florist shop

Retail florist in January, WHY?

2011-11-18T20:40:00.002-08:00

isn't retail floristry in the uk depressing this time of the year. after the buzz of christmas, all you get are expencive wholesale flowers and few customers!. We dont even get any funeral orders as we are in a village that only gives money to charity (how selfish is that) I know valentines and mothers day is just around the corner, but then what till christmas again, a few weddings (when villagers are doing them half the price from home) some garden plants (when villagers are selling their own cuttings in their front gardens) and some mixed bunches ( when the fruit and veg and paper shop have cottened on and selling them at half price) what about silks? (the womens guild now sell them at stupid prices) When we started 3 years ago we were new and exciting, now every farmers wife and his 100 year mother are selling OUR ideas at a fraction of the price privatley. We are tied to the premisis for another 5 years and I love my job. (awarded the best in the county) what can I do to stay here

Retail florist in January, WHY?
All businesses such as yours will have competition from enthusiastic amateurs so you will have to start and think "outside of the box"

If you rely on your local community for support it looks like you might be in trouble. What about the following?

I presume you are interflora so can count on customers other than local?

Do you have a website where you can offer your services to a wider audience?

Can you do any local marketing yourself (ie flyers) in neighbouring villages or towns?

Can you widen your range of services to include (say) flower arranging courses?

Can you identify any large companies within close proximity of your shop who you may be able to interest with contract work - this could be very lucrative for you.

Is your shop big enough to section off so that you could sell something else in part of it?

What other needs do the village have which are currently unfulfilled by existing shops?

If you do nothing you will not survive in business

What do you think of my story No. 2?

2011-11-18T20:40:00.001-08:00

Philip the bee returns after a busy day's work at the florist's shop. "Hi honey, I'm home", he says happily.

"I want a divource", shouts his hairy battleaxe of a wife in return.

"Darling, has something been bugging you" he implores, his blurred eyesight compounded by the welling tears.

"You just bumble your way in here trailing pollen across my clean floor; that's it, I'll see the Queen tomorrow", Beryl droned waspishly through gnashing mandibles.

And so poor Philip's marriage came to an end; when word got out it caused quite a buzz around the hive. But it got worse; he was so badly stung by the legal costs that he had to sell his home and go live with dear old Ant Doris.

What do you think of my story No. 2?
Hi silkie, x

It's good, and has a happy ending, because --------------

Along came Alice with her waspish waist, and black lashes, who gets Philip out of a sticky situation.

Hive hot news for you says she, drone you worry anymore. Sting along with me and we'll pollinate galore, and bee happzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy

Yeah Yeah, I know, stick to Architecture!
Reply:I think it's a bit creepy - crawly back in to your hole and stop pestering us.

Seriously it's not bad - It must have given you a buzz to write something this funny.
Reply:Poor Philip - I'll look after him!
Reply:I liked this story better than the other one because it was so gritty %26amp; realistic. Don't worry about the spelling, we know it's hard to type with only three fingers on each hand.
Reply:Good i enjoyed this wee story well thought of. You might be onto something there. Keep up the good work.
Reply:It Bee a good one with a sting in the tail!!
Reply:if he,d cooked her a pollonaise sauce, he may have been able to keep her a bit longer. Never mind, marriages are usually fly by night these days. tell him to drink some red bull to give him wings and his hot line will be buzzing all summer long. xxxxx
Reply:we love em ! Keep em coming.

xx
Reply:learn to spell before you go back to writing
Reply:Very good! Hive been chuckling ever since I read it!
Reply:nice story, cant wait for another.
Reply:i like that story its cool keep them coming.

mens leather boots

Is this sentence right? i need 35 words description of my shop?

2011-11-18T20:40:00.000-08:00

For one of the most memorable events in your life, Sunflower Florist makes your wedding day unforgettable by creating elegant looks for bouquets and flowers for ceremony, reception and bridal party

Is this sentence right? i need 35 words description of my shop?
Not quite switch it to

For one of the most memorable moments in your life Sunflower Florist makes your wedding day unforgettable by creating elegant looks for the bouquets and flowers for your ceremony, reception and bridal party.

It flows more

What would you do if an employer took advantage of you?

2011-11-18T20:39:00.006-08:00

I have worked for several florists and have a associates degree in floriculture. When I came to town, I got a job as a florist. I was new %26amp; they wouldn't listen to any of my background training, opting to use the advice of girls that "learned on the job".

I was given a chance to move to another shop in town. The entire group of girls quit that florist and moved along with me. The nice thing, was that here, I was given more respect %26amp; was often the first consulted on problems. I was the wedding %26amp; funeral specialist %26amp; the only one that could tie a pretty bow (not trying to brag...just being realistic).

Well, I had problems with one of the women who I have found out was a back stabber, %26amp; I let the employer know that i was going to quit if it didn't stop. She gave everyone all of the ____ work to do %26amp; sat around talking on the phone. Come to find out, she was a long time friend of the employer. I quit. Now they are talking badly about me. How can I save my reputation?

What would you do if an employer took advantage of you?
If you found on your own that this woman is a back stabber, then I'm sure everyone else knows her true nature. It's always best to leave people like that alone because they ultimately hang themselves in the end. They are the products of their own undoing and they always get their just penalty.

Do not concern yourself about what this kind of trash says about you. You have moved on. Eventually, the owner may come to realize that her business has suffered due to the loss of your expertise and hopefully will assign the blame where it belongs. Just remember one thing, many long lasting friendships have died due to money. Don't be surprised if the employer gives the longtime friend the boot.
Reply:nothing cuz i was in my own personal h*ll at the time
Reply:If they've done this to you, they've done it to other people. Just get a job somewhere else and don't worry about what they say. If you're asked what happened, be honest. I'm sure you're not the only one who knows that this employer plays favorites with her lazy friend.

The next time a situation like this comes up, however, think twice about quitting...I did the same thing last summer and regret leaving that job now because the employee who was causing me grief isn't there anymore.
Reply:two words: straight razor.

Home-based or retail shop?

2011-11-18T20:39:00.005-08:00

I have a home-based florals business (i am the florist). Should i do retail to get more business? please give me your opinnion as a customer. Thanks

Home-based or retail shop?
If you get a lot of foot traffic, it is better to have a retail shop. But if most of your orders are coming via web (being part of syndicate), you do not need to spend money in renting a shop.

Another option is to expand your house (if possible) and that can be your retail shop, you will have one of the shortest commute.

HELPPP!!!! Need Ideas For An SAE!!!?

2011-11-18T20:39:00.004-08:00

OK.....I have an SAE due on May 16, 2008 and i change my idea twice and i dont have any more ideas for my Supervised Agricultual Experience(SAE)....please help me! I wanted to get a job at florist shop cuz i like flowers n stuff but if i get the job i wont be in my state May 3rd to the 10th n if i get the job i dont want to be asking to take off work wen i just started! so pleaseeee give me some answers....i dont kno what to do! = (

HELPPP!!!! Need Ideas For An SAE!!!?
you could work at a store in the dairy department or you could grow garden vegies and sell them somewhere.. work at a farm.. their are really lots of options, take the florist job, im sure they wouldnt mind you missing some days

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This story will make you cry Red Roses were her favorite.?

2011-11-18T20:39:00.003-08:00

Roses for Rose

Red roses were her favorites; her name was also Rose,

And every year her husband sent them tied with pretty bows.

The year he died the roses were delivered to her door,

The card said "Be My Valentine" like all the years before.

Each year he sent her roses and the note would always say,

"I love you even more this year than last year on this day,

My love for you will always grow with every passing year,"

She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear.

She thought he ordered roses in advance before this day,

Her loving husband did not know that he would pass away.

He always liked to do things early way before the time,

Then if he got too busy everything would work out fine.

She trimmed the stems and placed them in a very special vase,

Then sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face.

She would sit for hours in her husband's favorite chair,

While staring at his picture and the roses sitting there.

A year went by and it was hard to live without her mate,

With loneliness and solitude that had become her fate.

Then the very hour as on Valentines before,

The doorbell rang and there were roses sitting by her door.

She brought the roses in and then just looked at them in shock,

Then went to get the telephone to call the florist shop.

The owner answered and she asked him if he would explain,

Why would someone do this to her causing her such pain?

"I know your husband passed away more than a year ago,"

The owner said, "I knew you'd call and you would want to know."

"The flowers you received today were paid for in advance,

Your husband always planned ahead he left nothing to chance."

"There is a standing order that I have on file down here,

And he has paid well in advance you'll get them every year."

"There also is another thing that I think you should know,

He wrote a special little card he did this years ago."

"Then should ever I find out that he's no longer here,

That's the card that should be sent to you the following year."

She thanked him and hung up the phone her tears now flowing hard,

Her fingers shaking as she slowly reached to get the card.

Inside the card she saw that he had written her a note,

Then as she stared in total silence this is what he wrote.

Hello my love I know it's been a year since I've been gone,

I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome.

I know it must be lonely and the pain is very real,

For if it was the other way I know how I would feel.

The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life,

I loved you more than words can say you were the perfect wife.

You were my friend and lover you fulfilled my every need,

I know it's only been a year but please try not to grieve.

I want you to be happy even when you shed your tears,

That is why the roses will be sent to you for years.

When you get these roses think of all the happiness,

That we had together and how both of us were blessed.

I have always loved you and I know I always will,

But my love you must go on you have some living still.

Please try to find happiness while living out your days,

I know it is not easy but I hope you find some ways.

The roses will come every year and they will only stop,

When your door's not answered when the florist stops to knock.

He will come five times that day in case you have gone out,

But after his last visit he will know without a doubt,

To take the roses to the place where I've instructed him,

And place the roses where we are together once again.

This story will make you cry Red Roses were her favorite.?
You are right...this did bring tears to my eyes. Thanks for sharing.
Reply:wonderful, touching, a gem. . I will file this away for future use.
Reply:In answering you, I didn't cry. I don't have to, I have a love like that, and I wish each of you out there the same. I never dreamed I could love and be loved is such a special way. We work at our love and it's why it has lasted. So those of you who are having doubts or problems don't give up roll up your sleeves and get to work.
Reply:Beautiful, I'm too teary to write
Reply:I had to wait till i could see to tell you this is a love like no other.Thank you for reminding me what i have.
Reply:Lovely.

Sniiiiiiiiffff @@ dabs eyes
Reply:I was lucky. I married once, for life. It hasn't always been easy, but it's always been worth the effort. We've been together 36yrs and , yes, I'd marry him again today!!!

What do you think of Saudi Arabia banning the color red?

2011-11-18T20:39:00.002-08:00

Saudi Arabia has asked florists and gift shops to remove all red items until after Valentine's Day, calling the celebration of such a holiday a sin, local media reported Monday.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/meast/02/1...

What do you think of Saudi Arabia banning the color red?
we had a very interesting question just on that today..!! i think its nuts and so unfair on the women...they should feel alittle pampered tooo for once....i dont think celebrating valentines would take or add to anyones culture or religion..its just a day to love and be loved...whats so wrong about that!!

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...
Reply:The average Saudi Arabian has no say what so ever in their own country . They are too scared to do anything to get rid of the ruling Royal family . So they conform told when,where and what to do in their daily lives.How humiliating and boring life must be .
Reply:I think that this is not of your business.

Let me ask you a question

We have a holiday called "Aladha". In this holiday we usually bring sheep to our yards and slaughter the sheep.

Will Americans accept this?

NO!!

This is a cultural difference.

We don't celebrate Valentines day..
Reply:Honestly, I do not waste a thought of it. Valentine's day is an American thing. If Americans need a special day to show their love to somebody, well.................

I much more apreciate it if my husband shows his love to me every day.

Btw: in the West it is comon that boy- and girl friends exchange cards, flowers and gifts. These kind of relationships you will not find in a strict Islamic country. What is the purpose for intertrucing it?

If you would be a cosmopilitian person, you also would recognize that "Valentine" is also critizied in India (not by Muslims). Why did you pick KSA?

Salam.

edit oh, honey: since when Valentine's is a Christian holiday???????????

Bein an Expat working in KSA, are you not getting Islamic holidays off without being a Muslim?
Reply:yes, I actually asked a question about that myself this morning. it's so sad!
Reply:a little over board.

banning a colour,

ban the holiday not a colour,

and what about pink, shouldn't that be banned too,

and little stuffed bears and other animals, and candy and other such stuff.

the holiday itself should be what's banned not one colour assosiated with it. (not that i agree with the banning, but understand why)

i didn't get to read the artical, for what ever reason i couldn't get the site to come up, i really think it is just me, the computer i am using is weird.
Reply:I think it is a ridiculous waste of time and attention. The more they try to control people the more people will obsess on the forbidden.

It is a sad state of affairs. There are starving kids , health problems and all sorts of important issues and they focus on the moral effects of the color red.
Reply:When in Rome,

do as the Romans.

The same applies here.
Reply:Banning red is only until after Valentine's Day. It is to encourage Muslims everywhere to not participate in a pagan holiday.

~~

This is from a blog by Alan Stewart Carl, but it is a clip from a CNN report.

It’s an attempt to squash Valentine’s day celebrations. Sheikh Khaled Al-Dossari, a scholar in Islamic studies, told the Saudi Gazette, an English-language newspaper:

"As Muslims we shouldn't celebrate a non-Muslim celebration, especially this one that encourages immoral relations between unmarried men and women, ".

