Do you Love Flowers? Especially Roses? You'll enjoy this!?
That is awesome! I love roses, but even I wouldn't keep them there just to save them....they have thorns!!!!
Reply:love it :) :) :)
Reply:Good joke!!
"Tara", you can't be serious, can you????
Reply:ok... thats weird
She's busy doing her thing around the house. All of the sudden, around 1:00 in the afternoon, the doorbell rings. She goes to the door and opens it and there is a young delivery guy from the local florist shop with an enormous, beautiful bouquet of long-stemmed red roses...the expensive ones...from her husband.
She says to the delivery guy with disgust, "Oh CRAP!"
The delivery guy says, "What's a matter lady? You don't like roses?"
She replies, "Yeah, I like roses, but do you know what this means?"
He says, "No, Lady, what does this mean?"
She answers, "It means for the next two weeks I'll be laying on my back with my legs in the air."
He replies, "Geez, Lady, don't you have a vase?"
Do you Love Flowers? Especially Roses? You'll enjoy this!?
That is awesome! I love roses, but even I wouldn't keep them there just to save them....they have thorns!!!!
Reply:love it :) :) :)
Reply:Good joke!!
"Tara", you can't be serious, can you????
Reply:ok... thats weird
Another Blonde joke?
A Brunette and a Blonde are walking through the mall. The Brunette says "My God I hope my boyfriend is not in that florist shop buying me flowers." "Why not?" asks the Blonde. "Because every time he buys me flowers, I spend the next week with my legs in the air", says the Brunette. "Why is that", asks the Blonde, don't you have any vases?"
Another Blonde joke?
HA HA DONT YOU HAVE ANY VASES HAAAAA 10/10
Reply:HAHAHAHA i get it
Reply:LOL
Reply:2 pnts
Reply:sooo funny
Reply:good one (lol)!
Reply:It's really not that funny. But thank you for the 2 points.
Reply:Ha ha
Reply:Ha Ha! Funny!
Reply:ok i get lol this one actually made me laugh
Reply:just okay...
Reply:Now that was funny.
Reply:lol
Another Blonde joke?
HA HA DONT YOU HAVE ANY VASES HAAAAA 10/10
Reply:HAHAHAHA i get it
Reply:LOL
Reply:2 pnts
Reply:sooo funny
Reply:good one (lol)!
Reply:It's really not that funny. But thank you for the 2 points.
Reply:Ha ha
Reply:Ha Ha! Funny!
Reply:ok i get lol this one actually made me laugh
Reply:just okay...
Reply:Now that was funny.
Reply:lol
Do you think she is hot & sexy? Get ready to Laugh!?
This woman and her husband have this really bad fight. He goes off to work the next day without talking to her, but she doesn't care.
She's busy doing her thing around the house. All of the sudden, around 1:00 in the afternoon, the doorbell rings. She goes to the door and opens it and there is a young delivery guy from the local florist shop with an enormous, beautiful bouquet of long-stemmed red roses...the expensive ones...from her husband.
She says to the delivery guy with disgust, "Oh CRAP!"
The delivery guy says, "What's a matter lady? You don't like roses?"
She replies, "Yeah, I like roses, but do you know what this means?"
He says, "No, Lady, what does this mean?"
She answers, "It means for the next two weeks I'll be laying on my back with my legs in the air."
He replies, "Geez, Lady, don't you have a vase?"
Do you think she is hot %26amp; sexy? Get ready to Laugh!?
Computer $1,000
Internet $25.99
Jokes from Citizen..PRICELESS
Reply:ha ha ha
so funny
yeah, she hot %26amp; sexy
Reply:Great joke, but again it's a repeat of yours. :) Are you finally running out of jokes?? Just teasing.
Reply:LMAO!! That is a great joke!
Reply:Very funny..... I needed a good laugh...
Reply:Haaaa haaa
That was awesome
where did you get it from
Lovely
10/10
She's busy doing her thing around the house. All of the sudden, around 1:00 in the afternoon, the doorbell rings. She goes to the door and opens it and there is a young delivery guy from the local florist shop with an enormous, beautiful bouquet of long-stemmed red roses...the expensive ones...from her husband.