And don’t forget it encourages the consuming of nasty little candy hearts and stale chocolate. And flora-cide –- Valentine’s day is the leading cause of flower murder in the world. I don’t know why we all don’t ban it. In fact, I know a lot of American men who would be just fine with such a regulation.

~~~~

I think -- no big deal.
Reply:it is normal for a conservative islamic country not to allow celebrating a christian holy day.it is sad for the foreigners and also for the saudi women ,who just open their eyes and seen the western life,and they like it.......

the saudi shouldn't complain.they got use to it.as i said,is normal

banning all things red coloured,doesn't make a big difference,actually.ppl who are in love or,just like someone,will find a solution...other colour!the favorite,one!

btw :h ...i am not an expatriate.i don't care much about holydays.but i agree with the customs in saudi.i don't complain as a foreigner

You have to read this.. coz... it is absolutely beautiful......?

2011-11-18T20:39:00.001-08:00

Each year he sent her roses,

and the note would always say,

I love you even more this year,

than last year on this day.

My love for you will always grow,

with every passing year."

She knew this was the last time

that the roses would appear.

She thought, he ordered roses

in advance before this day.

Her loving husband did not know,

that he would pass away.

He always liked to do things early,

way before the time.

Then, if he got too busy,

everything would work out fine.

She trimmed the stems and

placed them in a very special vase.

Then, sat the vase beside

the portrait of his smiling face.

She would sit for hours,

In her husband's favorite chair.

While staring at his picture,

and the roses sitting there.

A year went by, and it was

to live without her mate.

With loneliness and solitude,

that had become her fate.

Then, the very hour,

The doorbell rang, and there

were roses sitting by her door.

She brought the roses in,

and then just looked at them in shock.

Then, went to get the telephone,

to call the florist shop.

The owner answered, and she asked him,

if he would explain, Why would someone would

do this to her, causing her such pain?

"I know your husband passed away,

more than a year ago,"

The owner said,

"I knew you'd call, and you would want to know.

The flowers you received today,

were paid for in advance.

Your husband always planned ahead,

he left nothing to chance.

There is a standing order,

that I have on file down here,

And he has paid, well in advance,

you'll get them every year.

There also is another thing,

that I think you should know,

He wrote a special little card...he did this years ago.

Then, should ever I find out that he's no longer here, that's the card that should be sent to you

the following year."

She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard.

Her fingers shaking,

as she slowly reached to get the card.

Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note.

Then, as she stared in total silence,

this is what he wrote...

"Hello my love, I know it's been a year

since I've been gone.

I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome.

I know it must be lonely,

and the pain is very real.

Or if it was the other way,

I know how I would feel.

The love we shared made everything

so beautiful in life.

I loved you more than words can say,

you were the perfect wife.

You were my friend and lover,

you fulfilled my every need.

I know it's only been a year,

but please try not to grieve.

I want you to be happy,

even when you shed your tears.

That is why the roses will be sent to you for years.

When you get these roses,

think of all the happiness that we had together,

and how both of us were blessed.

I have always loved you and

I know I always will.

But, my love, you must go on,

you have some living still.

Please...try to find happiness,

while living out your days.

I know it is not easy,

but I hope you find some ways.

The roses will come every year,

and they will only stop,

When your door's not answered,

when the florist stops to knock.

He will come five times that day,

in case you have gone out.

But after his last visit,

he will know without a doubt!

To take the roses to the place,

where I've instructed him

and place the roses where we are,

together once again.

Sometimes in life, you find a special one...;

Someone who changes your life

just by being part of it.

Someone who makes you laugh

until you can't stop;

Someone who makes you believe

that there really is good in the world.

Someone who convinces you

that there really is an unlocked door

just waiting for 'you' to open it.

You have to read this.. coz... it is absolutely beautiful......?
*tear tear*
Reply:Very Beautiful this story is almost told in a form of poem called a couplet very wonderful story sad happy and a mixture of feelings that is so sweet what her husband does for her thank you for sharing it
Reply:It was too long to read so i just opted for the 2 points. xD
Reply:Absolutely beautiful. Thank you. X%26amp;O
Reply:this is sooooooo BEAUTIFUL

i love it
Reply:VERY BEAUTIFUL ..........can u wipe my trears......... :(
Reply:Omg that was so nice I got goose bumps!
Reply:let me dry my eyes so i can type. i wish i could find a love like that. wow how beautiful.
Reply:awsome
Reply:Yeah a tad long , but ok , not much rhyming or keeping it in sinc but ya did ok .

I'd trim it up a bit so next time we're not going cross eyed by the 5th paragraph , keep up the good work.
Reply:awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww how beautiful!!!!
Reply:I think its really happened to you, and you just want open the door wish someone will have a look inside...? GBU

Simple Interest PLEASE:)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

2011-11-18T20:39:00.000-08:00

Jennifer Kerber borrows $10,450 from her bank to open a florist shop. She agrees to repay the money in 18 months with simple interest of 10.4%

(a) How much must she pay the bank in 18 months?

(b) How much of the amount in part (a) is interest?.

Simple Interest PLEASE:)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
She'll pay $629.52 a month, times 18 months, so that's $11,331.36 of which $881.36 is interest.... I think!!

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Do you Love Flowers? Especially Roses? You'll enjoy this!?

2011-11-18T20:38:00.007-08:00

This woman and her husband have this really bad fight. He goes off to work the next day without talking to her, but she doesn't care.

She's busy doing her thing around the house. All of the sudden, around 1:00 in the afternoon, the doorbell rings. She goes to the door and opens it and there is a young delivery guy from the local florist shop with an enormous, beautiful bouquet of long-stemmed red roses...the expensive ones...from her husband.

She says to the delivery guy with disgust, "Oh CRAP!"

The delivery guy says, "What's a matter lady? You don't like roses?"

She replies, "Yeah, I like roses, but do you know what this means?"

He says, "No, Lady, what does this mean?"

She answers, "It means for the next two weeks I'll be laying on my back with my legs in the air."

He replies, "Geez, Lady, don't you have a vase?"

Do you Love Flowers? Especially Roses? You'll enjoy this!?
That is awesome! I love roses, but even I wouldn't keep them there just to save them....they have thorns!!!!
Reply:love it :) :) :)
Reply:Good joke!!

"Tara", you can't be serious, can you????
Reply:ok... thats weird

Another Blonde joke?

2011-11-18T20:38:00.006-08:00

A Brunette and a Blonde are walking through the mall. The Brunette says "My God I hope my boyfriend is not in that florist shop buying me flowers." "Why not?" asks the Blonde. "Because every time he buys me flowers, I spend the next week with my legs in the air", says the Brunette. "Why is that", asks the Blonde, don't you have any vases?"

Another Blonde joke?
HA HA DONT YOU HAVE ANY VASES HAAAAA 10/10
Reply:HAHAHAHA i get it
Reply:LOL
Reply:2 pnts
Reply:sooo funny
Reply:good one (lol)!
Reply:It's really not that funny. But thank you for the 2 points.
Reply:Ha ha
Reply:Ha Ha! Funny!
Reply:ok i get lol this one actually made me laugh
Reply:just okay...
Reply:Now that was funny.
Reply:lol

Do you think she is hot & sexy? Get ready to Laugh!?

2011-11-18T20:38:00.005-08:00

This woman and her husband have this really bad fight. He goes off to work the next day without talking to her, but she doesn't care.

She's busy doing her thing around the house. All of the sudden, around 1:00 in the afternoon, the doorbell rings. She goes to the door and opens it and there is a young delivery guy from the local florist shop with an enormous, beautiful bouquet of long-stemmed red roses...the expensive ones...from her husband.

She says to the delivery guy with disgust, "Oh CRAP!"

The delivery guy says, "What's a matter lady? You don't like roses?"

She replies, "Yeah, I like roses, but do you know what this means?"

He says, "No, Lady, what does this mean?"

She answers, "It means for the next two weeks I'll be laying on my back with my legs in the air."

He replies, "Geez, Lady, don't you have a vase?"

Do you think she is hot %26amp; sexy? Get ready to Laugh!?
Computer $1,000

Internet $25.99

Jokes from Citizen..PRICELESS
Reply:ha ha ha

so funny

yeah, she hot %26amp; sexy
Reply:Great joke, but again it's a repeat of yours. :) Are you finally running out of jokes?? Just teasing.
Reply:LMAO!! That is a great joke!
Reply:Very funny..... I needed a good laugh...
Reply:Haaaa haaa

That was awesome

where did you get it from

Lovely

10/10

A 21st Century Marriage?

2011-11-18T20:38:00.004-08:00

I stopped at a florist shop after work to pick up roses for my wife. As the clerk was putting the finishing touches on the bouquet, a young man burst through the door, breathlessly requesting a dozen red roses.

"I'm sorry," the clerk said. "This man just ordered our last bunch." The desperate customer turned to me and begged, "May I please have those roses?"

"What happened?" I asked. "Did you forget your wedding anniversary?"

"It's even worse than that," he confided. "I crashed my wife's hard drive!"

A 21st Century Marriage?
haha!! better make it 10 dozen, after all it was a hard drive!!☺
Reply:thats the best joke I 've ever heard . Where do you get them?
Reply:hahaha, 10/10, star, brilliant.
Reply:now THAT'S funny!! i love it!
Reply:hum spose flowers good aplology
Reply:That's gotta be the funniest joke ever.
Reply:that is really funny, i am giving you a star
Reply:You are definitely going to need roses, good luck.

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What is the flower process?

2011-11-18T20:38:00.003-08:00

I need to know the steps taken from planting flowers in a flower farm, to shipping them off to a florist, flower prep, and setting them out to be bought in the shop.

What is the flower process?
Okay Angel, trot on down to the book store and cruise through the horticulture section. Maybe the library is a good idea too. Look up floriculture on the web. All the steps are there for you. Cheers

Good Blonde Joke?

2011-11-18T20:38:00.002-08:00

A blonde and a redhead are walking down the street when the redhead sees her boyfriend in the distance going into a florist shop. She says to the blonde, "I love getting flowers, but there's always an expectation that goes with it, I'll probably spend all weekend with my legs in the air."

The blonde looks at her sideways for a moment and finally says, "why, don't you have a vase?

Good Blonde Joke?
Ha Ha... I'll tell that one to my blonde headed boss...
Reply:Funny! You get a star.
Reply:i have already heard that 1...lol
Reply:good one!

A blonde goes into work and her male coworker says,"I don't feel like working today. I am going to pretend I am crazy to go home." He climbs up onto the rafters and hangs down by his knees. Their supervisor comes in and says, "What are you doing up there?" The man says, "I am a light bulb!" The supervisor says, "Get down and go home, you nut!" After the man climbs down and leaves, the blonde goes to her desk, gets her coat and starts to leave. The supervisor says, "Where do you think you are going?" The blonde says, "You don't expect me to work in the dark, do you?"
Reply:yeah that's okay
Reply:omg haha
Reply:Hahaha, I choked on my ice I was laughing so much :D
Reply:good one never heard it before
Reply:nahh
Reply:good one mate...classic
Reply:Not bad.
Reply:it was ok
Reply:gross, . . . yet funny.
Reply:pretty good.

a blonde driving alone in a car is stopped at a red light. she looks out the side and sees another blonde sitting on the sidewalk paddling an imaginary canoe. the one in the car says, "hey you moron, its people like you that give us a bad name, if i could swim i'd go over there and kick your a**".
Reply:LOL. The blonde is naive.
Reply:lmao. That wuz funny :)
Reply:Not really. I didn't like the joke.
Reply:good one
Reply:haha, that stupid blonde. very funny.
Reply:dirty and stupid but good. i like it i was brilliant

Another blonde joke?

2011-11-18T20:38:00.001-08:00

A blonde %26amp; brunette are walking down the road when a man comes out of a florist shop holding a bunch of flowers. "Oh No" says the brunette, "I hope my husband doesnt bring me another bunch of flowers tonight". The blonde turns ands asks "Why not?" "Because it means I will be flat on my back with my legs in the air again" replies the brunette. After a minute the blonde asks "Dont you have any vases?"

Another blonde joke?
lolz....good one...here's one for you

Here's a blonde joke for u

Three salesmen were bragging who is the best.

The first said, that he is so good he sold a color television to a blind

man.

The second bragged he sold a HI-FI stereo system to a deaf man.

The third said he sold a Cuckoo clock to a blonde lady.

The other two said, so what?

The third salesman added, along with the

Cuckoo clock, I also sold her one hundred pounds of bird seeds!!!!!

CHeeRioS
Reply:heard that one before but still a good one
Reply:lol
Reply:lol!!!!!!!!!!!! good 1
Reply:lol hahahahaha. that's a smashing joke. thank you.a star for you.
Reply:LMAO!!!
Reply:lol! XD star for you!
Reply:**** you!!! not all blondes are dumb! **** you
Reply:ahahahahahaha!! Nice,

thats something my clueless friends would say,

*stars*
Reply:8/10
Reply:good
Reply:HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *STAR*

How do i do this??

2011-11-18T20:38:00.000-08:00

i hav a advertisement tat i wana post in the net.. how do i do tat??? help me pls...

Coz my bro in law has start up a Florist shop in Singapore.. and the prices are reali reasonalble.. 99 Roses at $290 with delivery Charges included... btw.. Any Singaporeans wana order??? i shall put the contact number now..

How do i do this??
this is not a place for advertising

mobile

Which of these is funny?

2011-11-18T20:37:00.007-08:00

Before I post...someone I blocked on here because he stated where is the ******* question you *******, contacted Yahoo. so Yahoo deleted 2 of my questions saying that they were not questions....so I may start each "Question" with a "Question"...

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to

Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed

behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much.

The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser

of two weevils.

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West

He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking

for the man who shot my paw."

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his

dentist's Novocain during root canal work? He wanted

to transcend dental medication.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel

and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent

tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager

came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting

in an open foyer."

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun

contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope

that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

A woman had twins, and gave them up for adoption.

One of them went to a family in Egypt and was named

"Amal." The other went to a family in Spain, and they

named him "Juan." Years later, Juan sent a picture

of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she

told her husband that she wished she also had a

picture of Amal. Her husband responded, "But they are

twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

And the worst of the bunch:

These friars were behind on their belfry

payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to

raise the money. Everyone liked to buy flowers from

the men of God, but the rival florist across town

thought the competition was unfair. He asked the

good fathers to close down, but they would not. He

went back and begged the friars to close. They

ignored him. He asked his mother to go and ask the

friars to get out of business. They ignored her too.

So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the

roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade"

them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed

their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close

their shop. Terrified, they did so - thereby proving

(are you ready for this?!)

that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

**************************************...

The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the

older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a

couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the

confessional for a few suggestions.

The old priest suggests, "Cross you arms over your chest, and rub

your chin with one hand." The new priest tries this. The old priest

suggests, "Try saying things like, 'I see, yes, go on', and

"I understand. How did you feel about that?"

The new priest says those things. The old priest says, "Now,

don't you think that's a little better than slapping your

knee and saying 'No ****?!? What happened next

Which of these is funny?
I like all of your jokes and I think it's pitiful that some people have nothing better to do than report others for having a little innocent fun.
Reply:rotfl oh man thats bad
Reply:Eh. . .can you say lame-O. . .but I suppose it's because these jokes involve puns. . .the only one that gave me a chuckle was the florist friars one because it's so lame that it's actually funny
Reply:Good ones there!!

10/10

Star on its way!! *
Reply:hahahaha, those were pretty good!
Reply:they are all funny. i had a joke that got deleted yesterday for the same reason. i've changed the way i put it on here now. go to my questions and check it out!!
Reply:Thanks so much! I read these with my morning coffee and you have started my day very well. And to think that I was going to read the newspaper, full of sad and upsetting things. I am glad I came here first. I especially liked the "looking for the man who shot my paw", but they were all funny.

Thanks again,

Cheers
Reply:F*** the trolls! All they do is piss off people! :(

These jokes are great! xD

Have a star! *
Reply:LOL, they are all funny.

Thanks for posting.
Reply:idk ... i think im still tired i'll give u a star then come bac and read them later
Reply:Good clean humour is sometimes hard to find but never hard to enjoy. I appreciate your efforts and keep up the amusing work.
Reply:i loved them all !
Reply:well

There a tad pathetic

I didnt even laugh =/
Reply:Hahaha! the last one was ace!
Reply:Those are awesome!! Ha-ha! ...can..prevent...florist...friars!!! oh man I can't breathe!! LOL!!!

-Mel!
Reply:I like the last one best your jokes always make me smile thanks jake.
Reply:The last one was the best.
Reply:hahaha those are silly but very funny

I was reading a book...'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.

I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died.'"

Which of these are the best? puns intended, and are g rated?

2011-11-18T20:37:00.006-08:00

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my Electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. 'But why?', they asked, as they moved off. 'Because,' he said,' I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.'

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to Spain , they name him 'Juan'; the other went to a family in Egypt and is named 'Ahmal.' Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, 'They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.'

8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to 'persuade' them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Which of these are the best? puns intended, and are g rated?
Very good.

why didn't the skeleton cross the road, he didn't have the guts.
Reply:hahahahahaha tooo funny and really liked ahmal. Report It

Reply:My fave is number 2.

I love puns! They're so punny!
Reply:i love number 8! it's funny, yet true.
Reply:Ok those were all great. I think that they got better as they went on. Thanks so much for making me laugh! I will send these to all of my friends.
Reply:I enjoyed them all...thanx for the giggle!
Reply:All of them are wonderful, I really like number 10, I never heard it before.
Reply:Dear asker

Hi

A waring !!!;

Kindly SEE%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;:

Fantastic !, even fancy, furthest realities ;

hence farewell!, either 's !?!!!!!!!!!!!,

SEE !, what you have/ had, made lost !? , near 's !?

Say !, Oh yeah !; - Try !!, to see the blue sky's , too!,

Merci

A77p.
Reply:# 3 is the funniest! LOL!
Reply:Number 9.
Reply:lol, wow, they're all so corny...out of these, i think 8. Watch this one though...

http://www.googoodolls.com/member/qanda/...

it's a Q%26amp;A that's not really a question...

"This one isn't really a question, and it's hard to explain. Just watch it.

sent by: dustyrose7"

(u may have to log in to the site)
Reply:LMAO!! My favourite ones are #2 and #9. Nice job!
Reply:ahha i'd have to say that they are all awesome!!! haha... well, i love 9 and 10, and 2 is pretty funny! LOL that made my day! thanks :]

[: *~dRuMmErGiRl~* :]

What do you think of this joke?

2011-11-18T20:37:00.005-08:00

Some friars were behind on their belfry payments, so

they opened up a small florist shop to raise the funds.

Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of

God, the rival florist across town thought the competition

was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but

they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close.

They ignored him. He asked his mother to go and ask the

friars to get out of business. They ignored her, too.

So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest

and most vicious thug in town, to "persuade" them to close.

Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd

be back if they didn't close shop. Terrified, the friars did so,

thereby proving that . . .

Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

What do you think of this joke?
LOL. I really like it!

I love playing with words ... puns... LOL.

Thanks for the laughs. I wish you a great day!
Reply:Not that funny. Sorry.
Reply:ha ha ha

witty--but dont expect a big laugh out of a crowd

but i lyk it!

hav a star
Reply:kind of pathetic...
Reply:I lol'd at this joke.

Quite witty.
Reply:nope.. not funny... and i've heard of it (well, read it actually) in Y!answers like one or two nights ago...

really sorry for spoiling ur fun...
Reply:Funny, but now Hugh is doomed to go to hell!
Reply:I guess that its kind of funny.
Reply:that was funny in a really, really stupid way

Behind on their belfry payments????

2011-11-18T20:37:00.004-08:00

A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

Behind on their belfry payments????
(*)

Hihihihihi!!!!!

Big kiss my casse-neurones!!!!
Reply:I love these wordplay jokes. Keep them up. :D
Reply:was this supposed to be funny?
Reply:vry good
Reply:(*)
Reply:forest fires?

ohhh....nvm this is really good actually xD
Reply:only you can prevent forest fires, hahaha

platform flip flops

Help me with today's Jumble Puzzle!?

2011-11-18T20:37:00.003-08:00

The question is:

Shared by a flower stem and a florist shop.

The letters are:

PATNERSOPMUS

_ _ _ _ _ OF

_ _ _ _ _ _ _

I have tried all morning and come up with nothing! It's driving me crazy.

Help me with today's Jumble Puzzle!?
um... i dont no.
Reply:ok then dont worry its just a question. no need to waste five points over it
Reply:Something of Partner???

I really dont know this one
Reply:The answer is....

A Means of Support
Reply:I'm actually doing that one right now and still stuck on it =(
Reply:Means of Support....i work at a sports bar and the guys spendt all day working on it...we found it online :)
Reply:MEANS of SUPPORT
Reply:stems of partne
Reply:The answer is in the answer stream.I think its rather ******** myself.I spent a couple hours on it myself,on a cross country flight.I don't recall a tougher solution.

ANYONE WHO CAN HELp????????????????????

2011-11-18T20:37:00.002-08:00

hi there! i have a small florist shop and i wish to do some marketting for my special wedding floral arrangements as well as all occasion bouquets of fresh and dried flowers ...my budget is low . can anyone guide me so as to how do i go about it??

ANYONE WHO CAN HELp????????????????????
First of all, you have to have pictures. Customers want to see what kind of work that your shop is capable of doing.

Only emphasize the best of the best that you have. Our shop used a digital camera and printer to create a brochure for new brides. We then placed an ad in our local traders guide, newspaper, and radio station asking the bride to stop by the shop for a complimentary rose. We gave them the brochure and were able to have some 1 on 1 time with them.

We also gave brides who participated in this way, a 5% discount on their wedding.

Word of mouth is by far the best way to get wedding work....so do more than you are asked to do, price your wedding competitively and you will be busier than you ever thought might be possible.
Reply:take pictures of your arrangements, and have them blown up for displays in your windows, or for flyers to give each customer when visiting your shop, or make them binder size and [with plastic sheet protectors] for customers to look at for ideas...the more pictures the better. [ a good way to set up for picture to be taken is to use a black velvet clothe or another color will be nice.
Reply:The best way on a budget is to join your Chamber of Commerce. In most cases, your membership gives you a monthly ad in the news letters/ catalogs they send out. You can also print flyer's from your PC, you can save in the long run doing them yourself. Save your old ink cartridges, take them to Office Max and get free paper for doing so, and make more flyer's. You can also get ink cartridges on E-bay really really cheap.... Best of Luck....
Reply:Vistaprint.com is a great place to get some low cost brochures or flyers made up. They have templates but you can upload your own photos of your arrangements. You can distribute those yourself or have them put into the local newspaper. Do you have a website?

Web hosting?

2011-11-18T20:37:00.001-08:00

hello there,

I am building an online florist shop and looking for a free or very cheap web hosting company to use, any ideas?

thank you

Web hosting?
All the good ones aren't free.

Mr Site is a good place, you get a load of email inboxes and the ability to have a shop/paypal mechanism for £35 a year.

The Mr. Site website: http://www.mrsite.com/

An example of a site made with Mr. Site: http://www.noe-version-2.co.uk/
Reply:If you are building a business site it helps to have someone that can host it and help with development too. And if you really want your bandwith to be reliable you shouldn't go with a free service that can get cut off for no reason.

I switched to ITS Hosting about 6 months ago and have been very happy with them. They are also great about calling them for questions and development help.
Reply:Free sites are not professional and will take away from the image you are creating.

I have used different hosting packages and I always would say pick one that has good customer service especially if your like me and not have great internet knowledge.

I recommend www.oneandone.co.uk or www.hostgator.com

Both of these great customer services with oneandone great for telephone service
Reply:Finding a good internet web hosting service provider could mean success or failure to your online business.

Picking the web hosting provider. Most important is that your provider has a good support system in place, if you need it or have any problems. If you are just starting off make sure that there is at least a 30 money back guarantee. You should have access to an online help area with commonly asked questions and videos. You should also be able to open a ticket for help in this area.

Does the hosting provider gives you access to a control panel? Cheap website hosting doesn't always give you access to the guts of your website. This is the place where you are in control of everything.

Since 1999 I've had several websites online and have paid between $5 a month to $30 searching for the best deal possible for my money. I even traded a domain name for a year of web site hosting, that didn't work out either. The problem with that web host provider was I only had 1 email address and no front page extensions. I have used Host 4 Profit and Third Sphere which are good hosting companies but a bit to pricey. Both were about $25 a month. I have tried Yahoo hosting and that did not give me the freedom and versatility I was looking for, for about $19 a month.

Free is not always free, So be careful which hosting provider you choose
Reply:To start a internet biz,your cant just simple use any webhosting services that cheap or free.Because cheap and free webhosting will be provide good services to u.I have experience before with using cheap hosting.Their provide really suck hosting services(mesrahosting.net).I have experience 2 days with email server down.I unable to receive email at 2 days.I lost a lot of order or profit.If your start biz,be serious and prepare.U may can save few dollar or hundred dollor but your will loss more value or money at future.The important thing at webhosting is support.Can a free webhosting provide good support to u while their dont earn any profit from u?The answer is no.I recomemded your using webhosting company that i used for one years.Their provide affordable price and good support.It is only USD$95 per years with 2 free domain name(support 8 domains) and 500gb space storage.For more detail,please go following link.

http://www.joininternet.com/product.php?...
Reply:Good ones are not Free, although there are some good ones that are cheap. Give www.webhostedcheap.com a try! Plans start at only $4/month and all plans come with free domain registrations, and free bonuses including scripts and a lot more. I've nevered had an issue. :) good luck
Reply:I use aplus.net, it's not expensive at all. For a business plan, I paid less than $100/yr. Their customer service is 24/7, online and on the phone. Plus, you can create your own website for free. I'm not very computer savvy but I was able to make my own website because their "do it yourself" feature is very easy to maneuver.

Do not go with the cheapest one out there either, usually, when you require customer service, you have to wait forever. I used startlogic the first time, trying to save a couple of bucks and boy, it wasn't worth it. I waited 2 hours (no kidding) for a customer service person to talk to me online. I cancelled the same day.

Stay away from free sites if you want your website to look professional.
Reply:Hi,

I would recommend IX webhosting.It's very cheap and very reliable.Check it out here:

http://top50webhosting.ez-mart.biz/
Reply:I recommend checking out Bluehost. They have one of the best services I've found out there with great customer support: http://www.bluehost.com/track/bretsallee...
Reply:try http://www.megadealhosting.com they are a small company that I use for my web hosting. Their overall service especially their support is fantastic and they had me up and running in a matter of minutes. they also gave me free web hosting software to design my site and some free templates too.

I had a problem which i caused myself and they sorted it our free of charge within 30 minutes.. hows that!!

And most of all I pay just 99p per month. (even cheaper if you pay yearly).

But the best thing is they talk to you in plain english. They are great... and no i don't work for them LOL

They really will help you.
Reply:Is not a easy job to find the right web host.Try http://searchhosts.net and you will find all the top web hosting deals with ratings on one website and all so free advertising credit to promote your business.
Reply:If this is for a professional business stay away from free hosting. What if they decide to fold, then you have no website and your business suffers. Web hosting can be as little as $4 a month. Take a look at http://www.whackahost.com they have lots of web hosting reviews and will answer any questions you have on a one to one basis and point you to a host that will fit your needs.

Hope this helps
Reply:When i was looking for a free website, you should type in free websites within your search engine. And when you look for a cheap website. You should type in cheap websites within your search engine. Then do your homework on websites. By reading word for word what their site is all about. From doing your research by making sure that they are 100% real by having want you want. Without any unexpected nasty surprises from either of them.

Good luck
Reply:www.geocities.com

www.bravenet.com
Reply:You might want to think about what type of web hosting you need and how you are going to use it. Have a look at this article it gives you some basic points to consider.

http://clickdigitalproducts.com/web-host...
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I Love her..want to Send flowers to her!?

2011-11-18T20:37:00.000-08:00

Does anyone know of a good florist shop in birmingham city centre,or handsworth that does deliveries too.

And that will keep my name hidden.because im a secret admirer

I Love her..want to Send flowers to her!?
proflowers.com

or 1800flowers work anywhere

make sure to send them to her at work -- so she can get the 100% bragging rights out of them ;)
Reply:sory no! look in the yellow pages
Reply:Search the Internet, it helps!
Reply:Yes, please send her.

motor scooter

Bad Jokes?, or do you like?

2011-11-18T20:36:00.006-08:00

1.Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

4. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour,the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him.... what? A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was a man who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Bad Jokes?, or do you like?
they were all really bad, but the last one was funny and very true x i'm giving you a star just for the hell of it x
Reply:Heh heh, you need a hobby...or therapy.
Reply:where did you get those?
Reply:thanx
Reply:these are great!!! starred!! (i love bad jokes) a horse walked into a saloon in the old west one day and ordered a drink. the bartender looks at him and says "hey, why the long face?
Reply:Quality! Thumbs up.
Reply:the last one did make me laugh!
Reply:Hahahahahaha! No.
Reply:Beautiful. I love 'em. Star for you!
Reply:You really can entertain yourself.
Reply:Funny, but you are still really, really bored aren't you?
Reply:ypu get a star just for the last 1. quality . thanx
Reply:These were actually very funny for a change. I am use to extremely boring jokes that do not make me laugh...but this one, it took the kayak

:-)
Reply:I'm not a huge fan of puns, but these made me smile.
Reply:yeah some of them are good, specially the last one
Reply:haha number 9 was funny
Reply:That was funny!
Reply:ha ha ha
Reply:lmao i actually enjoyed them!! some nice clean jokes i've never heard wtg!! have a star!!

Who likes Puns?

2011-11-18T20:36:00.005-08:00

Here are the 10 first place winners in the International Pun Contest:

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The flight attendant looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

%26gt;

%26gt;2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!”

%26gt;

%26gt;3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it immediately sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

%26gt;

%26gt;4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

%26gt;

%26gt;5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

%26gt;

%26gt;6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?", they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said," I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

%26gt;

%26gt;7. A woman has identical twins and is forced to give them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're identical twins! If you've seen Juan, you've %26gt;seen Ahmal."

%26gt;

%26gt;8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

%26gt;

%26gt;9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

%26gt;

%26gt;And finally:

%26gt;

%26gt;10. There was the person who sent ten different puns to friends with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Who likes Puns?
3 6 8 and 9 are super funny. im still laughing!
Reply:o-tay den
Reply:Brilliant!
Reply:Ha!

Fantastic set of puns, number 7 is my favourite!
Reply:watz a Pun
Reply:very clever
Reply:An elephant was drinking out of a river one day, when he spotted a turtle asleep on a log. So, he ambled on over and kicked it clear across the river.

"What did you do that for?" Asked a passing giraffe.

"Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my trunk 53 years ago."

"Wow, what a memory" commented the giraffe.

"Yes," said the elephant, "turtle recall".

**************************************...

The French will eat almost anything. A young cook decided that the French would enjoy feasting on rabbits and decided to raise rabbits in Paris and sell them to the finer restaurants in the city. He searched all over Paris seeking a suitable place to raise his rabbits. None could be found. Finally, an old priest at the cathedral said he could have a small area behind the rectory for his rabbits. He successfully raised a number of them, and when he went about Paris selling them, a restaurant owner asked him where he got such fresh rabbits. The young man replied, "I raise them myself, near the cathedral. In fact, I have ... a hutch back of Notre Dame.

**************************************...

Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he was captured only 2 blocks away when his Econoline ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied: "I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."
Reply:some are cute.... some are just awful
Reply:Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

6 is scared of 7, because 7 8 9.

Number 9 and 10 on your list are very clever
Reply:10 out of 10
Reply:I love them!!!

My two favourites (other than the Kayak one already listed):

Snow White received a camera as a gift. She happily took pictures of the Dwarfs and their surroundings. When she finished her first batch she took the film to be developed. After a week or so she went to get the finished photos. The clerk said the photos were not back from the processor.

Needless to say, she was disappointed and started to cry. The clerk, trying to console her, said,

"Don't worry. Someday your prints will come".

Another one...

A man walks into a butcher shop and says to the butcher, "I'll bet you 50 bucks that you can't reach that beef on the top shelf." The butcher shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry I can't. The steaks are too high."
Reply:Thnk god!!

For a min there i thot iwas the only 1 who lost intrest in the puns
Reply:lol
Reply:4 was good.

7 was decent

9 was OK

10 was good as well.
Reply:Those were pretty creative.
Reply:i dont get it..
Reply:clever, especially no.9
Reply:idiot......

Help my lemon tree is dying (I think) :(?

2011-11-18T20:36:00.004-08:00

About 2 weeks ago I brought a lemon tree. It looked quite happy in the shop and the florist wrote down a lot of instructions because I was pannicking about looking after such a cute plant. I water it every 4 days like she said and sparay it as well but leave have started to drop of and now I am pannicking.

Please someone help me save my plant!!!

Oh yeah I'm in the uk so it'#s a bit nippy over here but I've always kept him in doors

Help my lemon tree is dying (I think) :(?
Lemon trees are outdoor plants, and needs full sunlight. i think water once every few days ONLY when it's hot (like summer) %26amp; bearing fruits. otherwise water only when the soil feels dry (once a week or longer if the weather is cool/rainy). too much water will kill it, bacause the water will cause the roots to rot. and since your plant is indoors, I assume you either have a saucer below or your pot does not have drainage holes. It is probably collecting unwanted water on the bottom of the pot (if there are no drainage holes). Keep the tree protected from frost in the winter. When the roots rot, there's not much you can do to save it. what you can do is to dry out the soil immediately (or change the soil completely) and hope that the roots aren't too damaged and rejuvenate.
Reply:It needs sun. I have a lemon tree that's dying cuz of that.
Reply:lemon trees dont like to much dry heat try putting a dish of water

under the plant as this helps the humidity also buy a drip feeder theses cost about £2.00 and last for 6-8 weeks i know that most garden centres stock them .hope this helps .
Reply:most of the plant purchaced in stores are greenhouse grown and usually forced to grow at times they otherwise would not. If you are following the intructions given--ie watering, fertilizing, light exposure etc, the tree will be fine. the leaves normally fall off when the temps fall. no need to panic it will produce again in the spring and be just as happy as it was...its just sleeping...;-)
Reply:well its almost winter (or if you go by months then its already winter) so that might be it. we have a lemon tree that was fairly ill looking for a long time so I dont think they die very easily
Reply:Hi, i suggest a great site with plenty of Issues related to your home and garden and everything around it. it also provide clear and accurate answer to many common questions.

http://garden.sitesled.com/

I am sure that you can get your answers in this website.

Good Luck and Best Wishes!
Reply:Excessive watering of citrus will kill it. STOP WATERING IT SO MUCH.

Water it like rain, occasionally. Once every week or ten days take it outside and soak it down with a spray, make sure the pot drains thoroughly then bring it back inside. If it doesn't drain thoroughly it will get root rot. Dropping leaves is a sign it is sick.

The reason they grow so well in Florida is that they grow in sand. So they drain quickly.

Have you checked to see if the pot has a drain hole and it will need to be in a saucer.

Truthfully citrus are outside trees. They can be cultivated to seem like house plants but they really aren't. Keep it in for the winter then outside in the spring. I would keep it near the window and rotate it every day to get as much sun as possible.

I just Googled "Growing Lemon Trees as a House Plant". It says water when dry.

Good Luck.
Reply:We've tried a few in our conservatory ( heated as per the house ) and had no luck, they jsut fade away after a few weeks/months.

Don't see the point anymore.
Reply:Do not water so often this time of year. The soil only needs to be a little moor than damp.You will loose leaves this time of year esspecially if its cold and or drafty where you keep the plant.Do not on the other hand put it in a baking hot room as this will dry the plant out and kill it.

Does every rose really have a thorn?

2011-11-18T20:36:00.003-08:00

Because the ones at the florist shop down the street don't...

wtf.

Does every rose really have a thorn?
Hi:

Yes and no I will say.

Every rose does have a thorn, yes I'm sorry to say but it is true. But it is all in the handling of that rose that is important. If you carefully place your fingers between the thorns, raise the fower up gently to smell is fragrance you will smell it's sweet smell but also notice the soft silky rose petals.

The beauty you see and smell of it's fragrance from this delicate yet extremely strong flower will make you believe that it is so delicate that it will never have thorns.

A Rose

A thing of delicate white.

Or deep crimson, almost dark as night.

The softest touch of a petal there.

Or sharp prick of the thorn lay bare.

Except for you, a more beautiful thing I'll never see.

This rose for you from me.
Reply:Maybe they have kindly removed them so you don't get hurt...
Reply:And every picture tells a story.
Reply:yes they do!!!!
Reply:i wish that every thorn had a rose
Reply:Yep just like every night has it's dawn.
Reply:Just like every cowboy.. sings a sad, sad song

Teeth Whitening

Is my sense of humor warped???

2011-11-18T20:36:00.002-08:00

A group of friars opened a florist shop to help with their belfry payments. Everyone liked to buy flowers from the Men of God, so their business flourished. A rival florist became upset that his business was suffering because people felt compelled to buy from the Friars, so he asked the Friars to cut back hours or close down. The Friars refused. The florist went to them and begged that they shut down. Again they refused. So the florist then hired Hugh McTaggert, the biggest meanest thug in town. He went to the Friars' shop, beat them up, destroyed their flowers, trashed their sho p, and said that if they didn't close, he'd be back. Well, totally terrified, the Friars closed up shop and hid in their rooms. This proved that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

Is my sense of humor warped???
No-

Actually it's kind of cute! I found myself laughing out loud at work in my office!

Good one! Not many can make me laugh like a totally insane person.
Reply:no
Reply:Yup!
Reply:oh my. What a silly joke.....
Reply:Your humor is not warped, just foolish.
Reply:LMAO!!!! i love it! i love ur sence of humor! keep it, treasure it! hehe, florist friars..............
Reply:Warped mind, or not, this is good.
Reply:that is a really good one.. the pastor on our volunteer fire department will enjoy that one!
Reply:Not warped, just "ba-boom" corny.
Reply:SILLY SILLY SILLY
Reply:Nice little play on words, there.
Reply:oh my

thats a silly one

lol
Reply:That was cute, I really needed a laugh too! Thank You!!
Reply:Nice, i liked that one.
Reply:LMAO.

That was cute. I wasn't sure where it was going. Caught me by surprise.

Where to advertise?

2011-11-18T20:36:00.001-08:00

Hello there,

I have just started an online business( florist shop) but want to give it some exposure ,can somebody advise me where is a good place to advertise on the internet to get noticed ,open to all ideas.

thank you

Where to advertise?
try these '10 low cost ways to promote your website' http://www.newbiztips.net/marketingideas...

good luck with your business!

Rebecca
Reply:The most effective way to advertise on the Internet is

to first set up a website and publish its domain name

on major search directories such as Google.com,

Yahoo.com [at http://www.google.com/addurl/?...... and

MSN.com since 85% of Internet shoppers rely on these

search directories to provide them with goods and

services. In a sense, these search directories are a

very large Internet Yellow Pages.

Nevertheless, should your website or opening webpage

fail to contain "generic" keywords, then anyone using

such "generic" queries will not be able to discover

your website. Your domain name [URL] of your website,

in a sense, will be invisible, undiscoverable.

You may want to consider some simple algorithms which,

when observed and committed in designing of a website

with placement of various critical metatags that can

surely achieve a high search engine presence and

increase Internet traffic to your website. These

metatag strategies work well with published webpages

at Google and Yahoo.

Design: Should you create an extensive Flash-based

website, make sure to fill-in the property entries

such as the Title, Description and Keywords. Failing

to do so, leaves no hard HTML or ALT resource that can

be readily indexed by search robots. Also consider the

Internet audience and their incoming setup. For

example, if they are on analog/dialup, Flash webpages

take too long to load up and therefore analog users

will likely lose interest and discontinue entering the

Flash site. On the other hand, anyone on hi-speed DSL

lines, will welcome Flash pages which load quickly. So

before designing a pure Flash websitge, ask the simple

question, "Who's my end user - is he on dialup or

DSL?" And if you had to choose between these two users

for maximum marketability, then select analog users

since 80% of most resident users are still analog

Internet subscribers and pure HTML designed webpages

is best for them.

A non-Flash-based website which relies on hard text,

is far easier to be indexed by search robots. Limit

the use of stylized text saved as .gifs since as a

graphic, they are not indexable by search robots.

Avoid use of frames since any number of search robots

are unable to properly classify textual material.

Placement of Metatags:

A ranking or search order does take place with Google

and Yahoo and it begins with the "Title" metag which

should consist of no more than 65 characters separated

by commas. The "Title" should describe in generic

terms, the goods and services, followed by a location

from which the resource is located, i.e., city, state.

The placement of a domain name which is not generic

within the "Title" is not appropriate, unless your

domain name is a major recognizable brand name.

The second metatag is the "Description" which is

usually 41 words to form a complete sentence which

best describes one's goods and services.

And the very last category - "Keywords" are also

somewhat limited to 15-16 words which can be plural

and compound in nature. Again, avoid multiple entries

which could be mistaken as "spamdexed entries" which

is defined as the loading, and submission of

repetitive words into a particular metatag category.

"Spamdexing" when discovered on a webpage and reported

to Google's spamreport.com can result in the

elimination of your website from their search

directory.

Good luck!
Reply:Others blogs (via permission lol )

http://adzookz.co.uk

http://www.classifieds.co.uk/

http://usfreeads.com/

http://gumtree.com

http://loot.com (ad also gets featured in magazine)

http://www.freeads.net/

http://www.friday-ad.co.uk/
Reply:You may want to try PPC (pay-per-click) advertising through Yahoo (Overture) or Google (Adwords).

This can get expensive so be careful.

One of the most effective ways is to write articles related to your business and post them at

www.ezinearticles.com

This can get traffic to your site almost instantly once your article is approved.

This could really get you some serious traffic with Valentine's Day approaching.

Ideas:

Why do we buy Roses for ladies?

Flower Ideas for all occasions.

Also try posting some ads at free classified listing sites:

http://www.preferredpromoz.com/adlandpro...
Reply:Hi I've just started a website myself to try and fund my Master's degree in America and I'm offering 12-month advertisements from only AU$9.99. I have around seven companies who have taken up my offer at this point.

Everything you need to know you can find at: http://www.getmetoamerica.com/advertise....

You're more than welcome to advertise here if you want.

All the best.

I need major help with this paragraph of proggressive forms I'm suppost to fill in the blanks...?

2011-11-18T20:36:00.000-08:00

I'm suppost to use these words in progressive forms in the paragraph below.

Report

Develop

Ring

Call

Rain

Expect

Hold

Demand

Await

Search

Stand

Pound

I (blank)outside the phone booth for an hour. It (bland) the entire time. I (blank) a call from my assistant, Boris Blookhound. He (blank) every flower show and florist shop in the metropolitan area for the missing orchid. Any minute now he (blank) to report his findings.

Obviously the owner of this valuable plat (blank) the resuslts of Blookhould's investigation too. Sir Horty Culture (blank) this unusual orchid for years. He thinks that Willy Dewitt, his chief competitor, (blank) the orchid for ransom.

At last my phone (blank)! My hear (blank)! (blank) blookhound (blank) that "the case of the missing orchid" is solved or (blank) a blackmailer (blank) a fortune? to be continued...

I know almost all of them but I'm not sure! Thanks

I need major help with this paragraph of proggressive forms I'm suppost to fill in the blanks...?
If you don't understand the assignment, why don't you get help from your instructor?

Find all real solutions?

2011-11-18T20:35:00.007-08:00

Simple Interest, Jennifer borrows $10,450 from her bank to open a florist shop. She agrees to repay the money in 18 months with simple interest of 10.4%. How much will she pay the bank in 18 months? How much of the amount she pays is interest??

Find all real solutions?
18 months = 1.5 years

$10,450 x 1.5 x 10.4% = $1,630.20 (Interest)

$10,450 + $1,630.20 = $12,080.20 (P + I)

Good luck!

dress shoes

Have you heard this story RED ROSES WHERE HER FAVORITE?

2011-11-18T20:35:00.006-08:00

Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose.

And every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty bows.

The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door.

The card said, "Be my Valentine", like all the years before.

Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always say,

"I love you even more this year, than last year on this day.

My love for you will always grow, with every passing year."

She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear.

She thought, he ordered roses in advance before this day.

Her loving husband did not know, that he would pass away.

He always liked to do things early, way before the time.

Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine.

She trimmed the stems, and placed them in a very special vase.

Then, sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face.

She would sit for hours, in her husband's favorite chair.

While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting there.

A year went by, and it was hard to live without her mate.

With loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate.

Then, the very hour, as on Valentines before,

The doorbell rang, and there were roses, sitting by her door.

She brought the roses in, and then just looked at them in shock.

Then, went to get the telephone, to call the florist shop.=20

The owner answered, and she asked him, if he would explain,=20

Why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain?

"I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago,"

The owner said, "I knew you'd call, and you would want to know.

The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance.

Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance.

There is a standing order, that I have on file down here,

And he has paid, well in advance, you'll get them every year.

There also is another thing, that I think you should know,

He wrote a special little card...he did this years ago.

Then, should ever I find out that he's no longer here,

That's the card...that should be sent, to you the following year."

She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard.

Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached to get the card.

Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note.

Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote...

"Hello my love, I know it's been a year since I've been gone,

I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome.

I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real.

For if it was the other way, I know how I would feel.

The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life.

I loved you more than words can say, you were the perfect wife.

You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need.

I know it's only been a year, but please try not to grieve.

I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears.

That is why the roses will be sent to you for years.

When you get these roses, think of all the happiness,

That we had together, and how both of us were blessed.

I have always loved you and I know I always will.

But, my love, you must go on, you have some living still.

Please...try to find happiness, while living out your days.

I know it is not easy, but I hope you find some ways.

The roses will come every year, and they will only stop,

When your door's not answered, when the florist stops to knock.

He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out.

But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt,

To take the roses to the place, where I've instructed him,

And place the roses where we are, together once again.

Sometimes in life, you find a special friend;

Someone who changes your life just by being part of it.

Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop;

Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world.

Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it.

This is Forever Friendship.

Have you heard this story RED ROSES WHERE HER FAVORITE?
omg thats sooo sweet and soo depressing! :'(
Reply:Seems I have heard this story before and it's very touching. I dream of finding a man that special one day!
Reply:No, I hadn't heard it before, but I really enjoyed reading it. It's rather touching.
Reply:im sat here with tear streaming down my face thats how i feel about my partner but we are having probs but it giveas you hope it is so lovely
Reply:no,but i read what u put and it was beautiful
Reply:I don't know that I've heard this particular story; but with it's words you masterfully resonate the residual truths of your readers' hearts.

Bravo!
Reply:hell yeah my sister plays it all time its a good song

good luck with everytink

hope i help heaps
Reply:It's Beautiful, thank you for sharing it.
Reply:no
Reply:No... Never heard it. Very sweet story.Makes me appreciate who I have in my life. Thanks ;-)
Reply:that was beautiful thank you i have been going through alot and that really helped me out
Reply:no
Reply:Yes, I have gotten this quite a few times in my emails from friends. It's a sad story, but nice.
Reply:beautiful...... nope never heard that one
Reply:I've never heard that before. it was so beautiful it made me tear up a little. (blush). thanks for sharing!
Reply:awwwww thts sooo sweet...

...it brought a tear 2 my eye...

but i avnt heard it b4 2day tho
Reply:that was soooo beautiful it almost made me cry.
Reply:I've never heard it before, but it was a lovely story. Thanks for sharing :)
Reply:WOW...(sniff, gotta find my kleenex)
Reply:thats so cute

Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose. And every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty?

2011-11-18T20:35:00.005-08:00

bows. The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door. The card said, "Be my Valentine," like all the years before. Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always say, "I love you even more this year, than last year on this day. My love for you will always grow, with every passing year." She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear. She thought, he ordered roses in advance before this day. Her loving husband did not know, that he would pass away. He always liked to do things early, way before the time. Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine. She trimmed the stems, and placed them in a very special vase. Then, sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face. She would sit for hours, in her husband's favorite chair. While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting there.

A year went by, and it was hard to live without her mate. With loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate. Then, the very hour, as on Valentines before,

The doorbell rang, and there were roses, sitting by her door. She brought the roses in, and then just looked at them in shock. Then, went to get the telephone, to call the florist shop. The owner answered, and she asked him, if he would explain,

Why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain? "I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago," The owner said, "I knew you'd call, and you would want to know. The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance.

Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance. There is a standing order,that I have on file down here, And he has paid, well in advance, you'll get them every year. There also is another thing, that I think you should know; He wrote a special little card... he did this years ago. Then, should ever I find out that he's no longer here, That's the card...that should be sent, to you the

following year." She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard. Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached to get the card. Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note. Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote... "Hello my love, I know it's been a year since I've been gone, I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome. I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real. Or if it was the other way, I know how I would feel. The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life. I loved you more than words can say, you were the perfect wife. You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need. I know it's only been a year, but please try not to grieve I want you to be

happy, even when you shed your tears. That is why the roses will be sent to you for years. When you get these roses, think of all the happiness, That we had together, and how both of us were blessed. I have always loved you and I know I