She says to the delivery guy with disgust, "Oh CRAP!"
The delivery guy says, "What's a matter lady? You don't like roses?"
She replies, "Yeah, I like roses, but do you know what this means?"
He says, "No, Lady, what does this mean?"
She answers, "It means for the next two weeks I'll be laying on my back with my legs in the air."
He replies, "Geez, Lady, don't you have a vase?"
Do you think she is hot %26amp; sexy? Get ready to Laugh!?
Computer $1,000
Internet $25.99
Jokes from Citizen..PRICELESS
Reply:ha ha ha
so funny
yeah, she hot %26amp; sexy
Reply:Great joke, but again it's a repeat of yours. :) Are you finally running out of jokes?? Just teasing.
Reply:LMAO!! That is a great joke!
Reply:Very funny..... I needed a good laugh...
Reply:Haaaa haaa
That was awesome
where did you get it from
Lovely
10/10
A 21st Century Marriage?
I stopped at a florist shop after work to pick up roses for my wife. As the clerk was putting the finishing touches on the bouquet, a young man burst through the door, breathlessly requesting a dozen red roses.
"I'm sorry," the clerk said. "This man just ordered our last bunch." The desperate customer turned to me and begged, "May I please have those roses?"
"What happened?" I asked. "Did you forget your wedding anniversary?"
"It's even worse than that," he confided. "I crashed my wife's hard drive!"
A 21st Century Marriage?
haha!! better make it 10 dozen, after all it was a hard drive!!☺
Reply:thats the best joke I 've ever heard . Where do you get them?
Reply:hahaha, 10/10, star, brilliant.
Reply:now THAT'S funny!! i love it!
Reply:hum spose flowers good aplology
Reply:That's gotta be the funniest joke ever.
Reply:that is really funny, i am giving you a star
Reply:You are definitely going to need roses, good luck.
soft leather baby shoes
"I'm sorry," the clerk said. "This man just ordered our last bunch." The desperate customer turned to me and begged, "May I please have those roses?"
"What happened?" I asked. "Did you forget your wedding anniversary?"
"It's even worse than that," he confided. "I crashed my wife's hard drive!"
A 21st Century Marriage?
haha!! better make it 10 dozen, after all it was a hard drive!!☺
Reply:thats the best joke I 've ever heard . Where do you get them?
Reply:hahaha, 10/10, star, brilliant.
Reply:now THAT'S funny!! i love it!
Reply:hum spose flowers good aplology
Reply:That's gotta be the funniest joke ever.
Reply:that is really funny, i am giving you a star
Reply:You are definitely going to need roses, good luck.
soft leather baby shoes
What is the flower process?
I need to know the steps taken from planting flowers in a flower farm, to shipping them off to a florist, flower prep, and setting them out to be bought in the shop.
What is the flower process?
Okay Angel, trot on down to the book store and cruise through the horticulture section. Maybe the library is a good idea too. Look up floriculture on the web. All the steps are there for you. Cheers
What is the flower process?
Okay Angel, trot on down to the book store and cruise through the horticulture section. Maybe the library is a good idea too. Look up floriculture on the web. All the steps are there for you. Cheers
Good Blonde Joke?
A blonde and a redhead are walking down the street when the redhead sees her boyfriend in the distance going into a florist shop. She says to the blonde, "I love getting flowers, but there's always an expectation that goes with it, I'll probably spend all weekend with my legs in the air."
The blonde looks at her sideways for a moment and finally says, "why, don't you have a vase?
Good Blonde Joke?
Ha Ha... I'll tell that one to my blonde headed boss...
Reply:Funny! You get a star.
Reply:i have already heard that 1...lol
Reply:good one!