always will. But, my love, you must go on, you have some living still. Please...try to find happiness, while living out your days. I know it's not easy, but I hope you find some ways. The roses will come everyyear, and they will only stop, when your door's not answered, when the florist stops to knock. He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out. But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt to take the roses to the place where I've instructed him. And place the roses where we are, together once again. Sometimes in life, you find a special friend; someone who changes your life just by being part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop; Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it. This is Forever Friendship.

Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose. And every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty?
Gracias Sunshine!!!

I hope that Roses appear in your life always for sharing this with me. I had read it long ago and it was so nice to see again.
Reply:oh man that made me cry :-( my Dad sent me my x-mas card like 5 days befor he died and it was almost like he was there ...thanx sunshine:-)
Reply:thats beautiful
Reply:Wow...I've never read something this sappy.

As an aside, I hope that woman wasn't thinking about starting to date again, cause this incident would really mess her up for the rest of her life.

Maybe that was the guys intent...give her a lifelong guilt trip?
Reply:did you make that up yourself?.....it was beautiful!!!!
Reply:wow............................

that's really really sweet sad too made tears come to my eyes
Reply:oh my God....you made tears come to my eyes with this! so sweet!

if only we all could find something this good!
Reply:Lovely
Reply:That story makes me want to cry. That is the sweetest thing I ever heard. That is true love. To love a person so much. To be that person was special. She was a lucky woman.

practice dance shoes

Read my short story please! Do you like it?

2011-11-18T20:35:00.004-08:00

As I stood at my first photography display, I couldn’t help but think of my mother. She was the one, after all, who inspired my deep love of photography. People swarmed around me, and complimented my work. I was at a standstill, the night moving fast and slow at the same time. My mother’s face was in my mind, as clear as the detailed photos on the wall.

My mother was one of those independent single mothers who loved her child more then anything. When I was younger, she would snap pictures constantly on her camera. I hated it at first. “Why should I smile when I don’t even feel happy?” I would grumble. She would just flash her lovely smile and tell me to pose anyway. We had photo albums all over the house, she cropped and snipped constantly, smiling at all the places we’d been and things we’d done. Eventually I became used to the camera at her side almost all the time. I appreciated my mom a little bit more, when one day I had my best friend Lindsey over.

“Lisa, aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?” Mom asked with her motherly smile. I made the introductions grudgingly, wanting to take Lindsey to my room. But they hit it off immediately, talking about photography, of all things! I impatiently tapped my foot, but neither of them took notice. Lindsey was now looking through our photo albums with delight.

“Oh, Ms. Lawrence! These are fantastic! I wish my mom made these…. But she’s an alcoholic, you see. She doesn’t care about that sort of thing, so I have no record of my life. It’s kind of like walking around knowing who you are but not knowing where you’ve been. You’re so lucky Lisa, to know that your mom cares.” And with that Lindsey burst into tears. My mom held her and told her she would lend her the supplies to start her own scrapbook. I finally realized what a great mom I had, and it had taken thirteen years to come to this conclusion.

The next morning, after Lindsey had gone home, I took my cup of tea and sat down across from her at the kitchen table. We were tea people, as my mom said. Every single morning she had her cup of earl gray with no sugar and a little bit of milk, and I had my French vanilla with milk and sugar. We always talked over tea too, and that morning was no exception.

“Hey, Mom?” I was hesitant about the usual morning chatter today. I wanted to discuss the one subject I usually despised, and I was terribly afraid she would call me out on my hypocrisy.

“Yes?” she seemed to feel the tension pulsating out of me, and encouraged me by brushing back her red hair to give me a better look at her eyes. They showed she would not be unforgiving.

“Umm… what do you like best about photography?” I mumbled it and winced, waiting for the angry tone. Mom was completely understanding though, she was truly glad I was interested in something new. She wasn’t like other moms, and for the first time in my life I wasn’t embarrassed of her. To this day I’m not even sure if she heard my question, because she didn’t answer it. She just started talking about photography. Just talking; and I could tell by how animated her eyes were that she truly loved it.

“Lisa, photography is different for every person. For me it’s how I can stop time and take a photograph, and I will always have it, so I can always remember. It’s like saving that one memory forever. And I can take pictures of you, and I can remember exactly that look on your face. And by the way, I can tell when your smile is fake or real. You can’t fool a camera.” She smiled at this, and I blushed, thinking of all the false smiles I had forced when I was having a bad day.

“But it’s mainly a way to hold on to something, to be able to remember something that will never be exactly the same again. I can look at all my pictures, and reflect on how much time has past. Think of how much can change in a minute, and you will realize why I take so many pictures. Just in case things change, I will have that photo. All the people and places are frozen there, so as you change and they don’t, you can notice those changes and hold onto the way things were and never will be again. It’s a way to leave my mark on this world. After I’m gone, my pictures will be here, and I’ll always be on that picture, smiling, for you to look at. A camera flash is the surest thing in the world.” And with that she rose, kissed my head, and left for work. I didn’t quite understand the last thing she had said about the camera flash being the surest thing in the world, and my need to understand forced me to find out.

So I took pictures constantly, and I grew to love it too. I figured out ways to make a shot look better, how to focus light, and how to position people to make the photo different. I loved it in exactly the same way my mother did. I now understood her in a way I never had before. And I understood what she meant about the camera flash. When the flash goes off, it’s reassuring. That camera flash promises that what you just saw is saved, that you can remember it. It’s proof that you now have that memory forever. And it’s proof that you are now engraved into that picture, into that moment in time, forever. I also wanted to be here after I was gone, and that is mainly why I am thinking about my mother tonight. I want people to look back on my candid shots and remember, like I was forced to do only six months after that conversation over tea.

My mom died, at the age of thirty-eight, in the most unfair way that my teenage mind could comprehend. My mom was on a city street, and a bar fight got out of hand. A man was kicked out just as she was nearing an alley to take an amazing shot of the shadows. A gun was fired, and my mom was taken from me forever. I looked over all her pictures for months, and swore I would take my mother’s passion to the next level.

There I stood, as the night was over, in the middle of the empty street, looking at the distinguished brick building in front of me. My photographs had been greatly admired, but I had just pressed down the button on my camera at the right moment in time. I was just here for my mother. My senses were heightened; I could smell the scent of flowers from the florist shop down the street. The air was filled with late night fog, and the steady beat of a light drizzle calmed me. I was finally where my mother had always wanted to go. A man on the other side of the street hummed a tune, and I picked it up and hummed it too. I was happy, and my mother’s face was in my mind. I was not paying attention until the car was too close to do anything.

I only felt a quick moment of pain, as my head pounded into the pavement. I was slightly aware of shouts and of wetness under my head and legs, but I was peaceful. My breathing was shallow, and I realized that the first milestone in my career would also be my last. As the infamous white light came, it was quicker then I expected it to be. And I instantly recognized what it resembled. It was assuring me that my life would not be forgotten, that I was captured in time, that my life was frozen as it was, and that my memories were safely tucked away somewhere in the universe.

The white light resembled the flash of a camera.

Read my short story please! Do you like it?
That was very good. I didn't expect that ending. As I was reading I thought maybe this was a true story until I got to the end.
Reply:I read it and I liked it.

Up for some constructive critism?

Add more feeling. Joy, Anger, Sadness, Etc.

Otherwise, a good story.
Reply:I do like it!

What an interesting concept, and a good connection between the flash and that final light we all - supposedly- see. WOW!

Your story could use a little polishing and editing (you used 'then' where you should have used 'than', etc.) if you like to publish it, but over all it's really good!

I'd love to know the inspiration for it. Add comments and tell us?
Reply:Wow, that is a very good story! This line, "It’s kind of like walking around knowing who you are but not knowing where you’ve been." has so deep meaning. I don't know if you realized it, but it sure hit the mark for me! This story reminded me of why I love to take pictures! Pictures offer us the past, they remind us of the lives we lived before. They can bring back what we have lost and offer us hope for the future. You are a very creative writer and definitely understand there is more to life than what others think. Though your story has a sad ending, it reminds us to follow our dreams. You never know when it will be your last day here, so it is important you live for what you believe in. Nice work! 8)
Reply:I really liked it. Maybe change the last line to: "Mother was right, a camera's flash is the surest thing"

I just don't really like the way you made it extremely obvious in the end. Forcing your audience to think is good.

Advice on web building?

2011-11-18T20:35:00.003-08:00

I have no idea about building a web site,I want to have an online florist shop and need a website but have no idea on costs or even if i can build one myself. I don't have very much cash so need a cheap one.

Any advice would be great,thank you !

Advice on web building?
Try the free web site builder NVU.

http://nvu.com/

Edit: I would strongly suggest against Frontpage, as it is a horrible program that puts all sorts of unnecessary in your code, and requires special extensions on your web hoster to work properly.
Reply:Sounds like you need a retired person now with a hobby web business of building sites ......I do this for fun for fun and it is easy.............Domain 9.23 and hosting 19.98 a year with unlimited hosting and unlimited email accounts. easy control panel.......Mark .......... you can contact with my username at yahoo.ca
Reply:microsoft frontpage, good for noobies!
Reply:If you want to build a website then go to freewebs where you can build one for free, you will get help all the way from the start to finish and also you will recieve great templates.

Also as you are a florist they have some good florist templates as well.

Its easy i built one with freewebs.

good luck on your website
Reply:You'll need a domain name and webhosting to start with; i got mine from www.heartinternet.co.uk, i registered a domain for 2 years and got 2 years free basic hosting with php and cgi scripts that auto-install.

If your selling flowers online you may want to get a paypal or worldpay account. I would recommend paying someone to create your site if your not experienced as it will look unprofessional and unattractive to your customers.

I'd build you a site for free, but at the moment im a bit busy recreating my site, sorry.
Reply:Good afternoon-

I can come up with something for you and show you what I got, and I will build you a website free of charge. If you do one yourself, it will take you a long time to learn, and could be unprofessional looking since it would be your first site. Let me know. You can email me at:

Pomicio@pomirc.com
Reply:You need to decide whether you just want it as an online business card, or whether you want to sell flowers etc from it.

If you just want it as a business card type website:

--------------------------------------...

You could probably get a cheap website (~$300) designed from service websites such as elance.com, guru.com or rentacoder.com. If you are more hands on type of person you could try and teach yourself HTML %26amp; CSS - a good place to do this is at w3schools.com. You could even get a free web design template from websites such as opensourcetemplates.org and then make minor changes to customise it yourself.

If you want to sell flowers from it:

--------------------------------------...

You will need to have a database driven site. Avactis have a good shopping cart system with full backend so that you can add products etc. The nice thing about Avactis as well is that the default template is for a florist. That means that at least in the short term you wont have to pay someone to redesign it fo you. Avactis is about $200 so is still cheaper than having some design a website for you plus you get a full backend so you wont even need to know html or css :)

Once you have a website you tehn will have ongoing costs. These include domain name (approx $10 per year) and hosting (approx $10 per month)

Isn't the price of gas hurting all small business?

2011-11-18T20:35:00.002-08:00

I own a florist shop and the price of gas is hurting my business and every other business in the plaza.

www.donotbuygas.com is a website that I found to lobby the senate to bring down the price of gas.

What can we do?

It is a desperate situation when the economy can only get worse.

Isn't the price of gas hurting all small business?
yes it can only get worse and i am with you i agree it is destroying American and many other countries in the world. when the oil companies are at there highest profits in year we suffer... the senate can do nothing to help... big business will prevail. slowly the government has removed the citizens rights away in the usa and have not take big businesses rights away equally so there for there is an imbalance. big business has more rights. we as pawns can only sit back and wait for the crash... for their greed will be their demise. i have been saying that these gas prices will destroy our economy as it continues on.

heres why i believe the senate will do nothing...

when one looks at it monopolies are illegal in the usa. yet OPEC companies are doing business in the usa everyday. so its ok to be a monopoly and do business in the usa as long as you are not based in the usa. why are these companies allowed to collaborate and control oil pricing and still do business in the usa? yet if the countries that are involved in OPEC get threatened by hostile forces our troops are sent to defend their rights and die for them yet we receive no benefits of such act... OPEC is a terrorist organization it fits within the definition of one... ignorance does not excuse them from such. why does congress and the senate sit back and do nothing about OPEC?

I want to start a hobby, like gardening, but I live in an apartment?

2011-11-18T20:35:00.001-08:00

I'd also like to get a job doing something with plants or animals, but I don't have any experience so far other than food service and retail. Could I work retail in a florist's shop? Have any of you done this with no experience and have been hired?

I want to start a hobby, like gardening, but I live in an apartment?
food service and retail.. your a people person.

And if you like something like plant or animals you may no more then you think.

theirs a lot of things you can do in a flower shop.

customer service,...taking orders

merchandising... setting up there displays

Back off the house help...making personal ribbons, bowls,

transportation....delivery

I'd get a book on plants and things and familiarizes your self on some of the plants name and things will also help.

Like i said you may know more than you think.

Good luck.
Reply:no i havnt been hired but i do land scaping sometimes. im mainly home repares. but they probably can hire you or you can try home depot in the garden department.

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What's a good name for a florist/gift shop?

2011-11-18T20:35:00.000-08:00

I am opening a floraist/gift shop in an urban affluent area. I can't think of a good name. Something catchy and cute yet contemporary but not too snotty. Suggestions please!

What's a good name for a florist/gift shop?
Fantasia.
Reply:Glorious flowers and gifts !!!
Reply:Blooming Botique
Reply:sentiments
Reply:(YOUR NAME) FLOWER SHOP

Florist contract with hospital?

2011-11-18T20:34:00.005-08:00

My boss is going to sell flowers to a hospital gift shop at a discount. He needs to come up with a contract for the hospital. My concern is that he is not charging them enough for the flower arrangements. Does anyone have any idea what should be charged to the hospital?? A percentage most likely. He wants to charge them 50%. But I do not feel this is near enough. It would be a losing proposition. I am worried about this. Thanks all of you. Jan

Florist contract with hospital?
Think of the 'price' your boss wants to charge the hospital gift shop this way ... the 'gift shop' is a CHARITABLE shop, and the 'profits' they make usually go to help the 'indigent' patients get their health care free. Second, most people who buy flowers at the gift shop have someone in that hospital who got sick suddenly, and they are 'afraid' to leave, even just to 'buy flowers' ... but they LOVE their patient, and they may not have 'a lot of money' but really do appreciate it when the flowers aren't priced so high they can't afford them.

I think that even if he must take a 'small loss' on those flowers, that he is doing a 'good and charitable' act, and can actually take the 'money he loses' off his taxes ... which can 'pay him' much MORE than if he was able to 'clear a small profit.' In other words ... IT'S FINE ...

I hope you tell your boss about your 'doubts' and also about what I've told you here ... I may be 'wrong' about the 'why' your boss wants only 50% of his 'normal charge' ... but at least you now have 'more information' on what a 'hospital gift shop' does, and why it's a 'good thing' for the flowers to 'cost less.'
Reply:Should be close to 100% of what you charge your normal customers. Have the contract drawn up by a paralegal or attorney. 50% is really low.
Reply:I once sold floral arrangements to a gift shop. I figured my cost to make the arrangements, the x3 markup (standard floral markup), discounted 10%, and that is the price I charged to the gift shop. The gift shop, in turn, marked them up again, and that is what the customer ultimately paid. After the gift shop paid me, I didn't care if they sold the arrangement for $1.00 or $100.00. Whatever profit they could make was fine.

So, there you go, folks. If you are sending flowers to the hospital, call the florist and order direct, and avoid gift shop prices...lol.

Starting a business?

2011-11-18T20:34:00.004-08:00

I was thinking about starting a small business (florist shop) in a downtown area, I'm going to have to take out a small business loan, how much should I take out, enough to get started and keep it running for a year..or more than that? How do I get started after I find a building to lease?

Starting a business?
Do a business plan. In doing so, you will answer all of the questions you've asked and some you haven't yet. You'll need to know about marketing, about the competition, state and local taxes, zoning, shipping, vendors and a host of other things that can't be answered in this forum. A business plan will also show you how realistic your idea is and how to make necessary adjustments to make it work (i.e. opening a shop in downtown vs the burbs). Most of the research can be done for little or no money and there are tons of resources out there to help you. Start with visiting your state and city government websites for business start ups. Then visit your local chamber of commerce--most have free business counseling and can help you draft your business plan and make financial projections. You'll also benefit from talking to some florist (maybe in a city close by so they won't see you as a competitor) and look up trade association. Good luck
Reply:To help you with the rest of your challenge of starting your florist shop, I would recommend that you talk to a business counselor before you do anything especially spend money. I'd call the local office of SCORE (go to http://www.score.org and input your zip code to find the chapter nearest you), the advice is FREE.

The counselor at SCORE will most likely advise you to write a business plan which is very good advice because it will force you to dig out all of the start up details and the costs of getting your florist shop started and force you to also understand all of the aspects of this business including the customers you'll concentrate on (your market ) and how you'll go after them.

Try this link :

http://www.ychange.com/small-business-co...

and read some of the articles especially the ones about a business plan and starting a business.

Good Luck
Reply:The first thing you need is the cash!

At least for a year in payments, but also you can get credit card for business to make monthly payments for your business, hope you have good credit.

Try this link

%26lt;ul%26gt;

%26lt;li%26gt;0% APR for 15 Months on Balance Transfers, 7.99% Fixed APR thereafter%26lt;/li%26gt;

%26lt;li%26gt;7.99% Variable APR on Purchases%26lt;/li%26gt;

%26lt;li%26gt;Choice of 5% Cash Back or Travel Rewards%26lt;/li%26gt;

%26lt;li%26gt;No Annual Fee and No Limit on Earnings%26lt;/li%26gt;

%26lt;li%26gt;$0 Fraud Liability%26lt;/li%26gt;

%26lt;li%26gt;Personalized card -- your company name on the top of the card%26lt;/li%26gt;

%26lt;/ul%26gt;

%26lt;p%26gt;%26lt;a href="http://links.ncsreporting.com/redi... onmouseover="window.status='Advanta Platinum BusinessCard with Rewards'; return true;" onmouseout="window.status=''; return true;" target="_blank"%26gt;Apply Now!%26lt;/a%26gt;%26lt;/p%26gt;

Looking for an english speaking flower shop in arequipa peru?

2011-11-18T20:34:00.003-08:00

have had difficulty with rosatel . is there a number to call them rather than online? are there other reputable florists in that area who can communicate in english? ftd is good but extremely expensive by comparison. any help greatly appreciated. thanks!!!!!!!!!!!

Looking for an english speaking flower shop in arequipa peru?
Rosatel is the best to me. You call call them at this number in Lima: (number in brackets is country and area code)

(51 1) 446-4666 and they can help you with your order to Arequipa. I just called them to ask about your problem and they said to call Lima and they can order the flowers to Arequipa (from Lima), no problem at all.
Reply:What a strange request... cool though.

Try http://www.floristperu.com/default.html

I'm not entirely sure they speak english in the stores, but there's a live chat service that might help, and you can order online. :)

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Shopping Mall.?

2011-11-18T20:34:00.002-08:00

I had a dream just now.

I was in a shopping mall. I watched a foreign movie (Japanese or Korean) alone in cinema. I know that there were people around me but the cinema was very quiet and only image projected into the movie screen. After the movie, I went out and I was alone in the shopping mall. Most of the shops were still open and I was the only visitor. I walked around the shopping mall, it was very quiet. I saw water lilies in a florist shop and stop there and looking around but I didn't buy any... after that, I would like to go into another shop but an old lady sleeping in front of the shop... I didn't go in.....

Does this dream have any meaning? I remember quite vividly... unlike most of my dreams, wake up and forgotten.

Shopping Mall.?
To dream that you are at the mall, represents your attempts in making a favorable impression on someone. The mall is also symbolic of materialism and the need to keep up with the trends, fads, and/or the latest technology.

To dream that you are watching a movie, suggests that you are watching life pass you by. Perhaps you are living vicariously through the actions of others. Consider also how the movie parallels to situations in your waking life. Observe how the characters relate to you and how they may represent an aspect of yourself.

To dream that you are in a movie theater, indicates that you are attempting to protect yourself from your emotions and/or actions. Viewing them on a movie screen projects them onto another person and thus makes those feelings/actions distant . You may be protecting yourself from experiencing them.

To dream that you are alone, indicates feelings of rejection. You may be feeling that no one understand you.

To see colorful flowers in your dream, signifies kindness, compassion, gentleness, pleasure, beauty, and gain. It is also symbolic of perfection and spirituality. Your dream may be an expression of love, joy and happiness. Alternatively, flowers may denote a particular time or season. If the flowers are white, then it symbolizes sadness.

To dream that you are shopping, indicates your needs and desires. Consider what you are shopping for and what needs you are try to fulfill. In particular, to dream that you are shopping for food and groceries, signifies your hidden attempt to buy the attention of others.

To see others sleeping, is often a reflection of yourself and your own unconscious mind. It is indicative of how you may not be alert or informed about a particular situation.

Sleeping may also be synonymous with death in that it beckons renewal and new beginnings.

To see something old in your dream, suggests that there is something in your life that you need to replace or get rid of. Alternatively, there may be something in the past that you need to incorporate into your current life.

In short, I believe that there is a feeling of helplessness in you as life passes by and you are just relegated to the part of an onlooker. You want to impress others but are afraid of rejection. You feel a little sad and feels that you are uninformed about a few things and need to replace or get rid of something else. I would suggest the path of “Yoga and Meditation” to make most of life and rid yourself of negative feelings.

Good luck
Reply:When you decided not to go in to the shop when wanting to because you saw an old lady sleeping in front of the shop could indicate levels of shyness. Or maybe an event or place you have to go and decided not to because of being shy.

Is there a floristry type shop somewhere on the A406 (london) near walthamstow?

2011-11-18T20:34:00.001-08:00

its supposed to somewhere near Ilford-wood green area, but i have no idea... sells florist equipment.

thanks.

Is there a floristry type shop somewhere on the A406 (london) near walthamstow?
I find the one in Wood Street Best its called Heavenley Touch

125, Wood St, London, E17 3LL

Tel: 020 8521 2525

They are a big specialist shop that does loads of flowery things.

Or if you are in Walthemstow there is a reasonable one called Coggers 849, Forest Rd, London, E17 4AT

Tel: 020 8527 1051

They only sell flowers

My friend is a floist and there are several trade type stores that require membership for florists, I advise calling one of the shops above and asking about where they are, tell them your a student florist.

PS: Ilford and Walthamstow are a long way apart from each other.

Have fun
Reply:there are several

I got 47using a search on Yell

http://www.yell.com/ucs/UcsSearchAction....
Reply:http://www.yell.com

Did you hear about the little old lady who ran a flower shop...?

2011-11-18T20:34:00.000-08:00

Some monks set up their own flower shop next door, and the little old lady started losing business.

So she asked them nicely to move to another part of town.

Didn't work.

She cried.

They didn't care.

She threatened them with a lawsuit.

They laughed.

Then she asked her Hell's Angel grandson Hugh to help.

Hugh showed up at the monk's shop, smashed it up, and sent the monks to the hospital. As soon as they healed up, they left town for good.

See? Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

Did you hear about the little old lady who ran a flower shop...?
dude thank you....that was really bad. my dad would have loved it. He loved the jokes that ended with bad puns....you brought back some good memories for me
Reply:you are awesome.
Reply:i dont get it
Reply:I.. don't get it
Reply:Does Hugh have a nose like a fox? Does he

have a tail like a fox? Is Hugh a fox? Foxes

like friars whether they are flora or not. Ever

so often I see one coming out of the hen house.
Reply:LOL!!! good one!
Reply:I don't get why others think it is funny.
Reply:I dont get it, and its not funny sorry nice try...
Reply:Wow...

I actually got it =D

YAY!

Edit : It is "Only you can prevent forest fires" right?? =S =]
Reply:lmao you know they saying

only you can prevent forest fires?

its like that cuz they sound alike

Only you can prevent forest fires

Only Hugh can prevent florist friars

Need to make a vow renewal bouquet on vacation?!?

2010-05-16T22:04:00.003-07:00

I am getting my vows renewed and have decided I am carrying a beautiful perfectly suitable small hand tied bouquet. I need instructions on how to make one, how to pick flowers for one and how on earth do I get flowers when I am on vacation! I checked most of the stores and cannot count on them having good flowers or any flowers, as they said they have them "from time to time". Florist's flowers will be too expensive, I don't like silk, my husband doesn't either (he wants it to be special and meaningful and silk to him doesn't seem appropriate) and I don't want to spend my vacation time doing things like shopping all across town for a bouquet.

I checked the places that send you flowers and they are really expensive too! But in the long run, if I could afford it, I would totally go that route. I would most appreciate answers from people who have actually made their own bouquets instead of links online, but will take those, cause I can't find any!?

Need to make a vow renewal bouquet on vacation?!?
I don't recommend you picking flowers, unless you have a green thumb. The way to go would be to buy string or bands from a local crafts store, such as Michael's, and go to a local supermarket in your area that sells flowers in bouquet or inexpensive vase arrangements form; and select whatever flowers you wish. Then go home and use the bands or string to tie the flower stems together after you have cut the stems so that they are no more than 8 inches in length and appropriate for a bouquet. Be sure to cut the stems in a diagonal; and until the time of the ceremony, keep the arrangement in the refrigerator, if you wish they can be kept in a bowl of water filled to no more than half an inch in depth with water while kept in the fridge. Wrap with and tie pink ribbon to the bottom of the arrangement; and cover the sharp part of the stems with cellophane or saran wrap which you should adhere with two-sided clear tape. CONGRATS.
Reply:For my wedding we went to the wholesale warehouse and bought boxes of flowers and supplies. I lucked out that one of my guests, (very good Friend), worked in a flower shop and she made my bouquets. I had all white roses with some yellow roses thrown in for spice. My girls had light blue hydrangeas with yellow roses pulled through the top. send me an email at salesadmin@optimumpower.com and I will send you pictures of the bouquets. They were very easy to make and took no time. Bonus, to save time on your vaca take some ribbon - two different sizes and some floral tape and a pair of scissors. That will help to start with.

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Survey: What is your idea of a perfect day ?????

2010-05-16T22:04:00.002-07:00

THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER

8.15 - Wake up to hugs and kisses

8.30 - Weigh in 2kg lighter than yesterday

8.45 - Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants; open presents - expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner

9.15 - Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil

10.00 - Light work out at club with handsome funny personal trainer

10.30 - Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry

12.00 - Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe

12.45 - Catch sight of husband/boyfriend's ex and notices she has gained 7kg

1.00 - Shopping with friends, unlimited credit

3.00 - Nap

4.00 - Three dozen roses delivered by florist, card id from secret admirer

4.15 - Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but gentle hunk who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body

5.30 - Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before full length mirror

7.30 - Candle lit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/dancers

10.00 - Hot shower (alone)

10.50 - Carried to bed . . . (freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen)

11.00 - Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling

11.15 - Fall asleep in his big strong arms

_____________________________

THE PERFECT DAY - FOR HIM

6.00 - Alarm

6.15 - ********

6.30 - Massive satisfying dump while reading the sports section

7.00 - Breakfast: rump steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked chicks with big ****

7.30 - Limo arrives

7.45 - Several Whiskeys en-route to airport

9.15 - Flight in personal Lear Jet

9.30 - Limo to Riverside Oaks Golf Club (******** en-route)

9.45 - Play front nine (2 under)

11.45 - Lunch Pie, chips and gravy, 3 beers and a bottle of Dom Perignon

12.15 - ********

12.30 - Play back nine (4 under)

2.15 - Limo back to the airport (Several Whiskeys)

2.30 - Fly to Monte Carlo

3.30 - Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew (all nude)

4.30 - Land world record Marlin (1234lbs) - on light tackle

5.00 - Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson

6.45 - ****, Shower and Shave

7.00 - Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated; marajuana and porn legalized

7.30 - Dinner: lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by Icecream served on a pair of ****

9.00 - Napoleon Brandy and Cohuna cigar in front of wall size TV as you watch international match of the day;England beat Wales 31-0

9.30 - Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies) 9.31

11.00 - Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing ale

11.30 - A nightcap *******

11.45 - In bed alone

11.50 - A 12 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room

Survey: What is your idea of a perfect day ?????
You would be right by your perfect day but what guy would want that as his perfect day? You left out the part where he plays with his kids and he doesn't have to yell at one of them to stop picking on the other. :p

However it is, it's still funny.

EDIT_

4:30 am hit snooze

4:39 hit snooze

4:48 get out of bed to get dressed

4:55 wow, no bad hair day!

5:00 leave home for work

*driving* wow, no rubber neckers causing accidents and no crappy drivers.

5:30 clock in to work and not hear anyone b**ch about how much their job sucks for the next ten hours.

4:30 time to leave for home

*driving* yeah, no accidents or police causing a 10 mile backup!

5:15 back at home

5:16 open up a beer

5:30 hmmm, wife still isn't home, guess it's time to start dinner for her and the kids before she gets home.

5:55 wife is home with kids (she had a great day and gives em a hug) kids were good at daycare, no fights.

6:30 time for dinner

7:00 dinner is done and everyone rinses their dishes and puts them in the dishwasher.

7:15 kids get ready for bed as I get some comfy clothes on

7:30 piggy backs to bed and time to tuck my babies in

7:45 kids are in bed

7:50 put on a movie and actually cuddle with the Mrs. for more than a minute before she pushes me away

10:00 time for bed and cuddling with the Mrs.

10:03 the Mrs. pushes me away to lay alone

10:05 the Mrs. starts snoring asleep

somewhere after 11:00 pm she stops and I finally fall asleep.

2:15 am youngest child wakes up just so we can put her back in bed

4 am she gets up again and so does the oldest child so we can put them back in bed

4:30 BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ
Reply:Hi, Yep thats sounds a perfect day to me.
Reply:Hi that would be my perfect Day i count vouche for Dave Hugs
Reply:Could I do your massage for you?
Reply:Just plain old waking up alive.

Problem solving with combinations?

2010-05-16T22:04:00.001-07:00

1. in how many ways can you select 4 boys %26amp; 3 girls from 9 boys %26amp; 6 girls to sit at the head table at the school fundraiser?

2. Nickson is shopping for clothes %26amp; finds that there are 9 items in his size at the store. in how many ways can Nickson make a purchase?

3. how many different sums of money can be made with a $1 coin, a $2 coin, 4 $5 bills, and a $50 bill?

4. Linda wants to put some CDs in her car to listen to on her way to her cottage. if she has a choice of 12 soft rock, 4 classical, %26amp; 6 rap CDs, in how many ways can Linda choose some CDs to put in her car?

5. When preparing a bouquet, a florist can choose from 7 roses, 6 carnations, %26amp; 4 chrysanthemums. how many bouquets can the florist make if the bouquet must have at least one flower?

THANK YOU IN ADVANCE! :)

Problem solving with combinations?
Most of the answers have a -1 at the end to indicate you can't have 0 of any of these. If you can have zero of all items, take off the -1.

1.9c4 ways to choose the boys and 6c3 ways to select the girls. So (9c4) * (6c3)

2. He can purchase 9 or 8 or 7 or... or 1:

9c9 + 9c8 + 9c7 + ... + 9c1 =

(sum from N=0 to 9 of 9cN)

3. [1c1 + 1c0]*[1c1 + 1c0] * [4c4 + 4c3 + ... + 4c0] * [1c1 + 1c0] - 1

4. She can put [12c12 + 12c11 +...+12c0] * [4c4+4c3+...+4c0] * [6c6 + 6c5 + ... + 6c0] - 1

5. [7c7 + 7c6 + ... + 7c0] * [6c6 + 6c5 + ... + 6c0] * [4c4 + 4c3 + ... + 4c0] - [7c0*6c0*4c0].

(that last part 7c0*6c0*4c0 is just = 1 since there is only 1 way to not have any flowers.)

Islam will win godless West without war or bombs, first Muslim son Obama in USA, then mosques in Europe?true?

2010-05-16T22:04:00.000-07:00

after Kenyan Muslim son %26amp; Indonesian Muslim stepson Barack Hussein Obama wins USA Presidency this November, will Islam win over the rest of Europe since many Westerners are godless agnostics and not producing kids too, so Muslims can migrate all over Europe and USA to help save Western civilization from godlessness and moral decay? long live Barack Hussein Obama, will this be the cry of celebration of all Muslims of the world if he wins against Hillary Clinton and wins Nov. election?

more Muslim mosques for Europe and USA? Obama said he will pull out USA troops immediateky in Iraq, another victory for militant pure Islam?

Germany's Biggest Mosque Spurs Fear of `Islamization' of Europe

By Seda Sezer

April 3 (Bloomberg) -- The twin spires of Germany's largest Gothic cathedral will soon be joined on the Cologne skyline by the minarets of the country's biggest mosque.

The $23 million Ehrenfeld Central Mosque, scheduled to be completed in about two years, will help bring Islam out of the back streets and reduce the influence of radicals, Mayor Fritz Schramma says. Others see the building as a symbol of Islamic extremism and further evidence that Cologne's 120,000 Muslims, more than half of them Turkish immigrants, refuse to integrate.

``I pray at the little chapel next to the Cologne Cathedral, and my prayer doesn't become more valuable if I pray in the big cathedral,'' said Laszlu Reischl, 56, a taxi driver. ``I don't understand why they insist on building a big mosque.''

The controversy reflects Germany's struggle over almost five decades to incorporate its largest ethnic minority. Tensions were revived in February when Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan told Turks at a Cologne rally that ``assimilation is a crime against humanity.'' Some lawmakers who oppose mostly Muslim Turkey's bid to join the European Union accused him of preaching Turkish nationalism on German soil.

Cologne has Germany's highest concentration of Muslims, at 12 percent of the population. The new mosque will be built in the immigrant district of Ehrenfeld, about two miles from the 13th- century Cologne Cathedral.

The 53,800-square-foot building will fit 1,200 worshippers. It will replace a converted pharmaceutical warehouse that has housed the mosque since 1984 and holds about half as many people. Many spill into the parking lot during Friday prayers.

Permanently Here

``When our fathers came here, they rented the least expensive place to pray,'' says Mehmet Gunet, legal adviser to the Cologne-based Turkish Islamic Union for Religious Affairs. ``We are permanently here and we want more beautiful prayer houses.''

German architect Paul Boehm, who has worked on local churches, won a contest to design the mosque. The building consists of curved concrete walls connected to a central dome by glass to convey openness and transparency.

The two 55-meter (180 feet) minarets will be about a third as high as the cathedral spires. The complex will also house offices, restaurants and shops.

``We want to show that Muslims can live in peace in a society,'' Gunet says. ``We are coming out of hidden places and saying, `We are here, you can come and look in.'''

`Parallel Society'

The Islamic Union, a group of Imams and theologians appointed by the Turkish government's Religious Affairs authority, is awaiting final planning approval and expects construction to begin in June.

Opposition to the mosque has been spearheaded by the Pro Cologne citizens initiative, which holds five seats in the town parliament. Over the past two years, the group has circulated petitions and leaflets and held rallies against the project.

The mosque will allow local Turks to slip further into a ``parallel society,'' where many don't even speak German, says Manfred Rouhs, a Pro Cologne representative.

``It's a symbol of Islamization in Europe and the failure of integration,'' Rouhs says. ``It's a danger to our European way of living.''

About 60 percent of Cologne residents oppose a large mosque with minarets, according to a July survey by Koelner Stadt- Anzeiger, the city's biggest newspaper.

Headscarf Hairdresser

Turks first came to Germany in the 1960s, when they were invited in to help ease a postwar labor shortage. There are about 3 million ethnic Turks in Germany today.

On Ehrenfeld's main shopping street, some Turkish stores offer special services, such as the hairdresser with private rooms for women with headscarves. A barber provides Turkish tea fresh from the samovar, an urn traditionally used to heat water.

Uneasiness about the mosque reflects Germany's ``Islamophobia, racism and xenophobia,'' says Mehmet Yildirim, general secretary of the Islamic Union.

``This society didn't have much of a relationship with different cultures and religions in the past, and they have prejudices and worries,'' Yildirim says.

Mayor Schramma says the mosque will help build trust and public acceptance of Islam.

``What Erdogan meant was assimilation by force, and we don't have that here in Germany,'' he says. ``We want to end the separation, but it must not come from the top down.''

Speak German

The Islamic Union has been open to negotiation, agreeing to reduce the size of the prayer area, to conduct the prayer call through indoor speakers, and to offer half of the shops to German business owners, Schramma says.

``The next step is that the language in the mosque in time will be German,'' the mayor says. ``The second- and third- generation, which were born here, should be ready to accept that as their mother language.''

Claus Moskopp, 52, an Ehrenfeld florist, points out that the minarets won't even be as high as the nearby 243-meter Deutsche Telekom AG tower.

``We had this mosque here as it is for a long time and no one said anything, but minarets bother people,'' he says. ``It doesn't bother me because the minarets will match the city landscape.''

Islam will win godless West without war or bombs, first Muslim son Obama in USA, then mosques in Europe?true?
The greatest fear the radical Islamists should have regarding their cause, is the day the good old boys in the US of A decide to play cowboys and radicals.
Reply:Where did you get this jaberwocky from. obviously another dimension
Reply:Yahoo! Answers Guidlines:

1) Questions may NOT include:

Profanity or personal attacks to any member or group(s) associated with Yahoo!Answers.

Propaganda.

Just joking... :)

But the point is, is that you shouldn't post nonsensical propaganda on Y! Answers.
Reply:Very frightening indeed!
Reply:next youll be telling us that our prairies will be filled with grazing camel
Reply:You're a freak who has poor language skills. That's why you rely on copying/pasting quotes to fill up the space on this nonsensical rant.
Reply:"I think that the truth spreads itself out in any way, as the circumstances require. Did you not see how Christianity used the sword sometimes? It is enough to know what Sharlman did to the Saxon tribes. I do not pay attention to whether truth is spread by the sword, the tongue, or in any other way. Let us leave the truth dominate by words, press or fighting…. Let us leave it struggle and fight with its hands, legs, and nails because it will never be defeated. Nothing will be defeated unless it deserves that..."

check this site : http://www.rasoulallah.net/subject_en.as...
Reply:Right, except the Islamic faith will never take over the US, seen as how we have separation of church and state. But keep trying.. The US is a battle you will never win. I would never convert Islam and there's millions of other Americans that think the same way.

Islam is nothing more than a religion of terror... now stop posting this propaganda... it gonna get you suspended.

The Perfect Day?

2010-05-16T22:03:00.000-07:00

Tom Brady lives in Manhattan... that's got to hurt Pats fans...?

2009-11-16T23:19:00.003-08:00

Instead of getting crazy like most Pats fans, buying gear and counting the days with them... BRADY is in New York City enjoying better pizza, better world class restaurants, hanging with a Brazilian model in their lower Manhattan apt., walking to florists and amazing food stores and little shops, nuzzling while they hold her tiny handheld terrier-dog... and taking in everything that's New York... ah, it's like we have 2 quarterbacks in ONE Super Bowl... and both of them will help the Giants win. CAN'T WAIT.

Tom Brady lives in Manhattan... that's got to hurt Pats fans...?
A quote from Tom "Cry" Brady, "I Love New York". .....LOL
Reply:I believe that would be HER apartment.

Patriots 49, Giants 13
Reply:O no I think you upset them- ha ha!! What does that say about Brady? Let him waddle around in a cast eating our famous pizza. We know our QB is dissecting everything about the PATS. Go Giants
Reply:Well, that is not too bad. Belickck lives in a gay porn thrater. I would take Manhattan any day.
Reply:Because we all know that rich football players only have one house.
Reply:Well I wouldn't necessarily call New York the best city on earth, but compared to Boston? Yeah, much much better.

The thing I'm wondering is, how is Brady allowed to walk around the streets of New York without some crazed Giant fan not going all Tonya Harding on him?
Reply:Who cares where he lives? He plays in New England, so suck it.
Reply:I dont think he will be so welcome there anymore when he beats the hell out of the giants
Reply:What astro-turf ?Glendale has a grass field that rolls out of the stadium , gets some sun and then rolls back in .
Reply:so what...

and the NY Giants and Jets fans have to go to NJ for their games... so what...

you really need to get a life
Reply:Gee..do you think the NEW JERSEY GIANTS live here...........How often do you run into them when grabbing a Bud.......
Reply:do u realize that soo many prof players are not from the state they play for?...eli and peyton manning are brotehrs and play for 2 different states yet they must be from the place correct....so shutup it doesnt matter where he lives alls that matters is he is representing new england and he does a damn good job at it
Reply:If he helps the Giants win, there will have to be a psychopathic terrorist forcing him to. Only way that'll happen, bro!
Reply:Giselle lives there and he staying with her dummy.
Reply:Get over yourself. Your arrogance is a perfect recipe and will taste wonderful in your mouth when you lose in 2 weeks. Your glorification of New York is laughable. I would like to list the many reasons why Boston is mucn more liveable, but I dont feel like wasting my time trying to be as self centered as you. I "CANT WAIT" either. Thanks for the chuckle on a tuesday morning.
Reply:Um actually idiot he lives in Boston, his girlfriend lives in New York.
Reply:rofl.. you think the Giants are going to win?
Reply:Dude, if anything that should piss you off. I know it pisses me off to see him walking around my city in his NY Yankee hat as if he's a real fan. I know it's silly but I can't stand the guy or the fact that he continues to beat my team into the ground (I'm woman enough to admit it.) so when I see pics of him in my city and hear his claims that its "so great" it make me wonder "Weren't you the guy leading the 'Yankees Suck' chant at your super bowl parade a few years back?" C'mon Tom you're so much better than that.
Reply:New York has one football team. They play way upstate and they didnt make the playoffs unfortunately...Brady can go wherever the hell he wants as long as he keeps doing what hes been doing. I think Brady would visit Gisele in a swamp if thats where she lived. But i wont stoop to your level and trash NYC. its a great city. Too bad you cant brag about your sports this millenium though....
Reply:/\

I agree been to NY and it was disgusting

yeah your teams play in NJ
Reply:Using your logic ( or lack of ) THE NEW JERSEY GIANTS are playing in the SUPERBOWL..........JERSEY has TWO PRO footbal teams.........How DO you LIKE that........I guess that shut you up quick...LOSER
Reply:you can say that again!!!!

LOL!!! Giselle Bundchen is suckin tom brady's energy before the superbowl!!! just like jessica simpson to tony romo!!! LOL
Reply:New York's team is not in the Super Bowl. The Bills did not even make the playoffs. Did you forget that NYC does not have a football team. The Boston Patriots were smart enough to change their name when they moved.
Reply:He lives in the Village near my apartment.

He once parked in my parking lot.

He wants to live in a BETTER city.
Reply:He's ours, wherever he lives.
Reply:New York City is filthy!

rats and bums peeing on themselves

it only looks nice at night time when its all lit up and u see the lights - but daytime its just dirty and filthy
Reply:Tell yourself whatever you want - he has a $2 million dollar condo in Comm Ave in Boston. He is just visiting her!

Yeah and when they aren't in New York they are taking pictures of them here.

You are such a loser, do your research...I don't remember Tom saying he was going to play for the Giants. You can only wish that was true BECAUSE WE ARE GOING TO TAKE THE TROPHY OVER NEW YORK AGAIN - IN ANOTHER SPORT

Ha Ha hater
Reply:Huh.

You fail at stalking.

Smokey the Bear?

2009-11-16T23:19:00.002-08:00

There was once a monk who liked to peddle flowers in front of a large shopping establishment. He was a very annoying fellow, who would constantly beseech you to buy his flowers, and when you refused he would curse you with all the fire and brimstone he could muster.

This was very annoying to the patrons of the shopping center and they began to take their business elsewhere. The businessmen became upset, because this fellow was driving away all the shoppers.

One day, one of them got an idea. He ran off to the cattle yard and purchased a lamb. He came back, climbed to the roof of the building, and threw the lamb over the side, killing the monk below as he was selling flowers. The other business men came up to him and asked, "Why did you do that?!"

He replied, "I had to. Only ewes can stop florist friars."

Smokey the Bear?
LOL Clever I actually got it and liked it. ewes= sheep =you
Reply:A little funny , A little more cnfusing.
Reply:uhh... i get it now, but its not funny
Reply:Yews can stop forest fires....LMAO!!!!

Prom Corsage - help?

2009-11-16T23:19:00.001-08:00

So I'm buying a corsage for my date. I know its going to be pink roses. So the florists in town charge like $35, but like if i go to Stop and Shop, its like $15-20. I don't want her to feel bad if i get the smaller one esp. cuz prom means a lot to her. But does it really matter? maybe i'm overthinking this...

Prom Corsage - help?
use the florist route. call several for info on whats is the most requested choices and try to get one that goes with the colors of her dress and skin tone think about her hair color too flowers come in a wide variety of colors . orchids are expensive but beautiful and something of a status symble. never go for the bargain buys, this is a special occasion, not something for everyday.
Reply:the price may differ, but its more about the quality. If the $35 one is better, get that. Also you can feel good about getting the best one for her. I had the same problem and i did the florist one and it was sooo much better.

The perfect day for her?

2009-11-16T23:19:00.000-08:00

8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses

8:30 Weigh-in 2 kgs lighter than yesterday

8:45 Breakfast in bed—freshly squeezed orange juice and

croissants; open presents- expensive jewellery chosen by

thoughtful partner

9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil

10:00 Light work-out at club with sexy, funny personal trainer

10:30 Facial, manicure, makeup application, shampoo, condition,

blow wave

12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor café

12:45 Catch sight of partner’s ex and notice that she has gained

17 kgs

1:00 Shopping with friends: unlimited credit

3:00 Nap

4:00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist; card is from

secret admirer

4:15 Massage from strong but gentle hunk—says he rarely gets

to work on such a perfect body

5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe

7:30 Candlelit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments

received from other diners/ dancers

10:00 Hot shower- alone

10:50 Carried to bed… freshly ironed, crisp, white linen

11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling

11:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms

The perfect day for her?
er, where's the question? eeek, falling asleep in JUST big strong arms? that's weird and you can go to prison for that sort of thing
Reply:" S***I***G***H "

WAKE UP NOW! That sounds too good to be true.

OK go back to sleep and dream some more, there is nothing wrong with dreaming BIG!

Christian friend in Pa.

Evening TINK!
Reply:lol
Reply:Interesting, but where's the sex? ^_^
Reply:Omg, that is my dream day to the letter! I soo wish that was today, but im stuck going to a basketball game with my school and im playin in the band. o well.
Reply:i like ur guy girl things. so true too.
Reply:no thanks!!
Reply:how is thast funny?
Reply:Nice! 10/10. I wish real life were like that though.
Reply:Good one.!!!
Reply:Pack it up , you'l want me to help you push the car next lol
Reply:uh wow i would NEVER want a day like that in my life...

what's life without some flaws??

B O R I N G.
Reply:not being female i wouldnt know but its worth full marks
Reply:thanks for the laugh

mobile

Need help...badly!?

2009-11-16T23:18:00.002-08:00

Does anyone of you know how often a typical florist buy flowers from wholesalers to sell in their own shops? Because Im not sure if they do it everyday or weekly or every after 3 days...whatever..because they do something to preserve them right?or to make them stay longer?i just dont know how....(if there are)...

Please...need help its for my Business studies coursework..

have no time to ask a florist..

im desperate!

Need help...badly!?
I believe they do go every day, very early in the morning when the floral markets open so that they can get the freshest and most desirable flowers. Often they need specific flowers for contracted arrangements, like weddings, funerals, proms, etc., and daily trips are required because fresh flowers don't stay fresh very long.

Here's some more information on Florists that might come in handy, from the U.S. Department of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics Occupational Outlook Handbook section on florists: http://www.bls.gov/oco/ocos292.htm

Significant Points

Job opportunities should be good because of relatively high replacement needs stemming from low starting pay and limited advancement opportunities

.

Floral design is the only design specialty that does not require formal postsecondary training.

Many floral designers work long hours on weekends and holidays, filling orders and setting up decorations for weddings and other events.

About 1 out of 3 is self-employed.

Nature of the Work

Floral designers, or florists, cut live, dried, or silk flowers and other greenery and arrange them into displays of various sizes and shapes. They design these displays by selecting flowers, containers, and ribbons and arranging them into bouquets, corsages, centerpieces of tables, wreaths, and the like for weddings, funerals, holidays, and other special occasions. Some floral designers also utilize accessories such as balloons, candles, toys, candy, and gift baskets as part of their displays.

Job duties can vary by type of employment setting. Most floral designers work in small independent floral shops that specialize in custom orders and also handle large orders for weddings, caterers, or interior designers. Floral designers may meet with customers to discuss the arrangement or work from a written order. They note the occasion, the customer’s preferences, the price of the order, the time the floral display or plant is to be ready, and the place to which it is to be delivered. For special occasions, floral designers usually will help set up floral decorations. Floral designers also will prearrange a few displays to have available for walk-in customers or last-minute orders. Some floral designers also assist interior designers in creating live or silk displays for hotels, restaurants, and private residences.

Some florists work in the floral departments of grocery stores or for Internet florists, which specialize in creating prearranged floral decorations and bouquets. These floral retailers also may fill small custom orders for special occasions and funerals, but some grocery store florists do not deliver to clients or handle large custom orders. Florists who work for wholesale flower distributors assist in the selection of different types of flowers and greenery to purchase and sell to retail florists. Wholesale floral designers also select flowers for displays that they use as examples for retail florists.

Self-employed floral designers must handle the various aspects of running their own businesses, such as selecting and purchasing flowers, hiring and supervising staff, and maintaining financial records. Self-employed designers also may run gift shops or wedding consultation businesses in addition to providing floral design services. Some conduct design workshops for amateur gardeners or others with an interest in floral design.

Working Conditions

Most floral designers work in comfortable, well-lit spaces in retail outlets or at home, although working outdoors is sometimes required. Designers also may frequently make short trips delivering flowers, setting up arrangements for special events, and procuring flowers and other supplies.

Floral designers have frequent contact with customers and must work to satisfy their demands, including last-minute holiday and funeral orders. Because many flowers are perishable, most orders cannot be completed too far in advance. As a result, some designers often work long hours before and during holidays. Some also work nights and weekends to complete large orders for weddings and other special events.

Floral designers may suffer muscle strain from long periods of standing and from repeated finger and arm movements required to make floral arrangements. They are susceptible to back strain from lifting and carrying heavy flower arrangements. Designers also may suffer allergic reactions to certain types of pollen when working with flowers. In addition, they frequently use sharp objects—scissors, knives, and metal wire—that can cause injuries if handled improperly.
Reply:I don't know how often florist buy flowers I would think this would depend on the individual business. But I do know that most of their flowers go into a frige like cooler that set at like 55 degrees which keeps the flowers from drying out and dying.

Hope this helps.

Men and women's different ideas?

2009-11-16T23:18:00.001-08:00

THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER

8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses

8:30 Weigh-in 5 lbs lighter than yesterday

8:45 Breakfast in bed - freshly squeezed orange juice and warm croissants; open presents - expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner

9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil

10:00 Light work-out at club with sexy, funny personal trainer

10:30 Facial, manicure, makeup application, shampoo, condition, blow wave

12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor café

12:45 Catch sight of partner's ex and notice that she has gained 22 lbs

1:00 Shopping with friends: unlimited credit

3:00 Nap