A blonde goes into work and her male coworker says,"I don't feel like working today. I am going to pretend I am crazy to go home." He climbs up onto the rafters and hangs down by his knees. Their supervisor comes in and says, "What are you doing up there?" The man says, "I am a light bulb!" The supervisor says, "Get down and go home, you nut!" After the man climbs down and leaves, the blonde goes to her desk, gets her coat and starts to leave. The supervisor says, "Where do you think you are going?" The blonde says, "You don't expect me to work in the dark, do you?"
Reply:yeah that's okay
Reply:omg haha
Reply:Hahaha, I choked on my ice I was laughing so much :D
Reply:good one never heard it before
Reply:nahh
Reply:good one mate...classic
Reply:Not bad.
Reply:it was ok
Reply:gross, . . . yet funny.
Reply:pretty good.
a blonde driving alone in a car is stopped at a red light. she looks out the side and sees another blonde sitting on the sidewalk paddling an imaginary canoe. the one in the car says, "hey you moron, its people like you that give us a bad name, if i could swim i'd go over there and kick your a**".
Reply:LOL. The blonde is naive.
Reply:lmao. That wuz funny :)
Reply:Not really. I didn't like the joke.
Reply:good one
Reply:haha, that stupid blonde. very funny.
Reply:dirty and stupid but good. i like it i was brilliant
The blonde looks at her sideways for a moment and finally says, "why, don't you have a vase?
Good Blonde Joke?
Ha Ha... I'll tell that one to my blonde headed boss...
Reply:Funny! You get a star.
Reply:i have already heard that 1...lol
Reply:good one!
A blonde goes into work and her male coworker says,"I don't feel like working today. I am going to pretend I am crazy to go home." He climbs up onto the rafters and hangs down by his knees. Their supervisor comes in and says, "What are you doing up there?" The man says, "I am a light bulb!" The supervisor says, "Get down and go home, you nut!" After the man climbs down and leaves, the blonde goes to her desk, gets her coat and starts to leave. The supervisor says, "Where do you think you are going?" The blonde says, "You don't expect me to work in the dark, do you?"
Reply:yeah that's okay
Reply:omg haha
Reply:Hahaha, I choked on my ice I was laughing so much :D
Reply:good one never heard it before
Reply:nahh
Reply:good one mate...classic
Reply:Not bad.
Reply:it was ok
Reply:gross, . . . yet funny.
Reply:pretty good.
a blonde driving alone in a car is stopped at a red light. she looks out the side and sees another blonde sitting on the sidewalk paddling an imaginary canoe. the one in the car says, "hey you moron, its people like you that give us a bad name, if i could swim i'd go over there and kick your a**".
Reply:LOL. The blonde is naive.
Reply:lmao. That wuz funny :)
Reply:Not really. I didn't like the joke.
Reply:good one
Reply:haha, that stupid blonde. very funny.
Reply:dirty and stupid but good. i like it i was brilliant
Another blonde joke?
A blonde %26amp; brunette are walking down the road when a man comes out of a florist shop holding a bunch of flowers. "Oh No" says the brunette, "I hope my husband doesnt bring me another bunch of flowers tonight". The blonde turns ands asks "Why not?" "Because it means I will be flat on my back with my legs in the air again" replies the brunette. After a minute the blonde asks "Dont you have any vases?"
Another blonde joke?
lolz....good one...here's one for you
Here's a blonde joke for u
Three salesmen were bragging who is the best.
The first said, that he is so good he sold a color television to a blind
man.
The second bragged he sold a HI-FI stereo system to a deaf man.
The third said he sold a Cuckoo clock to a blonde lady.
The other two said, so what?
The third salesman added, along with the
Cuckoo clock, I also sold her one hundred pounds of bird seeds!!!!!
CHeeRioS
Reply:heard that one before but still a good one
Reply:lol
Reply:lol!!!!!!!!!!!! good 1
Reply:lol hahahahaha. that's a smashing joke. thank you.a star for you.
Reply:LMAO!!!
Reply:lol! XD star for you!