4:00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist; card is from secret admirer

4:15 Massage from strong but gentle hunk - says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body

5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe

7:30 Candlelit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/ dancers

10:00 Hot shower - alone

10:50 Carried to bed. Freshly ironed, crisp, white linen

11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling

11:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms

THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM

6:00 Alarm

6:01 BJ

6:30 Massive, satisfying **** while reading the sports section

7:00 Breakfast - steak and eggs, coffee, and toast - all cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growler

7:30 Limo arrives

7:45 Several mircrobrew beers en route to the airport

9:15 Flight in personal Lear jet

9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (BJ en-route)

9:45 Play front nine (2 under par)

11:45 Lunch - steak and lobster, 3 beers and bottle of Dom Perignon

12:15 BJ

12:30 Play back nine (4 under)

2:15 Limo back to airport (several shots of 12 year old bourbon)

2:30 Fly to Bahamas

3:30 Late afternoon fishing expedition with all-female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot showing their growlers

4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234 lbs) on light tackle

5:00 Fly home, massage and teasing, slow, soft hand job by naked Elle Macpherson (bending over showing her growler, naturally)

6:45 ****, shower and shave

7:00 Watch news - Michael Jackson assassinated by Rev Al Sharpton

7:30 Dinner - lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy grass fed rib steak, followed by ice cream served on a big pair of ****

9:00 Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigars in front of wall - sized TV as you watch football game

9:30 Sex with three women, all of whom display eager lesbian kinkiness while you rest in between

11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer

11:30 Night-cap BJ

11:45 In bed, alone

11:50 A 22-second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room

11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep

Men and women's different ideas?
LMAO...I really liked that one you definitely get a star because that's about how it is...for the guys anyway. I only wish that's how it was for me with the shopping, massages, etc.
Reply:hehehe funny :-)
Reply:Is this funny?

Sexism?
Reply:You know, I NEVER find blatant sexism funny...EVER.
Reply:Reading through the first part I thought this is getting a bit gushy but then I started reading the second one and just couldn't stop laughing it's ALL true..............Well worth a star.
Reply:ha ha ha that sounds about right...
Reply:Thats funny.
Reply:funny
Reply:loved it copied it .

Are the Old Messages of Rebellion and Change being Rebranded to Corrupt and Trivialize their Meanings?

2009-11-16T23:18:00.000-08:00

I watch in continuing amazement as another protest song from the 1960's assails me in the form of piped Muzak in a shopping mall. "Where have all the flowers gone" at the florist.

One of the most popular bands in the 1990s in the Uk advocated "girl power"

here is some of what they sung:

"Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,

So tell me what you want, what you really really want,

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really

really really wanna zigazig ha. "

The defining album of "girl power" is wanting "zigazig ha"

Is this an illustration of how consumerism conspires to quell opposition. Take the leading edge method, remove most of the meaning from it, and market it as "edgy and rebellious"?

When it means next to nothing?

Are the Old Messages of Rebellion and Change being Rebranded to Corrupt and Trivialize their Meanings?

Are the Old Messages of Rebellion and Change being Rebranded to Corrupt and Trivialize their Meanings?
I hate to trot out a cliche, but it was different in the 60s, and NOT in a bad way. Basically speaking, the 60s was the decade with the most "be different" mentality, as opposed to the 00s "be the same". "Zigazig ha" can mean anything you want it to, but a 12-year-old can still buy the CD. Do you know how long it took me, and I'm laughing at myself here, to figure out that "Little Red Corvette" had nothing to do with a car?

Consumerism, almost by definition, DOES quell opposition. Everyone has to have the same thing, everyone has to be cool, but there has to be just enough "difference" among all the "samenesses" for people to think they are being individuals. So, add a guitar or 3, take away a violin or 2, and you can write the same song for any number of musical genres (just to follow your musical analogy).

AND Consumerism as seen above is doing its best to also quell any new messages of rebellion and change. When people think Fallout Boy and Slipknot are "rebellion" we've got a long way to go. Rebellion is best led, sorry all, by the intelligent rather than something that is allowed (and I do mean allowed) to go mainstream. Lennon was no dummy.
Reply:What about Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want To Have Fun" (?)

I at least understand what that means. (Then, she also wrote, True Colors.) I don't get zigazig ha!

I don't think these are the same messages.

I loved John Lennon's "Imagine." I haven't heard anything like that, recently.

Perhaps, we have all become trivial and don't care about anything beyond our own zig or frig. Appears so.

C. :)!!
Reply:hahaha...my son was so enamored with the spice girls when he was six or so that one of my pet names for him was stinky spice. thank you for tapping into that most pleasant memory, we laughed for days.

ahem, allow me to gather my composure. i don't think that we can seriously compare the spice girls with the likes of john lennon, joan baez, or bob dylon. consider if you will the demographics. those who appreciated the lyrics of rebellious artists were more likely to be of legal voting age. further, their music wasn't really mainstream. people buying into that genre were generally on the fringe and welcomed representation of their already formed views. if these icons of past generations have modern peers i am not aware of them. if you are please share.
Reply:Your question incorrectly assumes that the inexplicably capitalized "Old Messages of Rebellion and Change" weren't trivial to begin with.

Boutonnieres: Florists vs Grocery Stores?

2009-11-16T23:17:00.003-08:00

Hi,

I'm getting a boutonniere for my prom date and was wondering your opinions on whether I should go to a grocery store (Big Y) or a floral shop to buy it. I know that grocery stores tend to be cheaper, but how does the quality compare? Thanks

Boutonnieres: Florists vs Grocery Stores?
Florist if you want quality

Grocery store if you're short on money.

Go to the florist though, I mean it's your prom. It'd suck to have a gorgeous dress and have tacky grocery store flowers lol :)

platform flip flops

REALLY dumb question?

2009-11-16T23:17:00.002-08:00

When shopping for a boutonniere...?

and corsage...is it alright if my boyfriend and I go into the florist together? Or are we not supposed to do that? lol I feel so dumb asking but I've never done this before!!

REALLY dumb question?
It's not a dumb question at all...It's your choice. If you go to the florist with him it would be really fun and you could pick them together...However, if you let him go by himself he can surprise you on the special night! He can show his love for you by picking a beautiful corsage. It would be so exciting to be waiting to see what it will look like. If you have him go make sure he knows the color of your dress though and good luck!!!
Reply:It all depends on how you want to do it Theres no wrong way of shopping.

Some people like to be surprised and be like "Wow, look at this beautiful corsage that my boyfriend picked out all by himself! :DDD"

And some people like to go to make SURE that they get it right.

And shopping together could be fun. :]

Its all personal preference.
Reply:You do not have to feel dumb - if you've never done it, how are you going to know?

It is perfectly fine for both of you to go together and pick out matching floral decorations. A long time ago, these items were given as gifts and that's why the men would generally pick out their girl's and the girl her guys. They aren't gifts anymore, so ya'll can pick them out together.

Have fun!
Reply:yes that is okay, but this is what i would do...

i would go into the florist with him, but tell him that I want him to pick it out for me, and that I want it to be a surprise. Then I would wait outside and when he brought it for me, i would be really excited and hug and kiss him. :)
Reply:are you kidding me... is it a wedding? Because the only thing you really should never take that special someone shopping for is a wedding dress. Stop being a crazy person and just take him if you want to or don't if you wish to go shopping by yourself.
Reply:No, you do not go shopping for it together. The guy is supposed to get it without you, and surprise you with it.
Reply:Uhhhhhhhh.

There. A REALLY dumb answer for your REALLY dumb question. Which wasn't actually that dumb. Yes it is alright.
Reply:I think its supposed to be a surprise. As long as you know what eachother is wearing it shouldnt be a problem to get one for eachother.
Reply:Its Okay if you do that, its sweet too, but don't MAKE him, if he doesn't want to, don't try to make him.
Reply:its no big deal going to the florist lol men are allowed in there hey doesnt that make it okay for them to walk into victoria secrets lol anyways
Reply:sure you can go together! This will make it all that much more fun!
Reply:I believe its traditional for him to chose by himself. You could hint to him ones you like but final say should be his.
Reply:These days it's perfectly fine to go pick them out together.
Reply:I don't think there's any wrong or right way to do this. Start a trend: but the flowers with or without your boyfriend. Have fun and don't stress it.
Reply:i think it would be better to suprise each other. but just make sure you no the basic color each of you are wearing so that the flowers wont clash.
Reply:yes. its best if you go together. fine the colors of your dress. his tux. to match it
Reply:It is ok cause you want the colors and flowers to match.
Reply:it's perfectly fine to go together these days.
Reply:No that isn't a stupid question. Yes you two can go into together. It's fine. Have fun.
Reply:It is all for fun. Going together is sweet.
Reply:HOLY CRAP! The Undertaker just lost to Edge in a TLC match!!! Now he's gone from the WWE!!!!

NOOOOOO!!!!!!
Reply:yea it's fine if you both go in together
Reply:if u like goin to do stuf like that wit him then go.... but if ur a lil old fashioned like some girls then don.... up to u good luk on makin up ur mind.....
Reply:yeah, it's not a wedding dress, or an engagement ring, so go for it. no big deal.
Reply:whatever you want to do.
Reply:its ok
Reply:go for it
Reply:ask your mom.
Reply:ya thats fine. nothing wrong with that.
Reply:its ur prom u set up the rules.

Perfect day for her funny wait for the next one?

2009-11-16T23:17:00.001-08:00

The Perfect Day for Her:

8:15 Wakeup to hugs and kisses

8:30 Weigh in 5lbs lighter than yesterday

8:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants 9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil 10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer

10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo and comb out

12:00 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe

12:45 Notice ex-boyfriends wife, she has gained 30lbs

1:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit

3:00 Nap

4:00 3 dozens roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer

4:15 Light workout at club, followed by gentle massage

5:30 Pick out outfit for dinner, prim before the mirror

7:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing

10:00 Hot shower (alone)

10:30 Make love

11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling

11:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms

Perfect day for her funny wait for the next one?
good 1 pmsl 10/10 x
Reply:Yeah.. that pretty much sums up a perfect day
Reply:WOHHHHHH WHAT A PERFECT DAY.
Reply:thats w4nk
Reply:sounds good to me
Reply:lol

that's pretty good

♥

Are there any amusingly named shops in your area?

2009-11-16T23:17:00.000-08:00

Pickalily - Florist

Selly Sausage - Cafe in the area of Selly Oak.

Are in my locality.

Are there any amusingly named shops in your area?
When I lived in West Haven, Ct there was a bait shop called Master Bait and Tackle! True!
Reply:this is not in my area but ive seen a place named Moose Necks. I saw it and thought it was funny.. but also kinda disturbing..
Reply:There is an estate agent in Reading called Vanderpump %26amp; Wellbelove, sounds like its run by pornstars.
Reply:There is a dirty book store here that sells more than dirty books of course, anyway its called Condoms Plus and another store called Gay Mart.
Reply:In a town called Beecher,a store called Beecher meats and a shop called Beecher tool and die!!!
Reply:Master Bakers
Reply:nearby is "supertramps" ladies clothing
Reply:Barber Blacksheep

Brighton Wok-chinese restaurant

Right Hair, Right Now

Pulp Kitchen-restaurant

Wooden It Be Nice- carpenters

A Pane in the Glass- double glazing

Boa Constructors-Building firm

BURGER OFF

and my personal fave ...'always a good erection'- scaffolding
Reply:Which Wich -sandwich shop

BJ Services -oil services
Reply:There's a tiny little corner shop near here called Raja's One-Stop General Store Off-License And Video Emporium.
Reply:A chinese restuarant Ho Lee Chow

Wooden Heads Pizza
Reply:There is an autobody shop in my old hometown, called

Wreck-a-mended
Reply:Scissor Trix was one lol!
Reply:Not in my area but i've heard of "Curl up and Dye" Hair salon

Just remembered, In Bracknell,Berkshire there is a Kebab Van called "moorats" (more rats)

Perfect day for a woman true or false?

2009-11-16T23:16:00.003-08:00

8:15

Wake up to hugs and kisses.

8:30

Weigh 5lbs. lighter than yesterday

8:45

Breakfast in bed, squeezed

orange juice and croissants

9:15

Soothing hot bath with

fragrant lilac bath oil

10:00

Light workout at club with

handsome, funny personal trainer.

10:30

Facial , manicure, shampoo, and comb out.

12:00

Lunch with best friend at an outdoor cafe.

12:45

Notice exboyfriend’s wife, she has gained 30 lbs.

1:00

Shopping with friends.

3:00

Nap.

4:00

A dozen roses delivered by florist.

Card is from a secret admirer.

4:15

Light workout at club followed

by a gentle massage.

5:30

Pick outfit for dinner.

Primp before mirror.

7:30

Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing.

10:00

Hot shower. Alone.

10:30

Make love.

11:00

Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling

11:15

Fall asleep in his big, strong arms.

Perfect day for a woman true or false?
LOL where's the mens 10/10
Reply:True...so how do you die and go to heaven, come back to earth and manage to do this all day?
Reply:Erm maybe for most women.. but for me I'd prefer a lot more sleep and perhaps a trip to a rockin' gig in the evening. I wouldn't say no to pizza either!!

'_'
Reply:false
Reply:Must be the entertainment side of this category. RRRRRRREEEEEAAAAAALLLLLLYYYYYYY entertaining
Reply:not so bad
Reply:Life's hard enough I'm definitely not letting Mrs T see this .
Reply:sooo perfect, its like you read my mind!!!!
Reply:Ha Ha! Good one! lol!
Reply:yeah but it will never happen to me all in one day!! LOL.*_*
Reply:Yeah that does sound like a great day!
Reply:Oh yes.xx
Reply:now give us the men's version with the golf and bl*w jobs!
Reply:yeah right..I wish lol ;)
Reply:One can but dream.
Reply:None of the women ever experience this.
Reply:oh wow I'd love that
Reply:Only 30 mins love making?? Pleased she`s not mine.
Reply:Paris's life
Reply:haha, dont get the joke but....?!?
Reply:false
Reply:twud b nice

motor scooter

Need help...badly!?

2009-11-16T23:16:00.002-08:00

A couple of girlfriends?

2009-11-16T23:16:00.001-08:00

A couple of girlfriends of mine (a blonde and a brunette of course) Were out shopping and they passed the florists.

They looked through the window, and the brunette said "Oh my God, that's my boyfriend inside and he's buying me flowers"

"What's wrong with that ?" said the blonde "Don't you like flowers ?"

"Oh yes of course I do" said the brunette "but he will have expectations......"

"... and the last thing I want to do is spend the whole weekend on my back with my legs in the air"

"Why ?" said the blonde "Don't you have vase ?"

A couple of girlfriends?
Oh my goodness funny!!!
Reply:Very Funny
Reply:wow funny and gross my type of stylee baby
Reply:LOL thats sooooo funny but gross
Reply:Lol fun with flowers
Reply:funny
Reply:NOW THATS FUNNY OR FANNY..
Reply:LoL The image that came into my head on the punchline was great!

Here is kidds joke for u and i hope u enjoy...happy new year?

2009-11-16T23:16:00.000-08:00

Overconfidence of a teacher..................?

2009-11-16T23:15:00.002-08:00

WHANT SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL................?Click here.....?

2009-11-16T23:15:00.001-08:00

A shopkeepr opens his newly opened shop and is amazed to

find a flower at the door with a tag wid remark"Very sad end"

He was wonderin when the phone rang and on pivcking up the phone,

he finds a flourist appologisin for sent the wrong flowers .

Shopkeeper says"Dont mind! I being myself a Businessman can understad U"

But The florist still expresses his grieve saying that he had sent his bunch to a FUNERAL With a tag quoted:

"CONGRATULATIONS ON UR NEW LOCATION !!!!!!!!!!!"

WHANT SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL................?Click here.....?
really funnyyy. like it

take a star
Reply:Lol. =]
Reply:Here's a star
Reply:haha

funny

hilarious
Reply:ha ha ha ha

very good one have a star
Reply:ha ha.

Like Tribond. Each set has something in common can you find it?

2009-11-16T23:15:00.000-08:00

-Florist, Furniture Store%26amp;Obstetrician.

-Radio, Car Engine, Piano.

-Map, Wallet, Laundry.

-The road, The books, The roof.

-Shirt, Barbell, Elevator Button.

-Toy Box, Football Game, City Map.

-Jacuzzi, New York, West Side Story.

-Space Shuttle Opera Houses, Tour de France.

-Ballet Company, High School, Mortgage.

-Cemetery, Guy Fawkes, Novel

-Hair, Door, Teeth.

-Symphony, Florida, Door.

-Sketch, Blood, Bath.

-Arrow, Stairs, Airline.

-Coffee Shop, Football Player, Brassiere.

-Dishwasher, Camera, Bill Gates.

-Turkey, Store Window, Wound.

-Punch, Hair, Volleyball.

-Compass, Pencil, Scrabble.

-Baseball, Dump, Jeans.

-Old Testament, Dog Show, Tennis Tourney.

Can you solve them?

Like Tribond. Each set has something in common can you find it?
-Florist, Furniture Store%26amp;Obstetrician--all make deliveries

-Radio, Car Engine, Piano-- all get tuned

-Shirt, Barbell, Elevator Button- can all be pressed

-Space Shuttle Opera Houses, Tour de France- all have stages

-Hair, Door, Teeth- can be pulled

-Punch, Hair, Volleyball-can be spiked

-Map, Wallet, Laundry- get folded

-Arrow, Stairs, Airline- have flights

Coffee Shop, Football Player, Brassiere-cups

-Sketch, Blood, Bath-drawn

Turkey, Store Window, Wound-- dressed/dressing

Any idea where to start looking for an arch?

2009-11-16T23:14:00.003-08:00

My wedding is going to be in a backyard now so I need to pull everything together. I've only seen one arch at a craft shop for about $20 but it was really cheap %26amp; flimsy. Where else do you go for that? Has anyone seen them at Home Depot, etc.? I couldn't find any on the website. I'm still keeping my florist who will be decorating the arch with a large center spray on top %26amp; some tool for the sides so it doesn't have to be incredible or anything. It's not really going to show. But, I also don't want it falling apart. Any ideas?

Any idea where to start looking for an arch?
check for party rental companies in your area. Everywhere has them and you can rent a wedding arch from them if you don't like the one from the store.

Honestly though, I know it looks flimsy in the store but it also isn't anchored properly. It wont' fall down or anything so unless you're getting marred in a hurricane you should be fine.
Reply:Yes, Home Depot has them (look in the garden section); also, E-bay might be the place to look.
Reply:I saw some thru oriental trading.
Reply:http://www.wrapwithus.com/wedding-arches...

I found theses ones and we might be getting one of them just because it comes with lights and stuff and we can decorate it however we want. B y the way we like the one that is for 30 or whatever it was.
Reply:My mother got a beautiful one from Canadian Tire (I'm from Canada). Check out websites like Home Depot or Sears. I'm sure you will find some. Also, Michaels had a really pretty one (here) but it was quite expensive.
Reply:Instead of spending $20 on an arch you may only use once, you can rent a strong arch from your local rental store. Check the yellow pages for Rental Service Stores. You can check a couple different places in the area to find the best price.
Reply:If you have a friend who's handy with a saw and screw driver, ask them if they would be willing to build you one-you'll buy the wood, screws, etc. and then THAT is thier wedding gift to you. You'll get exactly what you want, and you'll own it afterwards. It can become a garden decoration, or even a unique fixture in your house.

I've been doing that with a lot of the things I need for my wedding- my sister made my dress, a friend is doing photography, another friend is doing music for the ceremony. Since all my friends are flat broke, they seem to love the idea of giving a service instead of serving ware.
Reply:Most Party rental shops have them and can be rented for the day for approx. $20.00.
Reply:see if you can find a contractor in your area. I'm sure you can find one to build on for you pretty cheap. Otherwise, find rental stores in your area, they'll have some pretty sturdy ones.
Reply:My wedding was outside and on the beach. I rented my arch from the florist. Call around. I'm sure that some florists rent them.
Reply:I've seen them at Home Depot, craft stores, and the florist shops that I looked at. Or you could rent one. You can order them from a ton of places on the internet if you don't care if you see it in person beforehand.

Here is metal ones

http://www.save-on-crafts.com/meargawece...

There are even some on e-bay very cheap

http://search.ebay.com/search/search.dll...

Joke!!!!!!!!!!!1?

2009-11-16T23:14:00.002-08:00

It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her k. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets." "That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher. The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with some excitement.The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with more excitement.The teacher took

Joke!!!!!!!!!!!1?
My God!!! Damn funny joke.....

Thanks !!!!! :D
Reply:NICE

ahahahahaha ew ahahahahahah gross ahahaha
Reply:AWWWW

a puppy!

lol

hahahah

that was reall niiiceeeee

thanks for the laugh!
Reply:oh ew. cute joke.
Reply:yay I want a puppy =)

this shows how students CAN be smarter than teachers

but the teacher could dob in the student to the animal rights people for wrapping the puppy up and putting it in a box =(

i think to much

*STAR FOR YOU*
Reply:lol, star for you
Reply:really...a cute 1

teachers are clever

sudents are cleverer...
Reply:LOL! Cute! A star for you.
Reply:That is FUNNY!

The ONLY joke in YA that made me laugh!

=D
Reply:ha ha ha! that's funny.
Reply:eww.

funny though.
Reply:great star for you
Reply:LOL

Pretty funny!

Cheers!

:)

dress shoes

Can You solve these for me?

2009-11-16T23:14:00.001-08:00

Each set of three has something in common....you dont have to do all...just some would help. :]

-Florist, Furniture Store%26amp;Obstetrician.

-Radio, Car Engine, Piano.

-Map, Wallet, Laundry.

-The road, The books, The roof.

-Shirt, Barbell, Elevator Button.

-Toy Box, Football Game, City Map.

-Jacuzzi, New York, West Side Story.

-Space Shuttle Opera Houses, Tour de France.

-Ballet Company, High School, Mortgage.

-Cemetery, Guy Fawkes, Novel

-Hair, Door, Teeth.

-Symphony, Florida, Door.

-Sketch, Blood, Bath.

-Arrow, Stairs, Airline.

-Coffee Shop, Football Player, Brassiere.

-Dishwasher, Camera, Bill Gates.

-Turkey, Store Window, Wound.

-Punch, Hair, Volleyball.

-Compass, Pencil, Scrabble.

-Baseball, Dump, Jeans.

-Old Testament, Dog Show, Tennis Tourney.

I know its a lot but it would be great if you could help me with some. Thanks. :]

Can You solve these for me?
I'm not sure I know what you mean by having something in common - can you give an example?
Reply:Man that was great joke!!!!!!!

You deserve a star!

Want a part II game to go with Mr. Right shower game I submitted?

2009-11-16T23:14:00.000-08:00

CONCLUSION TO RIGHT LEFT BRIDAL SHOWER GAME

See how many people really listened to what you were reading. This game can be played right after you

have read the right/left bridal shower story or play another game and then go back to these questions.

You'll be surprised at the guests who were so busy listening for the words right or left that they can't

remember the answers to these questions.

Questions: Answers:

1. What time did the bride leave that day? after lunch

2. Where was her first stop? Moms house

3. Where did she leave her to do list? living room table

4. What did she leave Mom in charge of? the guest list

5. On her way to find invitations, who did she leave a

message with? the florist

6. Where was the church? down the road from Moms

7. How many days until wedding day? 45

8. Where did she see her wedding dress? in the window

9. Where was her checkbook? left in the car

10. Where was Mr. Right? at work

11. When did she call Mr. Right? when she left the bridal shop

12. Who was the one person Mr. Right left a message with? preacher

13. Where did Mr. Right and future Ms. Right go together

first? to find the rings

14. When they returned home, the message left was to tell

them what? Mom requested the church

15. How many places did one or both of them go into today

for wedding stuff? 5

The guest with the most correct answers, wins.

Want a part II game to go with Mr. Right shower game I submitted?
Awesome. Thanks for the games.

practice dance shoes

Its a oldie but bet the kids will love it funny or not?

2009-11-16T23:13:00.003-08:00

It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.

The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "

That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?"

"Oh, just a wild guess," she said.

The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter.

The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."

"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl.

"Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.

The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue.

"Is it wine?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied, with some excitement.

The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue.

"Is it champagne?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied, with more excitement.

The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?"

With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"

Its a oldie but bet the kids will love it funny or not?
hahahahahahahaahhahahahohohohohohhoho

noooooo!!!!!!

that pooooooorrrr teacher......hahahahah

no sympathy....some teachers deserve more than that.
Reply:Good one, disgusting enough for my youngest son to enjoy telling. LOL :-)
Reply:Very funny

thanks for the laugh
Reply:very funny not heard that one :)
Reply:wow...i wanna have a puppy
Reply:ha ha ha funny

thanks for a laugh
Reply:haaahahaha Didn't see it coming!!
Reply:that was funny
Reply::) haha, gud 1 !
Reply:lmao! love it.
Reply:Haha excellent
Reply:lol funny
Reply:not bad.oxo
Reply:Funny
Reply:HAHA! FUNNY! STAR! *
Reply:why are the ones that make you go yuck the best.

hahahahahahaha
Reply:ewwwww that disgusting

Please tell ne if this is a good joke?

2009-11-16T23:13:00.002-08:00

It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." " That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets." "That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher. The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?" With great glee, the boy replied,

"It's a puppy!"

Please tell ne if this is a good joke?
lol i like it :P made me laugh and im in college at the min, i bet i look like a right idiot laughing at my screen lol.. anyways yea i think its a good joke, i swear ive heard it somewhere before a long time ago though lol
Reply:Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha Ha Ha! Ha! I JUST CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!!! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha Ha Ha! Ha! Ha!!!

(\__/)

(o.O)

( %26gt;%26lt; )
Reply:Hmm for school age kids it would be hilarious.
Reply:On a scale from 1 to 10 I give it a 4.
Reply:Adorable... xD

And damn funny! xD

Here's a star! *
Reply:Very good.
Reply:eewwwwww
Reply:I liked it!
Reply:thats - eww- funny.
Reply:yes funny if the liquid is blood!!!!!!
Reply:To tell the truth I didn't understand the question.how can it be a puppy?please answer.
Reply:Yeah thats pretty good lol
Reply:its not hilarious, but it was OK........
Reply:yes it is !

Will you read this joke?

2009-11-16T23:13:00.001-08:00

I know this is a long joke, but I would still like to tell it to you. Please let me know when you are done reading the joke if you enjoyed it or not. Also, tell me what your rating is for it. Rate it between 1-10, or 1-5. Thanks!

At the end of the school year a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her class. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it and said, "I bet I know what it is; Flowers."

"That's right!" the boy said, "but, how did you know?"

"Oh, just a wild guess," the teacher replied.

The next student was the candy shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift, shook it and said, "I bet I can guess what it is; A box of sweets."

"That's right said the little girl, but how did you know?"

"Oh, I've been around for many years," said the teacher proudly.

The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held he package, but it was leaking so she grabbed a drop off the leaking contents with her finger and put it on her tongue for a taste test.

"Is it wine?" the teacher asked.

"NOPE," the boy replied, with some excitement.

The teacher repeated the process, tasting a larger drop of the leaking package. "Is it champagne?" she asked.

"NO MAM," he replied, with even more excitement!

The teacher with all her knowledge finally took one more big taste before admitting, "I give up. What is it?"

With an giant grin the boy replied, “SURPRISE, It's a puppy!"

Will you read this joke?
I've heard it before...
Reply:lolz
Reply:9 out of 10 I thought it was cute funny and surprisingly that she doesnt know everything
Reply:ewww

but lol!!
Reply:10/10

Had A Great Laugh
Reply:nice 8/10