Reply:**** you!!! not all blondes are dumb! **** you
Reply:ahahahahahaha!! Nice,
thats something my clueless friends would say,
*stars*
Reply:8/10
Reply:good
Reply:HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *STAR*
Another blonde joke?
lolz....good one...here's one for you
Here's a blonde joke for u
Three salesmen were bragging who is the best.
The first said, that he is so good he sold a color television to a blind
man.
The second bragged he sold a HI-FI stereo system to a deaf man.
The third said he sold a Cuckoo clock to a blonde lady.
The other two said, so what?
The third salesman added, along with the
Cuckoo clock, I also sold her one hundred pounds of bird seeds!!!!!
CHeeRioS
Reply:heard that one before but still a good one
Reply:lol
Reply:lol!!!!!!!!!!!! good 1
Reply:lol hahahahaha. that's a smashing joke. thank you.a star for you.
Reply:LMAO!!!
Reply:lol! XD star for you!
Reply:**** you!!! not all blondes are dumb! **** you
Reply:ahahahahahaha!! Nice,
thats something my clueless friends would say,
*stars*
Reply:8/10
Reply:good
Reply:HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *STAR*
How do i do this??
i hav a advertisement tat i wana post in the net.. how do i do tat??? help me pls...
Coz my bro in law has start up a Florist shop in Singapore.. and the prices are reali reasonalble.. 99 Roses at $290 with delivery Charges included... btw.. Any Singaporeans wana order??? i shall put the contact number now..
How do i do this??
this is not a place for advertising
mobile
Coz my bro in law has start up a Florist shop in Singapore.. and the prices are reali reasonalble.. 99 Roses at $290 with delivery Charges included... btw.. Any Singaporeans wana order??? i shall put the contact number now..
How do i do this??
this is not a place for advertising
mobile
Which of these is funny?
Before I post...someone I blocked on here because he stated where is the ******* question you *******, contacted Yahoo. so Yahoo deleted 2 of my questions saying that they were not questions....so I may start each "Question" with a "Question"...
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to
Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed
behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much.
The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser
of two weevils.
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West
He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking
for the man who shot my paw."
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his
dentist's Novocain during root canal work? He wanted
to transcend dental medication.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel
and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent
tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager
came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting
in an open foyer."
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun
contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope
that at least one of the puns would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
A woman had twins, and gave them up for adoption.
One of them went to a family in Egypt and was named
"Amal." The other went to a family in Spain, and they
named him "Juan." Years later, Juan sent a picture
of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she
told her husband that she wished she also had a
picture of Amal. Her husband responded, "But they are
twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
And the worst of the bunch:
These friars were behind on their belfry
payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to
raise the money. Everyone liked to buy flowers from
the men of God, but the rival florist across town
thought the competition was unfair. He asked the
good fathers to close down, but they would not. He
went back and begged the friars to close. They
ignored him. He asked his mother to go and ask the
friars to get out of business. They ignored her too.
So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the
roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade"
them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed
their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close
their shop. Terrified, they did so - thereby proving
(are you ready for this?!)
that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
**************************************...
The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the
older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a
couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the
confessional for a few suggestions.
The old priest suggests, "Cross you arms over your chest, and rub
your chin with one hand." The new priest tries this. The old priest
suggests, "Try saying things like, 'I see, yes, go on', and
"I understand. How did you feel about that?"
The new priest says those things. The old priest says, "Now,
don't you think that's a little better than slapping your
knee and saying 'No ****?!? What happened next
Which of these is funny?
I like all of your jokes and I think it's pitiful that some people have nothing better to do than report others for having a little innocent fun.
Reply:rotfl oh man thats bad
Reply:Eh. . .can you say lame-O. . .but I suppose it's because these jokes involve puns. . .the only one that gave me a chuckle was the florist friars one because it's so lame that it's actually funny
Reply:Good ones there!!
10/10
Star on its way!! *
Reply:hahahaha, those were pretty good!
Reply:they are all funny. i had a joke that got deleted yesterday for the same reason. i've changed the way i put it on here now. go to my questions and check it out!!
Reply:Thanks so much! I read these with my morning coffee and you have started my day very well. And to think that I was going to read the newspaper, full of sad and upsetting things. I am glad I came here first. I especially liked the "looking for the man who shot my paw", but they were all funny.
Thanks again,
Cheers
Reply:F*** the trolls! All they do is piss off people! :(
These jokes are great! xD
Have a star! *
Reply:LOL, they are all funny.
Thanks for posting.
Reply:idk ... i think im still tired i'll give u a star then come bac and read them later
Reply:Good clean humour is sometimes hard to find but never hard to enjoy. I appreciate your efforts and keep up the amusing work.
Reply:i loved them all !
Reply:well
There a tad pathetic
I didnt even laugh =/
Reply:Hahaha! the last one was ace!
Reply:Those are awesome!! Ha-ha! ...can..prevent...florist...friars!!! oh man I can't breathe!! LOL!!!
-Mel!
Reply:I like the last one best your jokes always make me smile thanks jake.
Reply:The last one was the best.
Reply:hahaha those are silly but very funny
I was reading a book...'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.
I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died.'"
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to
Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed
behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much.
The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser
of two weevils.
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West
He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking
for the man who shot my paw."
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his
dentist's Novocain during root canal work? He wanted
to transcend dental medication.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel
and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent
tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager
came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting
in an open foyer."
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun
contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope
that at least one of the puns would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
A woman had twins, and gave them up for adoption.
One of them went to a family in Egypt and was named
"Amal." The other went to a family in Spain, and they
named him "Juan." Years later, Juan sent a picture
of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she
told her husband that she wished she also had a
picture of Amal. Her husband responded, "But they are
twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
And the worst of the bunch:
These friars were behind on their belfry
payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to
raise the money. Everyone liked to buy flowers from
the men of God, but the rival florist across town
thought the competition was unfair. He asked the
good fathers to close down, but they would not. He
went back and begged the friars to close. They
ignored him. He asked his mother to go and ask the
friars to get out of business. They ignored her too.
So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the
roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade"
them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed
their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close
their shop. Terrified, they did so - thereby proving
(are you ready for this?!)
that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
**************************************...
The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the
older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a
couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the
confessional for a few suggestions.
The old priest suggests, "Cross you arms over your chest, and rub
your chin with one hand." The new priest tries this. The old priest
suggests, "Try saying things like, 'I see, yes, go on', and
"I understand. How did you feel about that?"
The new priest says those things. The old priest says, "Now,
don't you think that's a little better than slapping your
knee and saying 'No ****?!? What happened next
Which of these is funny?
I like all of your jokes and I think it's pitiful that some people have nothing better to do than report others for having a little innocent fun.
Reply:rotfl oh man thats bad
Reply:Eh. . .can you say lame-O. . .but I suppose it's because these jokes involve puns. . .the only one that gave me a chuckle was the florist friars one because it's so lame that it's actually funny
Reply:Good ones there!!
10/10
Star on its way!! *
Reply:hahahaha, those were pretty good!
Reply:they are all funny. i had a joke that got deleted yesterday for the same reason. i've changed the way i put it on here now. go to my questions and check it out!!
Reply:Thanks so much! I read these with my morning coffee and you have started my day very well. And to think that I was going to read the newspaper, full of sad and upsetting things. I am glad I came here first. I especially liked the "looking for the man who shot my paw", but they were all funny.
Thanks again,
Cheers
Reply:F*** the trolls! All they do is piss off people! :(
These jokes are great! xD
Have a star! *
Reply:LOL, they are all funny.
Thanks for posting.
Reply:idk ... i think im still tired i'll give u a star then come bac and read them later
Reply:Good clean humour is sometimes hard to find but never hard to enjoy. I appreciate your efforts and keep up the amusing work.
Reply:i loved them all !
Reply:well
There a tad pathetic
I didnt even laugh =/
Reply:Hahaha! the last one was ace!