Reply:UGHH!!!! That is soooo nasty! The teacher was tasting the puppy's pee!!!! I give u a 8
Reply:This is cute - on a 1 - 10 - I'll give it a 7. Keep 'em coming!

Thanks for the chuckle!
Reply:hahaha i was gonna be mean and rate it a 0 but then i read the joke and its so funny i give it a 10/10
Reply:hahahahahahahaha heard it b4 but still raised a laugh !!
Reply:lmao its the first time i have heard this and i like it!! about an 8

i don't know why people insist on telling you that they have already heard this? but i jus want them to know that i am so happy that they have heard this that i will sleep ever=so-soundly tonite!!!

Is this a bad omen?

2009-11-16T23:13:00.000-08:00

Hi. I am getting married in four weeks exactly! Yay!

However, within the last month:

-- Our pastor told us he would no longer be able to officiate

-- Our ceremony violin player had to back out because of a final exam

-- The replacement violin player dislocated her shoulder and can no longer play

-- The retired florist/ family friend who was going to do our flowers double-booked herself with another event and had to back out of our wedding

-- My dress arrived at the bridal shop, but was made from the wrong fabric

-- The first wedding present we opened together had been damaged in shipping and arrived broken

-- My car (the one we were planning to use as our getaway car after the wedding) stopped working

-- My old college back-up car was stolen (leaving me with no working vehicles)

Has anyone else had any similar experiences while planning their wedding? Please, somebody, tell me that you did, and that your wedding (and marriage) still turned out okay.

Is this a bad omen?
When it rains, it pours.. but it also says that there's rainbow after the rain.. don't be affected with all those things darling, what is really important is you and your hubby loving together and holding on even things can go wrong at times. There are still a lot of things that will come across your marriage life but with a love so strong it will mean nothing at all. Stay strong and in love'

Congratulations!

ღღღ
Reply:I keep thinking of something that was said in the SATC episode where Charlotte married Harry. The worse the wedding, the happier the marriage.

On my wedding day, the hair stylist who was supposed to do my bridesmaids hair was a no show. And a well-loved person in my church died early that morning. Nevertheless, we still had a great wedding and 8 1/2 years later we still have a great marriage.
Reply:The best known baker in town double booked and could no longer do our cake, but it's been a blessing because I found a french baker that actually knows what a belgian chocolate cigarrillo is!!!!!! So I'm thrilled with the turn of events.

Just remember something, nothing can possibly be perfect and you cannot control anything regarless of how much careful planning you have done. Relax and do your best, you will have more fun that way.

Good luck
Reply:When a door closes a window opens. It just might turn out for the best anyways.

I thought I had everything planned (cake, location, food, music) when we found out we couldnt get everyone from the cathedral to the reception location, it was for the better the wedding coordinator was very demanding and was going to change and coordinate my wedding according to what she wanted anyways.
Reply:As long as you and your future husband are truly in love and will care for and respect each other, nothing else really matters. In fifty years no one is going to care if you had to change florist or pastor....but your future children and grandchildren will care if you are still in love and going strong. Always look for what is important in life. Good luck to you!
Reply:If you want to look at it that way and let it ruin your day, I guess it is a bad omen.

However, look at all that goes into a wedding. There is so much that can go wrong that it's impossible for things not to go wrong. Just chill and deal. Enjoy the day and be happy!
Reply:Haha maybe you should tone it down a bit and have a low key ceremony.

Or maybe God's trying to remind you that you dont need all this stuff to show how much you love each other and the the only important thing is that you and him are there on your special day.
Reply:Wedding cake had salt instead of sugar, father in law made an a** of his self, lost part of jewerly, had TIna turner hair thanks to a beautician. But it worked out.
Reply:Not a bad omen at all; you're just proving you two can work through whatever life throws at you. The wedding will be all the more satesfiying knowing you two were able to manage all these obstacles.
Reply:Not a bad omen, just life.

HINT: Everything is life is an opportunity.
Reply:Take a deep breath and start from scratch... find a new pastor,florist, dress, and rent a car or a limo ! It will be alright !!!
Reply:You might be noticing all the bad things around you right now, but just take a step back and chill. Those things happen everyday...when we need them most. You and your soon to be hubby will do great.
Reply:stuff happens, just laugh about it and move on.

The only bad omen you should be looking for is if the groom doesn't show up at the altar.
Reply:Stuff happens. Don't let it throw you. Your wedding and marriage will be fine.
Reply:cancel all your plans hit priceline.com and book a triptd go to a tropical get away alone to do the wedding!
Reply:Don't worry about it i'm getting married in two months and i have had me fair share of disappointments.

-Pastor deciede to go on hoildays (were in the same boat here)

- my mother in law to be fired my DJ and hired a 50's one (because that is the music she prefers)

- i have had a bridesmaid just up and tell me that she didn't want to be apart of the wedding.

- and the best man moved to austraila without telling us and sent an email later saying that he wouldn't be able to make it.

Don't sweat the small stuff i'm sure its just god's way or fate (which ever you believe in ) of settting you on the right track for your dream wedding.

If my bridesmaid hadn't backed out then i would have never asked my other friend and half the planning would never have been done.

It will work out promise :)

BEST WISHES:)
Reply:No, it's not an omen. Yes, it is proof that the best-laid plans of mice and wedding planners "gang aft aglee."

You're worrying and planning too much. All this fuss is just grist for the wedding industry's mill, a giant waste of money, a setup for disappointment, a guarantee of severe stress, and it does nothing to ensure the long-term happiness and strength of the marriage.

If you have to get married -- never a certainty -- invite family and friends, do it at home and have a pleasant champagne brunch. We did that 15 years ago for $500 and couldn't be happier. And the 20K we saved was put into a house whose value has tripled. And not one of our guests was disappointed either. Or our parents. We saved everybody except the professional wedding vultures a ton of grief.
Reply:it depends are you looking for bad omens? if you have doubts then you may translate this as such. If you are not, then it is just regular normal hectic wedding stuff. The pastor had to right to do this so early unless he has a good reason and they usually recommend a replacement-did he? If not then ask him to. Th violonist you just happened to choose young very inovlved inviduals- i always look for older musicians that has more professionalism and dedication to the music not jsut as extra form of money. The bridal shop, however, i would throw the biggest tantrum and tell them they better get it to you in 2 weeks and a majot discount on your dress-mine was 2 weeks before the wedding not only the wrong size but the wrong style all together! About the car well i would rent one! Iw ould not use any old one that stops or unable to have security to make theives from stealing it!

comapred to mine: We RSVP for 435 people we had 763! Arabic wedding are big and it is a normal one. I decided to go by the hall before my hair and found out they are decorating the wrong colors and flowers arrangments they have confused my wedding with my friends which was two weeks away and our nmaes are the same! My head peice never SHOWED UP! I had another one made a week before.
Reply:In my culture (I am from Aruba) the superstition is that the more things go wrong at the wedding, the better the marriage will be. So here you'd be jumping for joy.

Of course we all want our weddings to be perfect and I can imagine the stress you are in. However, I will never forget a video I saw on AFHV, where there was a sudden storm during an outdoor wedding. People were running for cover, the tent was about to collapse from all the water, waiters were trying to push the water off with broomsticks, there was mud everywhere and thunder and lightning.

And among all that confusion, the bride and groom were dancing, looking into each other's eyes and smiling. They looked so happy and in love, it was amazing. THAT is what a wedding is all about.

Good luck to you. I hope you feel as blissful on your wedding day as that couple did on theirs. Even if things don't turn out as planned.
Reply:run lock your self in a closet sister that is scary stuff i would cry

sports shoes

Want a JOKE as a gift?

2009-11-16T23:12:00.003-08:00

It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Flowers." "That's right!" the boy said, "But, how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the sweet shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets." "That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher. The next gift was from the son of the liquor storeowner. The teacher held he package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop off the leakage with her finger and put it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, tasting a larger drop of the leakage. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more big taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?" With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!" SURPRISE!

Want a JOKE as a gift?
HA HA HA HA HA HA . GOSH REALLY FUNNY ONE ! GOOD WORK , THUMBS UP TO YOU , NJOY !!!
Reply:SURPRISE!.......Yes......hahaha......a good and funny one......lamo
Reply:lol, thank you. Merry Christmas to you!
Reply:merry christmas
Reply:no i don't want a joke as a gift but it is a good one.
Reply:Haha ..... nice joke ...Merry Xmas
Reply:I'm a teacher and a dog lover....THAT IS FUNNY. I'm going to use that one today at our teacher's pot luck!
Reply:what a joke ha ha ha
Reply:10/10!!!

haha!!!

MERRY XMAS!!

HOHOHO!!!! and, i have a nice, nice phrase for yah

Thanks for the gift!!!!
Reply:Hilarious and well written! Can't wait to share!
Reply:Thanks for this joke.. I really enjoyed it.
Reply:Two college football players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the Sugar Bowl the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank. The last question read, "Old MacDonald had a _________."

Bubba was stumped. He had no idea of the answer. He knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed. Making sure the professor wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder.

"Pssst. Tiny. What's the answer to the last question?"

Tiny laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor hadn't noticed then he turned to Bubba.

"Bubba, you're so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a farm."

"Oh yeah," said Bubba. "I remember now." He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. He stopped.

Reaching to tap Tiny's shoulder again, he whispered, "Tiny, how do you spell farm?"

"You are really dumb, Bubba. That's so easy. Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O."

hahaha..
Reply:Thanks for your Christmas joke . I enjoyed reading it .
Reply:Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahenge?

A: Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA - Connecting pipal.

Ravan was sent to court %26amp; was asked to keep a hand on Geeta.

He refused saying: Sita par hath rakh kar itni musibat aayi! Ab Geeta pe haath nahin rakhunga

Kuri waley Munde nu: Tusi nonveg khandey ho?

Munda: Haan

Sharaab?

Haan

Drugs?

Haan

Jua?

Haan

Sab kuch negative hai, kuch positive ve hai?

Munda: Haanji, HIV+

PROFESSOR : Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jantey ho?

MUNNA BHAI : Gandhi bahut jabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam, par apun ko yeh nehin malum ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai.
Reply:hahahaha...funny!
Reply:Horrible, but funny!
Reply:Here is your return gift

-1-

Child : (returning from his cricket match in his compound) "Mom mom ", can I have an apple?

Mom: But you just ate one.

Child : An apple a day keeps the doctor away and I just broke his window.

-2-

Child : (returns home after getting her report card)

Mother:whats your final grade?

Child : Underwater

Mother : what does that mean?

Child: Below C LEVEL

-3-

(Bollywood joke)

Jo and SO went to a forest for a trip. They saw a lion. Why did JO get scared and SO die?

Ans:- JO dar gaya SO mar gaya.

PLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASE RATE IT.

(The above one's don't understand that we have to tell a joke not read it but still I liked Rama''s answer and I rated it as a good answer)
Reply:laughing laughing i am falling off my chair!!!!!!!
Reply:hahaha
Reply:lol, merry xmas! (:
Reply:No thanks, my sister married one...%26lt;Rim Shot%26gt;

Does this sound strange to you?

2009-11-16T23:12:00.002-08:00

Today i went to my florist to make a payment on my wedding flowers. I asked for a copy of my owner and all the recipts so I could have a copy for my personl reconds, and to show my mom who is helping to pay for the wedding. She said I could not recieve these things until my order is paid in full, which won't be for awhile, and then she got an attitude with me, by saying something like" If you would pay this off sooner you can get it then". I am very upset because I've been really nice to this lady. The only reason we went with this flower shop is because my finace kept her son from being beat up in high school, and we thought she would give us a good deal. My mother and I are very upset, and we are seriously considering switching to a different florist, and launching a complaint with the BBB. I was wondering if anyone had a simlar experiance like this when planning their wedding.

Does this sound strange to you?
Personally, I would start looking for someone else. There's no reason to work with this woman, and she should be competing for your business (not scolding you because you aren't meeting her guidelines).

Any reputable business person would give you a receipt for a payment received, regardless if the payment was made in full or not. Skip the BBB complaint... my experience has been that they never do anything about it anyway. A better course of action would be to find one of those phone book review things online and give her shop an honest review based on your experience. That would hurt her more, anyway, since today that is what more people will see.
Reply:That is very strange. You need to call and ask what the big deal would be or ask to speak to a manager.

For MY personal records, I take my digital camera and take pictures of everything that is signed and of the person signing it. They think I'm crazy at times, but I refuse to get screwed out of well earned money.

Call them back and let them know you aren't happy and either need to figure out a way that suits you, or you can take your business elsewhere.
Reply:It sounds VERY strange to me, and very suspicious. Definitely not a good business practice to not give a customer a receipt when they ask for one.

I would go back there, and basically tell her that you NEED a copy of your order and the contract that you have with their business, and that you need receipts for every payment you've made. You have every right for those things, and if you don't get them, I would seriously cancel the order, find another florist, and file a complaint with the BBB. Go back there tomorrow or Monday, ask to speak to the owner (if that's not who you've been dealing with), and tell him/her to either produce receipts and a copy of the order, or consider the order cancelled.

You might want to check out another florist anyway. Good luck!

There are alot of businesses, who sadly, try to take advantage of brides and grooms while they're planning their weddings. You need to safeguard yourself against fraud. Documentation is your only way to do that.
Reply:Hmmm! You say the only reason you went with this florist is because you thought she would give you a good deal--not because she does good work? Do you think she knows that and is a bit offended? That you think she should be obligated to you because your fiancee' did a kindness for her son?

Perhaps that might be the reason she isn't willing to be more accommodating.

Of course, you do have a right to a written receipt for money already paid--and if you have a contract, you have a right to a copy of that, as well. But your approach might have been a bit on the heavy side and this was her way of letting you know that. After all, it seems that you are paying as you go, which is not the way it is usually done--and she is giving you that latitude. Florists prefer to have a large down payment to secure the order, and then final payment just prior to the wedding.

Business is business, so don't give her a hard time. Just because her attitude didn't meet your expectations doesn't mean that she isn't a good business person or an excellent floral designer. If you aren't happy, get your money back and go somewhere else.
Reply:I agree that sounds strange to me. You should at the very least be able to get a handwritten receipt fro the money you have paid, especially if you are paying cash. Not letting you see your order is also suspicious.

Did you sign a contract? If so you need to read it and all the fine print before deciding to cancel.

I would suggest calling her and requesting a copy of something that shows how much money you have paid to date and how much is left to pay, if she can't provider some sort of statement I would let her know that you are looking for other options. Have the contract handy in case she challenges you.

Good luck!
Reply:well I've heard of not getting a receipt until payed in full.but she would've handled it differently,by telling you this nicer,or some places have what they call estimated bill.stating that it could change base on flower available at the time of your wedding.
Reply:Report her to the BBB. And I say look for another florist. If you are paying for work that she has not started yet and you have no records of you paying her ever you are asking for trouble from this woman, who will probably mess you over in the end. This is highly suspicious behavior.
Reply:I can kinda see where she is coming from I wouldn't want to give a receipt until it was paid in full, just to keep the confusion down (she could have gotten screwed out of money before hand yanno?)

I don't see why she can't give you an invoice of the items your ordered w/ prices and then maybe the amounts you've paid so far w/ a balance remaining, all dated and maybe even signed by her or something so her people know you still owe on it. Try calling and asking if she could maybe do something like that for you.

If she's unwilling to work, I'd switch places, people shouldn't be rude in businesses like that because Bride's are already stressing yanno!?
Reply:You cannot get a receipt because by giving you a receipt, the owner is saying that you have indeed paid in full. Since you have NOT paid the full amount, you can ask her for an estimate or an invoice detailing the amounts due and the products to be provided.

Try going back and work this out with her. Depending on the terms of the agreement you signed, you may not be refunded the money you have already paid.

Good luck.
Reply:I would look for someone else and file that complaint. Once you pay money for something, be it a down payment on a house, car or flowers, you are entitled, by law, to a reciept. If she refuses to give you one, take your money and walk. Tons of florists out there, many supermakets will do a decent job if you are in a jam, but it seriously sounds like this woman is trying screw you over. You say you went with her to get a deal and all your getting is grief, something you dont need at this point.

Your wedding is in june, lots of time to get roses, which are in season in North America anyway. If you have paid a deposit to the flowers, ask for it back and go somewhere else. If you havent, give her a quick call to get the answering machine - means call after hours so you dont have to speak to anyone - and just say simply that you've decided to use someone else for the flowers, thank her for her time and hang up.

Since you dont have a reciept and if you have paid anything down, you have nothing that says you've given this woman money, so until she's willing to give you a 'proof of deposit' your not willing to give her anything. So techincally this woman can deny that you've ever given her anything in the first place.

File the complaint and get those roses from someone else
Reply:with my first wedding, i got a receipt with every payment i made, including the down payment with the balance due on them, and i got a copy of the order. i would demand the receipts and the copy of what you ordered or i would demand my money back and take your business else where. there is no reason why she is not giving this to you, very bad customer service.
Reply:I wouldn't buy anything from her. A wedding is big money for a florist. She should be jumping through hoops to please you. I hope you're getting contracts with all your vendors and NEVER pay in cash without getting a signed receipt.
Reply:You absolutely have a right to KNOW WHAT YOU ARE PAYING FOR. This woman is obligated to provide you with a WRITTEN contract that includes exactly what you guys agreed upon. She is also obligated to give you a receipt for the payments you have made. I hope you have a contract. I would get someone else, but you might lose your deposit if you have paid one.
Reply:I'm wondering if she will not supply the receipts since you may be being charged interest for paying over time? Most places I have been to give you a copy of the order when it is placed. That covers their behinds if someone tries to say the order was not what they requested. Not sure what to tell you. If some of your flowers have been ordered already you may not beable to back out and get much of a refund. Talk to your fiance. See what he wants to do about it as he is the one who has history with the family. Also, don't forget that people do have bad days. We've all snapped at someone when it wasn't their fault. Maybe give her another chance? Try going in when someone else is working (if that occurs)

Best of luck!

Which should I give to my girlfriend for Valentines day?

2009-11-16T23:12:00.001-08:00

Ok so my girlfriend moved away not to long ago to a different state. Instead of breaking up we decided to just get into a long distance relationship since both of us don't have to long until we turn 18 and can move in with each other.

Well my dilemma is what I should send her for Valentines day?

I had two options set for myself:

1.) Just call a florist in her town and have a dozen roses, a V-day card, chocolates, and a stuffed animal delivered to her house (or her school preferably, but I don't know if the florist will do it). This would be the more expensive option XD.

2.) Or I was thinking of sending her my favorite jacket (I think it's romantic) along with a couple metal roses I made in metal shop at school, a hand written poem, and a stuffed animal. This would be the inexpensive option seeing as I don't really have to buy anything except the stuffed animal :P.

So in your opinions, which one should I send? OR FEEL FREE TO SUGGEST YOUR OWN IDEAS!! Thanks..

Which should I give to my girlfriend for Valentines day?
Definitely #2. It's so much more personal and thoughtful, and, as you said, romantic. The fact that it's less expensive is just a bonus :)
Reply:I would much rather get your second choice..(the inexpensive one!) It's much more well-thought out and original. Good idea, by the way.
Reply:Go with number 2 without the jacket, but include a nice picture of yourself and add some nice chocolates. The roses and the poem are a good idea, and the chocolates and stuffed animal are a nice touch. Or instead of the stuffed animal, you could buy a nice photo frame and put a picture of you and her in it. Good luck.
Reply:Um, do number 1, not many females like your old dirty laundry, unless she's in to sentimental stuff, and she's 18 so I doubt it. Material would probably be the way to go, so number one. (I'm 27 by the way)
Reply:2.

Good luck.
Reply:i like the second option better! especially if you spray her favorite cologne on your jacket....

and for the stuffed animal - maybe one from build-a-bear?
Reply:i was in a long distance relationship when i was your age and i know how hard it can be. a great idea, that doesnt cost much at all is a love journal.

you purchase a journal, a pen, some stamps, some shipping envelopes that will fit the journal, and a small box to send it all in.

what you do is send the above items out to her, with a note on the first page telling her how much you miss her and why you sent this journal - so you can keep in touch and keep a record of this special time in your relationship.

you guys take turns with the journal, you decide how long each of you will keep it - a month, a week, a couple weeks. While its your turn with the journal, take pictures, draw little doodles, write love poems, write letters, just spend a couple minutes each day spending time connecting with her even though she's not there. then at the end of the given time frame, pop it in an envelope, put some stamps on it and send it to her. now its her turn!

its great for a few reasons - it proves how often you guys think of each other, it makes you closer even though there are miles between you, and it gives you something to look forward to! in regular relationships, we get to look forward to dates but its different for you two, and this evokes simular feelings.

and of course, your favorite jacket sprayed with a little of your favorite cologne is an extra special, personal touch that any girl would love and cherish, and makes you that much closer!

it doesnt take a lot of money for a romantic gift, all it takes a little heart. and this will be much more memorable than any store bought gift.
Reply:simple is nice and the best is dinner at night and make her feel special with you doing all the work and her relaxing she will enjoy seeing that you care so much about her
Reply:The second idea sounds good. It is more sentimental. (♥)

Flowers not delivered by FTD on Valentine's Day?

2009-11-16T23:12:00.000-08:00

A week ago I ordered flowers from a local FTD shop and on Feb.15 I get an email saying that "at this time we do not have a florist available in your recipient's delivery area who can deliver your product on 2/14." Can you believe that? She lives in the middle of MANHATTAN!! Don't tell me there are NO florists or deliveries in Manhattan!

This is just unacceptable, and on an occasion like this guys have to hang their head in shame because FTD could NOT do their job. This is the ONE day that makes FTD what it is...and they don't deliver.

I'm wondering how often does this happen where FTD can't deliver on Valentine's Day - let me know if you didn't get your FTD flower delivery, as scheduled, on Valentine's Day.

Flowers not delivered by FTD on Valentine's Day?
On Valentines Day, I learned a long time ago to contact the florist directly. When they price is given I include a good tip ahead of time. Remember that tip is To Insure Promptness. As for FTD make sure you stop payment with your credit card company. File a complaint if you can. Then to do damage control with your sweetheart, print out the email and give it to her with flowers that you bring her yourself. When she looks up from reading it, tell her that you were foolish to have trusted anyone else with a message from your heart.
Reply:that sucks. i live in florida and my boyfriend ordered me flowers and they STILL havent been delivered! I have to go pick them up myself NEVER going to have them ordered by FTD again!
Reply:I think what happens was as they were getting paid more fo the flowers in the days of valentines they cancelled the previous orders, and sold it for more.

Well you cant really do much now, you will get the money back or an apology but nothing more, how about you handpick some flowers, from garden, dont have to be roses or very nice, anything that is cute, make a bouquet type thing and give it to her now, she will appreciate it and love you more.
Reply:That's too bad. Please I live in NJ %26amp; FTD is worldwide. Hope your valentine forgave you.

nike casual shoes

Funny or not?

2009-11-16T23:11:00.002-08:00

It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets." "That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher. The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?" With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"

Funny or not?
lmao of course. wicked...
Reply:well.....it gross but it made me giggle
Reply:A little dis"taste"ful, but very funny.
Reply:hahaha, thats really funny.
Reply:awww sweet
Reply:ha!ha! that was funny! but kinda sick.
Reply:magic :)
Reply:hehe
Reply:i was expecting another answer; gross but funny
Reply:when i read your post i am always laughing
Reply:LOL FUNNY yes, and so cute!
Reply:Great
Reply:yes lots better than the gas mask kid
Reply:lmao ew!!! that is so hilarious!!!!!!!! haha i sure didnt see that coming!!!!!!!! haha
Reply:lovely!!!...lol
Reply:now that was funny
Reply:yes its funny
Reply:Lol ...
Reply:Ha ha ha!!! I didn't even see it coming!

Good one - needed a laugh tonight :-)
Reply:oh well that sucks for the teacher.

funny.. thnks :)
Reply:lol liked it
Reply:hahaha........ nice going there....... thanks for create this joke....... didn't see that coming at all.........
Reply:Made me laugh. Nice one.
Reply:funny
Reply:wht a abusivly funny joke

way ta go!

200/10.
Reply:That's pretty funny =)
Reply:Sick but funny! 10/10!
Reply:made me laugh
Reply:Tasty!
Reply:ewwwwwwwwww! love it!
Reply:yuk yuk yuk yuk! Great joke, though! I am a total fan of your jokes!!!

A Trinidadian JOKE!!!?

2009-11-16T23:11:00.001-08:00

A policeman walked into a barber shop and asked for a cut so the barber gave him the cut and when the police man asked what was the price the barber said "Free" it is on community service.

So the next day early in the morning when the barber was opening the saloon he saw a dozen DONUTS and a letter saying it was from the policeman.

Then a florist came got a cut, barber said it was on community service and the next day the barber found a dozen roses.

Now a Me trinidadian now come into the saloon and got the cut and barber said it was on communnity service.

So the next day when the barber was opening the saloon he saw a dozen fellow TRINIDADIANS waiting for FREE HAIR CUTS.

LOL

A Trinidadian JOKE!!!?
Very funny
Reply:lol
Reply:lol dats wats up trini repersent!

-LALA

Birthday Party?