Reply:Those are awesome!! Ha-ha! ...can..prevent...florist...friars!!! oh man I can't breathe!! LOL!!!
-Mel!
Reply:I like the last one best your jokes always make me smile thanks jake.
Reply:The last one was the best.
Reply:hahaha those are silly but very funny
I was reading a book...'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.
I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died.'"
Which of these are the best? puns intended, and are g rated?
1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my Electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. 'But why?', they asked, as they moved off. 'Because,' he said,' I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.'
7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to Spain , they name him 'Juan'; the other went to a family in Egypt and is named 'Ahmal.' Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, 'They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.'
8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to 'persuade' them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Which of these are the best? puns intended, and are g rated?
Very good.
why didn't the skeleton cross the road, he didn't have the guts.
Reply:hahahahahaha tooo funny and really liked ahmal. Report It
Reply:My fave is number 2.
I love puns! They're so punny!
Reply:i love number 8! it's funny, yet true.
Reply:Ok those were all great. I think that they got better as they went on. Thanks so much for making me laugh! I will send these to all of my friends.
Reply:I enjoyed them all...thanx for the giggle!
Reply:All of them are wonderful, I really like number 10, I never heard it before.
Reply:Dear asker
Hi
A waring !!!;
Kindly SEE%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;:
Fantastic !, even fancy, furthest realities ;
hence farewell!, either 's !?!!!!!!!!!!!,
SEE !, what you have/ had, made lost !? , near 's !?
Say !, Oh yeah !; - Try !!, to see the blue sky's , too!,
Merci
A77p.
Reply:# 3 is the funniest! LOL!
Reply:Number 9.
Reply:lol, wow, they're all so corny...out of these, i think 8. Watch this one though...
http://www.googoodolls.com/member/qanda/...
it's a Q%26amp;A that's not really a question...
"This one isn't really a question, and it's hard to explain. Just watch it.
sent by: dustyrose7"
(u may have to log in to the site)
Reply:LMAO!! My favourite ones are #2 and #9. Nice job!
Reply:ahha i'd have to say that they are all awesome!!! haha... well, i love 9 and 10, and 2 is pretty funny! LOL that made my day! thanks :]
[: *~dRuMmErGiRl~* :]
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my Electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. 'But why?', they asked, as they moved off. 'Because,' he said,' I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.'
7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to Spain , they name him 'Juan'; the other went to a family in Egypt and is named 'Ahmal.' Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, 'They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.'
8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to 'persuade' them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Which of these are the best? puns intended, and are g rated?
Very good.
why didn't the skeleton cross the road, he didn't have the guts.
Reply:hahahahahaha tooo funny and really liked ahmal. Report It
Reply:My fave is number 2.
I love puns! They're so punny!
Reply:i love number 8! it's funny, yet true.
Reply:Ok those were all great. I think that they got better as they went on. Thanks so much for making me laugh! I will send these to all of my friends.
Reply:I enjoyed them all...thanx for the giggle!
Reply:All of them are wonderful, I really like number 10, I never heard it before.
Reply:Dear asker
Hi
A waring !!!;
Kindly SEE%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;:
Fantastic !, even fancy, furthest realities ;
hence farewell!, either 's !?!!!!!!!!!!!,
SEE !, what you have/ had, made lost !? , near 's !?
Say !, Oh yeah !; - Try !!, to see the blue sky's , too!,
Merci
A77p.
Reply:# 3 is the funniest! LOL!
Reply:Number 9.
Reply:lol, wow, they're all so corny...out of these, i think 8. Watch this one though...
http://www.googoodolls.com/member/qanda/...
it's a Q%26amp;A that's not really a question...
"This one isn't really a question, and it's hard to explain. Just watch it.
sent by: dustyrose7"
(u may have to log in to the site)
Reply:LMAO!! My favourite ones are #2 and #9. Nice job!
Reply:ahha i'd have to say that they are all awesome!!! haha... well, i love 9 and 10, and 2 is pretty funny! LOL that made my day! thanks :]
[: *~dRuMmErGiRl~* :]
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