2009-11-16T23:11:00.000-08:00

Mrs. B, a school teacher, was turning 31. Her students all decided to throw her a party.

"What a great party!" she says.

Then it was time to give her her presents.

Mary, the daughter of the local candy shop owner, gives her a box.

"You'll never guess what it is!" she said.

"Hmm," says Mrs. B "Candy?"

"Yes! How did you guess?" she said.

Ricky, the florist's son, gave her a box.

"You'll never guess what it is!" he said.

"Hmm," says Mrs. B "Flowers?"

"Yes! How did you guess?" he said.

It went on like this for a while.

Timmy, the son of the owner of the liquor shop, gave her a box. It had a yellow liquid dripping off a corner.

"You'll never guess what it is!" he said.

Mrs. B tasted a tiny drop of liquid.

"Hmm," says Mrs. B "Beer?"

"No," he said.

Once again, Mrs. B tasted a tiny drop of liquid.

"Wine?" she asked.

"Noo," he said.

Mrs. B tasted another tiny drop of liquid.

"Champagne?" she asked.

"Nooo! It's a puppy!" he said.

Birthday Party?
Somebody just posted this...

ah, you reposted it. Yeah,

its a lot funnier now

that it has a punchline!

Good One!
Reply:LOL.
Reply:O.O

boy...feel bad for the teacher

Last day of school joke-star if you like it?

2009-11-16T23:10:00.003-08:00

It was the last day of school, and all of the children brought presents for the teacher. The first child was the candy shop's owner's kid and handed the teacher his present. She shook it and said, "Is it chocolate?"

"Yep."

The second child was the florist's child and he gave the teacher a box. "Are they flowers?"

"Yes."

The third kid's parent was a liquor store owner. He gave her a cardboard box with a leak in it. She tasted a crop dripping from the box and said, "Is it liquor?"

"No...." said the kid.

She tasted another drop and said, "Is it champagne?"

"No..." he replyed.

"Then what is it?"

"A puppy!!!"

Last day of school joke-star if you like it?
I like this one, I've heard it before, but it's still good.

-Kids can bring liquor and champagne to school??jkjk
Reply:LOL!!!!!!!!!!!

that's funny and nasty

here have a star, enjoy

keep em comin
Reply:omg, that is sooooo funny! 92/10
Reply:nice
Reply:at first i was like ewwww cause i thought the leek was blood from the blood puppy but now i get it and i think it's funny!
Reply:That was a good one! I liked it!
Reply:te he he.. funny

sidi way rain boots

What was she licking!??

2009-11-16T23:10:00.002-08:00

Want to read a few jokes?

2009-11-16T23:10:00.001-08:00

Life before Computers

LIFE BEFORE THE COMPUTER

Memory was something you lost with age

An application was for employment

A program was a TV show

A cursor used profanity

A keyboard was a piano

A web was a spider's home

A virus was the flu

A CD was a bank account

A hard drive was a long trip on the road

A mouse pad was where a mouse lived

And if you had a 3-1/2 inch floppy ..

... you just hoped nobody ever found out

Sometimes

Sometimes, when you cry, no one sees your tears.

Sometimes, when you are happy, no one sees your smile.

But fart just one time....

Bad Cough

Outside a pharmacy in a busy street, a poor man is clutching onto a pole for dear life, not breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle, just standing there, frozen.

The pharmacist, seeing this strange sight in front of his shop, goes up to his assistant and asks, "What's the matter with that guy? Wasn't he in here earlier?"

Assistant replies, "Yes he was. He had the most terrible cough and none of my prescriptions seemed to help."

Pharmacist says, "He seems to be fine now."

Assistant replies, "Sure, he does. I gave him a box of the strongest laxatives on the market. Now he won't dare cough!"

Congratulations

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card; it said "Rest in Peace".

The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was ,the florist said. "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations on your new location."

Man Going Fishing

A man phones home from his office and tells his

wife, "I have a chance of a lifetime to go fishing

for a week, but I have to leave right away. So

pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and my blue

silk pajamas. I'll be home in about an hour to

pick them up." He goes home, grabs everything,

and rushes off. He returns a week later and his

wife asks if he had a good time. He says, "Oh yes

great! But you forgot to pack my blue pajamas!"

His wife smiles and says, "Oh no, I didn't. I put

them in your tackle box!"

Want to read a few jokes?
hahahahahahahaahahahaha

hahahahahahahaahahahaha

hahahahahahahaahahahaha

hahahahahahahaahahahaha

hahahahahahahaahahahaha

hahahahahahahaahahahaha

hahahahahahahaahahahaha

hahahahahahahaahahahaha

hahahahahahahaahahahaha

hahahahahahahaahahahaha

hahahahahahahaahahahaha

hahahahahahahaahahahaha

hahahahahahahaahahahaha

hahahahahahahaahahahaha

hahahahahahahaahahahaha

hahahahahahahaahahahaha

hahahahahahahaahahahaha

hahahahahahahaahahahaha

hahahahahahahaahahahaha

hahahahahahahaahahahaha

hahahahahahahaahahahaha

hahahahahahahaahahahaha

hahahahahahahaahahahaha

hahahahahahahaahahahaha

VERY VERY FUNNY JOKE!!!!
Reply:thumb up for u u funny
Reply:I give it a thumbs up
Reply:LMAO

Rate this joke from 1 to 10 (sorry if you've heard it before)?

2009-11-16T23:10:00.000-08:00

My great-grandmother ran a flower shop for 60 years. She was doing a booming business, when some monks moved in next door and started their own flower shop.

Since people prefered doing business with religious folk, my great-grandmother was in danger of losing her shop.

So she hinted that maybe they to move their shop across town. No dice. Then she tried screaming and swearing. They threw her out. Then she tried threats. They laughed at her.

Then she hired Hugh, the meanest biker in town who had been arrested 20 times for starting bar fights. Hugh went into the monk's place, smashed it up, and beat the crap out of them monks. They left town for good the next day.

So just remember, only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

Rate this joke from 1 to 10 (sorry if you've heard it before)?
8. I liked it. I've never heard it before, but long story jokes are my favorite, and this was pretty funny.
Reply:hehe ummmm 7? that goes a long way for a bad pun : )
Reply:-15 that joke stunk
Reply:this joke is a 10.
Reply:5
Reply:3
Reply:Hello, be fair out here! ur least rate limit says 1, which is too much for this aaaaaaaawwwwwwweeesummmmm bore....
Reply:Funny = ) 7.957
Reply:7
Reply:2.5

I was wondering why Hugh wasn't called snake untill the punchline
Reply:It's not even funny! Definitely 10 ..... negative 10.
Reply:4
Reply:10,,,,,,,,,cute enuf to even tell a kid !...Thanx
Reply:i give it

7 1/2 stars.

i really didn't get it.

can you tell me what it means?????
Reply:The typing gets a 10. The joke rates a five.....it felt good but no HA HA HA
Reply:?
Reply:that was a long joke but would have to give it a 7 and a half.
Reply:I would rate it pretty good for that. i give it a -50. so it sucked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
Reply:012
Reply:3 i've heard that one way too many times.

What do you think of this centrepiece for my wedding?

2009-11-16T23:09:00.003-08:00

Hi, I would appreciate some opinions. I am having my reception in this marquee, see photo in 'About the reception' page: http://www.matthewandelise.com/

For the table decorations, what do you think about this?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/27093873@N0...

The table is going to have a silver sash going across it like in the photo (they will be on the chairs too) and in the middle there will be the mirrors with the vase of flowers in the middle and candles around the outside. The lilies will be white and much better arranged, I just bought these from the shop so they aren't as good as what the florist will do obviously :) Each setting will have six frosted candles. So what do you think? Any suggestions?

What do you think of this centrepiece for my wedding?
A few things.

1. I love your website, it looks strikingly familiar to mine! LOL You used wedquarters didn't you? :)

2. I LOVE THE CENTERPIECE, it's so fresh and clean and beautiful!

3. MIRRORS ARE NOT TACKY! They add a wonderful ambiance. I had mirrors on mine and you would not believe the compliments people gave me about them. They weren't our mirrors they were the venue's we just put together the rose in the vase with the stones.

BEAUTIFUL!
Reply:I love your centrepieces, and Im not just saying that! We did a similar one, with mirrors too. But yours is better than ours was!

More flowers needed to balance out the wide vase. Are you going to do the fairy lights and white flowy curtains like in the "About the reception" picture?

**Lovely marquee.. its going to look amazing.
Reply:I think they look great! I like the simple elegance of them and the branches add great height without being overbearing. Once they are fuller the branches will hold better too! I like the mirror too, that doesn't need to be changed. Mirror adds the relflective quality with the frosted votives.

BTW - you two look so happy in your website!
Reply:I agree with everyone else - branches too tall etc but I think the vase might be a bit big. I know you said the florists will do it better, but it looks like there is too much room for the amount of flowers you have - I would suggest either more flowers (which could be costly) or have a slightly thinner vase to hold them. Nice though, love the candles surrounding it!!
Reply:Elegant and fresh. It will look beautiful especially with the white marquee as a backdrop.

I actually like that the lilles are pink, but I guess all white will suit your theme more.

Did you do them or did the florist? They look really good. Maybe you should consider DIY to save yourself some money. I quite like them the way they are.

Good choice!
Reply:the white twigs/branches are too tall

everything else is great but the jump from the top of the lillies to the top of the twigs is too vast

it looks like you thought they were too small without, so stuck them in, it doesnt flow

it needs something, perhaps try shortening them, they look good WITH it, they are just too tall
Reply:I like the reception hall. Youre website is cute too!

I DONT care for the mirror under the vase though. It looks kinda tacky and I think will make the centerpicecs look cheap. The candles look just fine and pretty with out the dreadful mirror.
Reply:I like everything except the branches. They don't really add anything to the centerpiece, and kinda draw attention away from the pretty flowers.
Reply:I'll just merge the answers since I think everyone is on the right track. Trim the branches down and lose the mirror. But otherwise a nice combination for the vase and the candles are nice.
Reply:i agree with the first answer. trim the twigs down a bit and they'll look stunning.

the candles will set off the room and give it a nice elegant glow paired with the lillies

good luck and congrats to you!!
Reply:I think it looks absolutely beautiful and the candles will make it so romantic!!!!!
Reply:I love them! to me they dont look tacky, but just right! However the twigs are a bit tall!

company

Math problem...?

2009-11-16T23:09:00.002-08:00

A shop owner sells a pair of shoes for 39.95 dollars.

The buyer pays the owner with a 100 dollar bill. But the owner does not have exact change so he goes over to the florist and gets change for the 100 dollar bill and comes back to give the buyer exact change. After the buyer leaves the florist comes back and tells the owner that the 100 dollar bill is a counterfeit. The owner, feeling responsible gives the florist 100 dollars from his till.

How much money did the owner loose [if any] in this transaction?

Math problem...?
$200.00
Reply:239.95$

Holiday pay?

2009-11-16T23:09:00.001-08:00

Hello there,

I work for a florist in the UK and get payed monthly and work on an hourly wage.

By law do I get payed for christmas and boxing day and new years day? As I didn't work these days,the shop was closed.

Thank you!!

Holiday pay?
It's the same in Britain if you work the day before and after you are due to the days
Reply:Hi!

This is not a question of law, it's a question of contract.

You must have a contract of employment (that is a question of law) so your holiday entitlement will be set out in detail.

If it is not, then your contract is defective and your employer could be in trouble.

If your contract makes no provision for holiday pay then you should take the matter up with your employer. To be fair though, you should have read the contract before starting the job.

It might be a bit late now to attempt to amend your terms of employment.

Good Luck
Reply:In the Uk you are entitled to 24 days paid leave a year as a minimum. If you have a contract which states more, then you get more. The 24 days can include bank holidays, so the Christmas holidays could have been deducted from your allowance and therefore be paid. You need to clarify this with your employer.

If you do not have written terms and conditions of employment, then your employer is breaking the law, but you do still have a contract in law if you turn up for work and are paid.
Reply:It depends on whether your contract says that you get paid for bank holidays. By law I don't think there is a requirement for you to get paid for days you haven't worked.
Reply:Here in the states if you work the day before and the day after you do get paid for the holidays. I don't really know about UK. You could ask someone in HR they should be able to help you.
Reply:If you hold a full time contract then by law you are entitled to these public holidays, which means you do get paid for them.
Reply:dont know what the rules are in the UK. In the US it depends on how long you have been with the employer, if the place is closed on holidays and if you are full time or part time. Happy New Year.

Good old barber......................lo...

2009-11-16T23:09:00.000-08:00

One day a florist goes for a haircut,after the cut he gets up to pay and the barber says " i cannot accept payment as i am doing a community service." the florist leaves happy and the next morning the barber goes to open his shop and finds a thank you card and a dozen red roses.

A short while later a cop comes in for a trim up,as he gets up to pay the barber says " i'm sorry i will not accept any payment as i'm doing a community service" the cop walks out more than pleased,the next day the barber comes in to open his shop and finds a thank you card and a dozen doughnuts.

The following day a jewish rabbi comes in for a cut and again as he is about to pay the barber says" my good man i don't take payment as i'm doing a community service,the rabbi thanks him and leaves.

The next morning the barber comes to open his shop to find..........

A dozen jews waiting for a free haircut

LOL @ THAT ONE

Good old barber......................lo...
lmao, I thought it would be the left overs from circumcisions! Guess that shows where my head is.
Reply:as a good little jewish girl i find this joke....

very accurate...lol 10/10. keep the jewish comedy coming!
Reply:this is to cute i love it i am glad im not jewish or i would be mad and try to sue you lol
Reply:I'd really love you to forget about that damn LOL @ THAT!

apart from that, the joke is funny!
Reply:is this true,wheres the shop lol
Reply:lol
Reply:hehe
Reply:lol funny
Reply:Not funny
Reply:hahahaha
Reply:I was laughing, but TW, you just made me LMAOOOOOOOO!
Reply:typical
Reply:that's FUNNY - LoL
Reply:lmao star for you!
Reply:Lol very funny
Reply:lol
Reply:lol, thats a good one.
Reply:not bad @ all

How did a guy I met through an internet dating site find me I never gave him the town I was living in?

2009-11-16T23:08:00.003-08:00

I met an guy over 1 year ago through a dating site, we have been emailing one another for about 10 months. I never told him the true city I live in, but the true stat and I Never told him my real name !. He lives in Tulsa Oklahoma. Also when we met on the dating site my picture was posted and his wasn't but I enjoyed talking to him and he promise to send a picture , he never has, but says soon, (right). We have never talked on the phone and I made sure not to disclose any personal information, but I did tell him a few times I go walking on the seawall and I live near Houston. Well, today is my birthday ( never told borth year) and I receive an email from him, that I have flowers waiting for me at a local flower shop and he says he hopes I live in or near that city. Yes I can the florist and the flowers and gifts are there. Should I be afraid , during the couse of us emailing he seem to be ok...but now I'm worried . How did he find me with such little information

How did a guy I met through an internet dating site find me I never gave him the town I was living in?
"go walking on the seawall and I live near Houston."

How many bodies of water are really anywhere near Houston?

Probably just deduction, hopefully he isn't a stalker and just a harmless guy with a sincere crush on you.
Reply:You should be glad he is not an idiot and he was able to put 2 and 2 together and pick a near by shop based on the fact that you live near Houston and take walks on the seawall. also you said that he said that he hopes you live near that shop which means that he was just making an educated guess. you don't have anything to worry about unless he shows up at your house, but then it will be too late.
Reply:that is scary...could he have gotten from the dating website some kind of way?
Reply:you'd be surprised what you can accomplish on the internet nowadays. For about ten bucks, I can find you by your last name and first name, and the process of elimination.
Reply:Honestly it isn't very hard to find out, there are way to many ways to list.

What you should hope for is that he was actually paying attention to the things you said and pieced it together over time through various little things you said (possible since you have been talking for so long), as opposed to going searching for you on the internet (Creepy)

All in all, if he sent flowers on your birthday to a local flower shop, I would assume that hes not an insane stalker, (Aka 10 months of talking should let you know of what his personality is like) and just likes you and was trying to surprise you.

I do not know your personal history or the things you said, but do not be to quick to freak out ;). I would suggest that you just ask him, and odds are he will tell you what it was you said that he remembered.
Reply:There are places on the internet where you can type in some info and it will show you some things that can help with a search!

In your case, i think you should not converse with this person any more, change your e-mail address, tell your parents about it, and do not go to meet him!

Haven't you been watching that program on TV, where the TV program has a fake young girl who contacts some guy, then he is invited to a certain address, When he shows up, with sex toys, and other things, he's arrested and charged! there are all types of crackpots out there preying on young girls, with just the method that guy used to find you!

Beware--beware--tell your folks, don't fall for his wiles!

Those types of people use e-mail and the internet to further their games, so don't go to pick up the flowers, because he'll know to further his search, and might even find your home, and all he'll have to do is watch and wait, until you're home alone, then he'll swoop in, and you won't be able to defend yerself,!

He might even have told the flower shop to call him when you go to pick up the flowers, and they may have called him when you called to inquire if they were there1 See how easy it is, if ya aren't very careful??

HTH: James H.
Reply:tell the police :-(
Reply:May be he is guessing. He wants to see your reaction.
Reply:If your phone number (the one he has) is listed in a directory, you can do a reverse search on the number and find who it is and what their address is. And it's perfectly legal because it's public information (from a phone book).
Reply:Do NOT meet him before he sends a photo.

I had a coworker who was meeting women online through E-Harmony and only telling them he was "fat."

True indeed.

He weighed a good 450-plus and bathed rarely.

Overweight isn't the only problem someone could present, but people should like the looks of their potential mates/dates.

Take your photo down and don't show it to any guys who have not ostensibly shown you theirs first. And don't lie any more.
Reply:Do you have any personal information on your email? If it was your personal email acct you used to email him, it could have come with your name on it. He didn't just pull the information out of the air. The dating site won't devulge any information so it's not them. I would be worried too, have you thought about asking him where he got the information? Or you could just say that you never received the flowers %26amp; gift, that way he won't be sure he has the right address.
Reply:Baby, If he hasn't done anything by now, chances r he won't, its been 2 long 4 that and he would of already made his move if he really wanted 2 rape or even kill u, don't u think. Chill out baby, if he waited this long chances r, hes doing it because he cares and respects u, otherwise he wouldn't of waited this long.
Reply:He took a good guess you overly paranoid freak.

Probably pulled up google earth. Punched in Houston, and then looked for seawall areas. And kept his fingers crossed and guessed.

How bout, you've been talking to him for 10 months, call him on the phone for crying out loud and thank him profusely for caring enough to even TRY and send you flowers.

Yep, and could have just typed in your last name into the white pages and kept his fingers crossed. which is why he picked one out and said he hoped.
Reply:Well if you have your town posed anywhere else then im sure it would be pretty easy. People can do anything nowadays.
Reply:Don't let him know he got the city right for one. And if it's been 10 months and he won't send you a picture.....drop him...He's hiding for a reason. I don't know how he found you but someone I was talking to did something similar and I stopped talking to him. If you want him to know where you live you'd tell him. I would not talk to him anymore. If you are underage, tell you parents. It's better to admit to a mistake then not and end up dead.
Reply:it might be pure coninsidence. he may have remembered u saying u lived near houston and he decided to send to flowers to a shop there, hoping it would be close enough for you to pick them up. he doesnt know your house address so obviously he didnt do tht much investigating, if he had figured that out, then you should worry. so jst relax, this may jst be a nice guy who wanted to give you a happy birthday surprise. dont take it the wrong way
Reply:You need to tell someone like the authorities.Perverts can find someone by a simple screen name.If i was you i would call the cops. Block the person i don't care if you know him online well. people lie!

mens leather boots

Gift for first birthday?

2009-11-16T23:08:00.002-08:00

k, so my upstairs neighbour is having a birthday party in our backyard this afternoon for his daughter. She's gonna be one. When I came home from church the neighbor was setting up some tables and stuff and saw me, and said if I'm around I should come. I will be around, but I don’t really want to come because I'm extremely shy. But I had planned on spending the afternoon gardening, so whatever I do, I'll bump into them.

Anyway, regardless of what I do, since they asked me to come, I feel obligated to at the very least get her a gift. Although I have no idea what would be appropriate. Any ideas? i was thinking a bunch of flowers, but I'm not sure it's okay, because that's more a gift for the parents than for the baby. I don’t want to spend a lot either, so please help.

It’s Sunday, but even though I have an ethical opposition to Sunday shopping, I think it’s okay in these circumstances, however, not much is available to me. There is a big grocery store near here with a florist that also sells clothes and a few toys, there is a dollar store, and there is a drug store.

So question 1: Am I obligated to attend?

Question 2: Do I have to get a gift?

Question 3: what type of gift should I get?

Gift for first birthday?
get a gift card and tell em i wasnt sure what to buy,,so i hope thi will come in handy......that would nice
Reply:you could stop by for a few minutes. if they couldnt tell you they were having a b day party for their child (today is my b day too) in advance then don't get the child anything. if you feel obliged to then just hit the dollar store and find a couple cute stuffed animals or something that will entertain the child when she is outside.
Reply:You are not obligated to go, you weren't sent an invitation. The parent was just being nice. Maybe some other time when you are baking maybe take over some cookies or something.
Reply:I think it would be nice of you to go even for just a little while, you can always just say you have yard work that must be done. I'd run out and pick up a cute First Birthday card and enclose a small amount, maybe $5.
Reply:1. You don't have to, but it'd be a nice thing to do. You don't have to stay the whole time.

2. You don't have to, again, but it would be nice.

3. Any kind of cute little stuffed animal, or maybe even a little hat or something.
Reply:I think it would be nice for you to attend; get her a gift card to toy's r us, or some toy store.

you could also get her some easy to read books to get her started.
Reply:Babies don't know what the gift is. Just get a gift card for one of the stores near you and the parents will buy the baby something cute with it. Or put a $10 in a card and call it a day.

And you're not obligated to go anywhere you don't want to. But if you'll be out there gardening, for heaven's sake, go have a piece of birthday cake and get back to work. You don't have to stay all day. They invited you to be neighborly, so go have a piece of cake, ooh and aah over the baby a little bit and get back to work. They're not going to care that much how long you stay, they were just being friendly.

But yes, if you go, you should have a gift of some kind. Trust me, a card with a $10 bill in it is just fine.
Reply:ok so you dont want to go , if it were me i would go get a card , i would walk it over say happy birthday and leave, i do not think u are obligated to buy a gift because u were invited, a gift is from the heart, i thik a card is fine
Reply:You are not obligated to attend, especially considering the short notice. IF you want to go, a nice card with say five or ten dollars inside would be absolutely acceptable. ALSO, considering the short notice, I would not expect a guest to bring a gift. If I expected a guest to bring a gift I would make the invite much earlier than the day of the party.
Reply:No you are not obligated to go. Avoid the garden so you don't have to see them. But if you do go just get a card. Don't worry about a gift as you were only asked last minute anyway. A card is good enough.

I want to send flowers to a girl?

2009-11-16T23:08:00.001-08:00

I'm planning to send flowers to this great girl who went to prom with me last year, but this is my first time sending flowers a girl. So I need some help. Here is the list of questions.

1) Should I use a florist company on the internet, such as FTD.com, or local flower delivery shops? I live far away from her now, and I don't know the details about local florists near her house. Can I trust FTD.com?

2) Should I send a bouquet without a vase or with a vase? You only send flowers in a vase to people who are sick, am I correct? Which form do you expect flowers to come in when your partner send you flowers?

3) I want to give her a card with personalized message with the flowers. Can I do that?

If you have any experience of sending flowers or receiving flowers, please post me some answers. They will be greatly appreciated. I always give 5 stars to best answer and I will give two thumbs up after choosing it! Thank you!

I want to send flowers to a girl?
FTD is a respectable company and they have lovely arrangements you can choose from on their website. That said, I prefer to use local florists because they are very helpful. When I sent my mom flowers on her birthday I was able to have an arrangement that had her favorite flowers and colors in it. As for your other questions send them in a vase, it is always much nicer to be able to view the flowers then to have to cut the stems and arrange them yourself. And either way you send them you can add a personalized message. Good luck.
Reply:Oops. My other account has not reached level 2 to give a thumb up. sorry about that. Report It

Reply:If you haven't ordered from Martha Stewart Flowers then you should. They have a vast variety and arrangements starting at $29.99. Unlike most floral websites, Martha Stewart Flowers provides beautiful fresh-cut flowers. Report It

Reply:Why are you sending girls flowers? When you went to the prom with this girl, you probably ended up paying for all kinds of things, so you owe her nothing. What is it that you hope to accomplish by sending her flowers?
Reply:I used 1-800-flowers.com. They do a really great job with flowers and other things as well, like teddy bears, etc. And you get to put your own personal greeting. I would think flowers with a vase would be best, they always pick out a great one to match the flowers. Good luck hun!
Reply:Obviously you really like this girl a lot. It's so cute that you want to send her flowers. I know that girls love flowers from my own experience. I am a girl!! Well if it were me you were sending the flowers to, I would just buy some. I'm not a particular girl, %26amp; i would love to have a guy send me flowers. I'm sure she'll be happy with whatever you choose to do.

Good luck

Florists won't deliever on Sundays?

2009-11-16T23:08:00.000-08:00

Why is it so difficult to find a florist that does Mother's Day delivery?

My mom is a nurse and works on Sundays - I'd like to have her some flowers sent but nooooooo.... "We don't deliver on Sundays!," is all I keep getting. I even tried 1-800-Flowers and they said their local shops in that area wouldn't deliver on Sundays.

Good grief.. I'm so frustrated. Any ideas?

Florists won't deliever on Sundays?
Is there a floral shop in the hospital she works at. They are probably open on Sunday and since they are in the same building, would probably bring them to her.
Reply:My daughters both work for florists, and they have been busy since yesterday at dawn doing the mother's day deliveries. If it's important to you that it's delivered to her on Sunday, could you maybe find a friend or someone you know in the area to drop it off at the hospital?

If you call 1-800 flowers, they are just going to call a local florist, a lot of people don't understand that. My daughters were delivering valentine bouquets for 2 or 3 days after Feb 14 which were orders from 1-800 Flowers. I'm sure it will be the same for mothers day.
Reply:get them delivered today.........

there are 50 million Mothers who all expect flowers tomorrow................get a jump on them,,,,,,,,,,,,,